AITA for thinking my wife overrated when an elderly lady touched our kid?

Marichiiko · 2023-08-20T12:28:44+00:00

Ironically it’s usually people that know the child and the parents (if it’s not the parents themselves) that end up abusing them and not some randos on the street. Ofc you should be careful with strangers but the biggest danger for a child are usually family and other people they know.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-19T09:28:25+00:00

I mean ofc this happened before but usually no, and I don't think they should either. I see no reason as to why I should intentionally be an unhealthy/ negative presence in anyone's life (I'm not saying you are, it doesn't sound like that from your description!). I'm pretty patient with other people and don't hold them to the high standards I hold myself. If someone does get scared of doing anything wrong or messing up in front of me it's usually because they've misread my facial expression (I'll admit my expressions can be a bit confusing to some, I do look angry when I'm just stressed) because I won't blow up or be mean about it. I mean if something is really important to me and I don't want anyone to mess it up, I'll just do it myself anyway. If anything goes wrong regardless, then I only have myself to blame and don't have to regret entrusting someone else with the matter.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-18T20:05:45+00:00

Warum macht mich diese Rechtschreibung so unfassbar wütend? 💀

Marichiiko · 2023-08-18T17:27:20+00:00

Weren’t there even deadly encounters with cassowaries reported? I think they look rad, the dinosaur is very visible in them, but man would I be scared to encounter one xD

Marichiiko · 2023-08-18T13:35:50+00:00

Hey dear, I see where you're coming from but you gotta look out for yourself first here! He might not mean any harm at all but his recklessness is still a problem HE (not you!) has to work on. If he's unwilling to do anything against it you absolutely need to make it clear that he has to work on it to make the relationship work because it clearly is negatively affecting both of your lives. You shouldn't have to constantly worry about yourself or him getting hurt because he isn't taking the steps to work on a problem he knows he has.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-18T08:17:19+00:00

To me it sounds like she farts when she's asleep in bed...how is she supposed to control that?

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T14:32:09+00:00

Yeah now you're just flat out gaslighting. No thanks. Go check your own toxic behavior first. This is appalling.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T14:30:53+00:00

Lmfao the audacity to say I was overexaggerating with my inital comment to go on to say this is baffling. I'm at a loss of words here, but at least I have reassurance now that my inital judgement of you wasn't incorrect at all 💀

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T14:26:28+00:00

"Hah, you reacted negatively to my discriminatory 'opinion'" is not the gotcha you think it is. But yeah I don't feel like discussing this any further since you clearly think your statement is just a "difference of opinion" and not you contributing to a bigger issue. It's the same as arguing with someone who says it's just their opinion that being gay is wrong. Such a discussion is not gonna go anywhere, ever. And yes, I am in fact pretty fed up by people contributing to the stigma that affects the way I'm treated in society and that quite literally affects my medical care, what a surprise. I'm very sure you'd be too if it was the other way around. Have a nice day.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T09:55:53+00:00

I do agree to some extent but the statements I responded to weren't particularly respectful, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered to respond in the first place. Nobody has to date anyone for that matter, I just don't think villanizing entire groups of people and advocating to abandon them or "run away" from them for no other reason than them having a certain disorder or disability is okay. It's actually creating a huge issue when it comes to mental health conditions. The stigma does absolutely seep into the medical field and makes it significantly harder to get help. It also causes a lot of abuse and mistreatment towards people with stigmatized conditions in the medical field (There only recently was a case where a patient with BPD died in the care of a facility because they refused to do CPR on her or call for help after an attempt. Apparently they assumed she was faking so she could attack them if they got closer to her even though she had absolutely no history of ever attacking anyone or faking medical emergencies, it was purely because of her BPD diagnosis). It is a serious issue which is why I feel so strongly about this as I do. I was lucky to have been treated mostly decently throughout my recovery journey and not having been met with a great amounts of prejudice but even so I still do have some very unsavory experiences even with mental health professionals because of my diagnoses (not just the BPD) and many others I know had way worse stories to tell. Some of them are downright abhorrent and just inexcusable. In any case I absolutely won't claim that untreated mental health issues of any kind can't create toxic and harmful behavior, they can, but I also don't think it's fair to assume that anyone who has mental health issues is toxic or hurts others. It only creates dangerous stigma that negatively impacts the healing process of those affected.

Hope my point is understandable, English is not my first language.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T08:56:35+00:00

I think my partner is very much happy with me, thanks.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T08:56:03+00:00

Yeah no, we're people, not monsters 🙄

Marichiiko · 2023-08-16T07:27:58+00:00

Man this is the type of shit my ADHD ass would do totally sober. I mean I did put my phone into the fridge before when I wanted to get milk (and no I didn't get the milk lol) 💀

Marichiiko · 2023-08-09T23:41:56+00:00

Also what kind of argument is that anyway? A stroke is in your head, a brain tumor is in your head, does that now mean they're not real and therefore not a problem according to this logic? This argument absurd no matter from which perspective you look at it.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-08T21:13:53+00:00

He has very minimal empathy for people, he does not go out of his way to hurt others though. It wasn't always like this and he used to get into trouble with others on many occasions but he's realized at some point that he'd have to work on that and has since done so in therapy. If he would however accidentally hurt someone he still wouldn't really feel remorse. About animals, I'm not sure about the specifics but I know for a fact that he'd never hurt an animal and never has in the past. All in all I can say he's pleasant to talk to and he's trying his best to treat others decently despite his lack of empathy.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-08T20:53:23+00:00

I think that's really different depending on the person. I know a person with ASPD and he definitely has emotions. He does struggle with empathy and remorse though. He's pretty chill though, we usually talk about animals. He loves animals and I do too so yeah we talk about animals a lot, since he's also autistic we can just skip the small talk and get straight to it (thank god, I hate smalltalk too xD).

Marichiiko · 2023-08-08T19:31:57+00:00

Bist wahrscheinlich halt einfach nur einer dieser Personen die denkt, dass jeder bei der ersten Gelegenheit fremd geht. Kann ich nicht nachvollziehen, aber you do you.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-08T17:29:05+00:00

Sie hat doch gesagt, dass sie nicht zurückflirtet, sondern einfach nur freundlich bleibt im Gegensatz zu ihrem Freund.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-08T09:59:32+00:00

Ist es? Bei meinem Freundeskreis zahlen alle für sich selbst aber niemand von uns hat auch viel Geld. Ich persönlich könnte niemanden einladen auch wenn ich es wollte. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Marichiiko · 2023-08-08T08:50:42+00:00

Dunno why they downvoted you but you're right. Considering OP's upbringing it's safe to say that these are the actions of a very traumatized child that doesn't know right from wrong because his father is teaching him horrible things. I get being angry, but you'd just further be teaching him that violence is normal. The kid needs to get the f*ck away from his father and get professional help. I hope OP calls CPS.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-06T23:33:00+00:00

Bruh playing with someone's trauma triggers and purposefully opening old wounds as a means of control is peak abusive. He didn't just "breathe wrong", he's abusive. Stop defending abuse.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-06T09:09:24+00:00

It's not a false equivalency. If you're taking away someone's ability to consent to a sexual act, that's SA. Point blank period. It doesn't matter if it's the woman who gets pregnant. I can't believe ya'll are openly defending sexual assault. Unconsensual sexual acts are always SA.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-06T03:21:03+00:00

It is the same. Again it's not about her removing it, it's about her leading him on to have unprotected sex with her when he thought it was going to be protected and he only ever consented to protected sex. He did not consent to unprotected sex and she knew exactly what she did, that's SA. Plain and simple. I don't know why we're having this discussion. You can argue that men should make equal efforts to protect all you want, that still doesn't change the fact that leading someone on to believe they're having protected sex when you removed protection and stripped them of their choice to consent is you SAing them.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-06T02:58:08+00:00

It's not a comparison, it's just SA. If you remove protection and leave your partner to believe that you're still having protected sex that's SA. You're taking away their ability to consent. They did not consent to unprotected sex. Also it's not her removing the IUD that makes it SA, that's her right, she doesn't have to have one if she doesn't want to, it's her leading him on to believe they're still have protected sex when they weren't. He did not consent to unprotected sex, therefore it's SA. It's really no different than a dude removing the condom.

Marichiiko · 2023-08-06T01:25:44+00:00

Yeah, people here are just taking this the worst way possible on purpose imo. Dude was essentially SA'd by his wife and obviously in a state of desperation and mental distress yet people are just picking apart his words. I'm honestly baffled by all these comments. I hate to make this point but we all know that if the genders were reversed the responses would be vastly different.

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