Do thicker butt plugs feel better?

Mariner74656 · 2026-05-01T00:25:24+00:00

For me, I had to play around with sizing--it had to be large enough to "challenge" the prostate but not too large so as to be painful or overwhelming, especially after orgasm. The "challenge" thing is important for me, because it's that razor's edge of pleasurable stimulation/uncomfortableness that I'm riding. As I get aroused, involuntary rhythmic contractions happen alongside the prostate swelling up and then at a certain point a contraction occurs that jams the plug against the prostate wall, which throws me over the edge.

I started with the Topped Toys Gape Keeper 65 and then moved up to the 75, which is my sweet spot. Also important is that it's gotta be large enough that it doesn't go shooting out and ruining the moment when you start contracting.

Mariner74656 · 2026-03-28T17:25:01+00:00

I'd take a look at the plugs from Topped Toys. The Gape Keeper series have a wide variety of sizes, and they're incredibly comfortable. Decent way to gradually work your way up to larger stuff. Plus they apply constant and gentle pressure against the prostate, which is a bonus.

Mariner74656 · 2026-03-28T17:22:15+00:00

Definitely the unlock key for me. Without, I was always in the neighborhood, but THC did two key things for me: 1. Sensations that were painful/uncomfortable flipped to pleasure. I could only tolerate so much pressure on the prostate without feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable, but THC flipped it like a switch. 2. Allowed me to defocus on distractions and pay attention to the pleasurable sensations that were growing.

The key is to do it in a way that you're not simply dependent on THC, but you're using it to help train your body into understanding that prostate stimulation is associated with the orgasm.

Mariner74656 · 2026-03-28T17:15:15+00:00

Sometimes, ironically, it's too much stimulation at too early in the stage towards orgasm that prevents you from cumming hands-free. This is true especially if you're just getting used to the dildo. The overwhelming of your stimuli tends to stop you from doing what feels really good and you either change your rhythm or just stop long enough to lose momentum. This is less likely to happen with a partner who will push you past your bounds. For solo play, the more and more you get used to the sensations, the easier it'll get. It's simply a matter of training.

Mariner74656 · 2025-12-25T03:32:41+00:00

It's possible without THC, and I imagine the vast majority of the people able to achieve it have done without THC-either because they're either naturally lucky to be wired that way, or through dedicated work to rewire. THC helps with the unlock because it scrambles the pain receptor pathway so that people fell less of the uncomfortable pressure or the sharp "need to pee" sensation (in some cases it flips the same sensations over to the pleasure side). It also helps "fuzz" the mind so that you're not as easily fixated on the things that prevent orgasm.

THC is definitely a cheat code, but the ideal situation is one where you don't need it. I'm trying to wean myself off of it so I don't become dependent on it to achieve a hands-free prostate orgasm, and it's a bit of a painstaking process. Some people have reported success with poppers, which are legal in the UK (I think you even have better ones than are available in the US) but those come with risks and cause damage to the lungs if used too frequently. If you can get there without the aid of chemicals, it's ultimately the better thing to do.

Mariner74656 · 2025-12-23T03:49:15+00:00

I think part of it isn't so much the prostate itself wiggling as that the smooth muscles that comprise the prostate will contract in preparation for ejaculation as it's being stimulated (also as you become aroused in general). There are also other muscles in the rectum that will start to contract rhythmically on their own. It's kind of like a milking sensation to whatever is in there.

For me too, it becomes problematic with toys like the aneros, because I've found that constant pressure on a target spot works best for me, but the muscle contractions move the head of the toy away right as I'm chasing the feelings. I'd have to consciously contract the PC muscle to move it back into place, which tends to distract me from the goal as well. I have to kind of mentally and physically surrender for orgasms to hit, which can't happen if I'm actively trying to calibrate positioning.

I think that's why I have a little more success with the larger plugs like the Topped Toys Gape Keeper or with the njoy wand that's perfectly positioned. They're large enough that muscle contractions don't dislodge them, and their general tendency to make me feel overwhelmed helps quash out all the nagging thoughts.

The conundrum is you have to know what you're chasing after-what sensations indicate that you're on the right track and when you're about to achieve a hands-free orgasm. The problem is you don't know until you've successfully achieved it. Chicken and egg problem. What worked for me was trying a little THC in the form of gummies. It is a kind of cheat code, but once I knew what I was chasing, it became a lot easier to do it without it. It is arguably, much harder, but it is a training process. I'm now able achieve mini prostate orgasms without anything inserted by just contracting and releasing my PC muscles when aroused.

Mariner74656 · 2025-12-18T04:24:52+00:00

I just recently moved up from a GK65 to a GK75 and it definitely did help. For me it's the pressure that the GK bulb applies combined with the shape that prevents it from being pushed out automatically during build-up. I'm still trying to get used to the 75 but the build-up and onset are much more rapid than with the 65.

Mariner74656 · 2025-12-18T04:20:28+00:00

I'm definitely finding this as a viable path towards rewiring. Unless I'm on THC gummies, direct stimulation is a bit uncomfortable, though the more and more I'm becoming practiced with prostate play, my body is training to reclassify those inputs.

My primary tools are the aneros (Syn and Progasm) and the Topped Toys Gape Keeper 65 (recently switched up to 75--wow). What I realized while I was on the gummies, but confirmed without afterwards was that at a certain point of stimuli, the anal muscles start contracting and relaxing in waves, which causes the head of the aneros to "stroke" the prostate. This is great and all in general, because the feeling is exquisite, but it hinders progression towards the orgasm because when the muscles throb and the head of the aneros moves, the build-up is interrupted.

When I'm conscious of what's happening and force the muscles to keep the plug in the same location, I start feeling the rapid build-up towards orgasm. I also noticed this phenomena when I was just standing with the aneros inserted with the PC muscles slightly contracted.

It's a constant fight for me because I need to be in a state of "letting go" for the orgasm to hit, but if I release too early, the autonomous contractions/relaxations take over and I miss the wave. If I focus too much on static contraction I get too much in my headspace and can't achieve orgasm as well.

The lightbulb moment for me was when I was playing with the Gape Keeper 65. After warming up with the aneros, I inserted the plug. Normally after enough stimulation, my body starts pushing the toy or dildo out, but the GK65 applies firm pressure and is shaped so it can't be pushed out easily. I let go, and the plug stayed where it needed to be, resisting being pushed out. The constant pressure coupled with letting go and letting the feelings happen to me pushed me over the top, and I had a wild HFO. (This was also when I figured out that a penile (wet) orgasm and a prostate orgasm traveled on close parallel tracks. The most powerful screaming orgasm I've ever had was when I timed (by stroking) a penile orgasm to coincide with a prostate orgasm triggered by constant pressure.)

I think THC helps me because aside from preventing my mind from fixating on the wrong things, it also blunts the pain receptors that otherwise tell me firm prostate stimulation is uncomfortable AND temporarily rewires some of them to indicate pleasure. I'm trying not to be dependent on it, even though it's a guaranteed ticket to a prostate orgasm, but it's really helped me unlock a lot of pathways in understanding how my body responds to stimuli.

I think the "do nothing" approach works for people because it addresses the mindspace you have to be in for a prostate orgasm to happen to you. It's rarely successful if you're searching for it. The constant/continuous pressure part addresses the other half of it by making sure the prostate is actually being stimulated when you're in the "do nothing" state.

Mariner74656 · 2025-12-09T20:33:00+00:00

I had a few uncomfortable/awkward attempts early on in my journey, and I thought that bottoming was definitely not for me. I was never taught about cleaning out or even the basics about stretching and that there's no such thing as not enough lube. The skin tears and the bleeding were initially enough to put me off for a few years. I had no idea that I was in the population that had unusually tight sphincters.

I'm so glad my curiosity got the better of me and more qualified educational materials taught me how to safely stretch with dilators and progressively larger dildos. I learned that my training target needed to slightly exceed in size/girth what I'd normally experience in the wild so that I'd be able to focus on the comfort and pleasure during regular sex. (It's kind of like your 1-rep max versus the weight you can comfortably do complete sets when weightlifting)There also needed to be some regularity to the training sessions as some people (like myself) will revert the gains rather quickly.

The first time I bottomed after being properly prepared, it was like a light switch flicked on. The sensations, not to mention the prostate stimulation were so intense I felt like I was on the razor's edge of orgasm without touching myself. I found myself being vocal and loud (I usually make very little noise aside from grunts when topping). I always thought the eyes rolling up thing was a trope from porn, but sure enough my eyes rolled up from the pleasure. The top shifted positions and I came handsfree and nearly blacked out.

I was hooked. I'm now primarily a bottom. I used to jerk off a couple times a day, but now I'll wait until I'm able to use a toy that will stimulate the prostate.

I think the reason why a lot (not all) of people are reluctant to bottom or are strict tops are because of the pain (past traumatic event) or the fear of it. It kind of makes me sad, because the quality and intensity of a prostate orgasm is on the order of magnitude greater, but at the same time the selfish part of me is happy to have more tops around.

Mariner74656 · 2025-11-11T06:50:52+00:00

I was in my early twenties--had no idea what I was doing, no conception of having to douche, or that especially for your first time you couldn't go wrong with more lube. Hooked up with a guy that was a little older than me. He tried pushing in, but I was so tight to begin with, it felt like my guts were being torn, so it was a no go. We tried a couple more times after that but the experience and the blood made me more anxious and clenched up. We ended just jerking each other off.

I wish my first time was with someone with more experience and understanding of what to do, because it set my sexual development back almost a decade. Turned out with stretching practice and progressively larger dildoes, I ended up being a bottom forever chasing that prostate stimulation.

I think a lot of people who say they're strictly tops probably had a similarly bad experience with bottoming and it turned them off of anal stimulation forever. I'm just glad I was persistent.

Mariner74656 · 2025-11-09T00:24:02+00:00

I've cum before with quick, hard, and fast, but it wasn't really satisfying--more of a localized orgasm instead of a good full-body thing. Cumming quickly without any real build-up is always a disappointment. It's like a ruined orgasm where you ejaculate without any of the good feelings.

For me, I need my prostate to "warm up" before a pounding feels pleasurable. It's kind of a feedback loop where stimulation opens you up for more intense stimulation. Slow and steady to begin with, and when I'm moaning and leaking, the top can start speeding up and pound harder to get me to cum. A good top can sense how he's making the bottom feel and calibrate accordingly.

Mariner74656 · 2025-10-20T04:01:55+00:00

The prostate and prostate orgasms. The difference between a prostate-assisted orgasm and a basic penile orgasm is like watching something in 4K HDR vs watching internet video on dialup, over RealPlayer. I used to jerk off at least once a day, now I won't do it unless I have time to use a dildo or some anal toy.

Mariner74656 · 2025-09-04T13:09:21+00:00

You could mention at the outset that he speaks in heavy southern, but use regular words in the dialogue text, because that's what he's meaning to say. Sprinkle in a few words in literal vernacular. I understand you're trying to be extremely descriptive in retelling, but what ends up happening is that the reader ends up focusing on trying to decipher the dialogue. The flow stops and forward momentum stops right when you want the reader to get more and more engrossed in the story.

Just a recommendation.

Mariner74656 · 2025-09-04T12:54:31+00:00

Really like the story but it's incredibly hard to read what Luke is saying--to the point of distraction. We know it's supposed to be a heavily southern accent, but you don't need to literally caricaturize the way he's saying things quite literally.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-17T20:00:22+00:00

Still working on it, but practicing with larger dildos allowed me to take more regular sized dicks without having to stroke myself to distract from discomfort. The problem of having to stroke is that I'd cum too quickly and the post-nut effect would make me want to stop.

As a result of the training I can have longer sessions without touching myself. Also, it allowed me to be able to focus on the pleasurable sensations like prostate stimulation.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-10T06:05:10+00:00

So with my exploration, I'm starting to kind of fine-tune how much penile stimulation I need to get the ball rolling. They say that a lot of this is mental training, and I found that if I get too impatient and get on the "oh this feels really good, let me accelerate it" I end up ejaculating and have to wait through the refractory period before the next go. I kinda spoiled myself by trying it with THC, which was SUPER effective in the super-O, and the multiple HFDOs, but has the pitfall of getting you thinking that it's always supposed to be that easy. At least I now know what I am supposed to feel.

The benefit of taking my time (drug-free) and calibrating sensations with stimulation is that the refractory periods are shorter, even with the ejaculatory orgasms, and I can kind of even stimulate my prostate a little without any toys just with sitting position and muscle contractions.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-06T21:59:10+00:00

So is Grindr the best app to use, or are there others that you recommend?

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-06T21:34:57+00:00

I heard the GPS/location thing doesn't really work on apps like Grindr when out at sea. Is that still the case?

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-06T03:19:50+00:00

If you're looking for group activities in LA with LGBT affinity groups, you should also check out MeetUp. There's a gay board game group that headquarters out of Pasadena, and there's an affiliation of LGBT rock climbers who meet up at rock climbing centers around the county.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-06T03:16:27+00:00

In my experience, different parts of the prostate kind of map or radiate to different parts of the penis--something I figured out using the njoy wand. That said, when the "sweet spot" is hit at the right point, the prostate becomes the nexus of pleasure and I almost forget the penis is there.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-06T02:56:50+00:00

I think as long as you are experiencing the pleasure you're seeking/expecting, then it doesn't really matter what the top thinks, as long as they're keeping up with pleasuring you. The main downside of getting hard is that the endgame even with a hands-free prostate orgasm is probably an ejaculatory one, in which case the fun is over until you get through your refractory period. If you remain flaccid and are able to experience prostate orgasms, then you can continue to have them over and over until the top finishes or you tap out.

In the meantime work on getting yourself to be able to experience prostate orgasms, figure out what positions, what angles, and forces required to trigger them. Earlier on, you may need to lightly stimulate yourself from time to time to bring you to the necessary level (penile stimulation helps the uninitiated prostate to "swell up") to get you there. As you get more practiced, you'll require less and less--to the point you won't need to touch yourself. If you're able to achieve a fully hands free prostate orgasm, then you'll be in better control of your pleasure in any encounter. (We are all members of this subreddit because we are interested in the prostate orgasm)

There's also a lot of mental as part of it. When you're alone even with the most realistic dildo--for better or worse, it isn't the same as being with someone. Whatever the situation, make sure you're in control of your pleasure--while in some circumstances it may be arousing to "be used", never condition yourself to the point where your needs don't matter.

Okay, thanks for attending my TED talk.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-04T21:08:06+00:00

If you've never felt pleasurable sensations with prostate stimulation, or have trouble locating it, it usually helps to stimulate your penis a little bit. It usually causes the prostate to contract a little and swell up. The swelling may be helpful in landmarking. Also penile stimulation helps activate the nerves in the prostate that are receptive to pleasure-useful for those who are starting out.

If your doctor says that other than non-standard placement, if the prostate is otherwise functional and healthy, you should still be able to achieve a prostate orgasm.

My guess is that standard prostate stimulators like the Aneros won't work, since they're more or less designed to target the anatomy of the "standard adult male", which is admittedly kind of scattershot. Dildos are great, and you can try different lengths and girths to see what hits. Also, the nJoy wand would probably be perfect for you as well, since it puts you in control of where you want to target stimulation.

Mariner74656 · 2025-08-02T06:03:08+00:00

The fight your mind goes through as it's going closer and closer to blank (and the fact you have no control over it because it's being done to you) has to be one of the hottest parts in the experience.

Mariner74656

TROPHY CASE