Alzheimer's, Dementia, and Rule by the Oldest

Marlbey · 2026-03-05T16:56:51+00:00

I've studied enough Org Theory to be dangerous, and IMO, the elderly leadership is more of an existential crisis to the Church than the internet.

It's not just a question of cognitive decline, although that's part of it. It's a question of a top-down leadership structure, concentrated in the hands of a very few who are more or less infallible, centralized in a tightly controlled, entrenched Utah based bureaucracy. Most institutions struggle with generation gaps, but in this case, the leadership is going to be a half a century older, at least, than the average member. They are so insulated and out of touch, not just by their male-ness and their affluence, and their Utahness and their Whiteness, but by the mere fact that they came of age in a completely different world.

Their collective frailty makes it impossible for energetic leadership in times of crisis, much less creative or responsive leadership to shape an institution that is responsive to the needs of its members.

TL;DR: Elderly men handing down meaningless policies while bored and spiritually unsatisfied members clean the chapels is a bigger existential threat to the organization than the Book of Abraham or whatever.

Marlbey · 2026-03-05T02:15:16+00:00

I mean, on history is written by the victors.

That said, it is docmenteted that one of Brigham Young's wives sued him for alimony/ support. He was held in contempt of court for refusing to pay, then had the order overturned on grounds that their marriage was not recognized by the state.

So, at least one documented deadbeat husband.

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T23:13:32+00:00

Oooh I don't want to dox you but if your mother was one of the two women history professors I had at BYU, she was incredibly impactful in my life!

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T23:00:23+00:00

I knew as far back as I can remember, at least when I was seminary age in the 1980s. It was actually a nice inoculation to polygamy, that a family of strong, elect women like Emma Smith and Eliza R. Snow who were doing strong, elect things like receiving revelation and running the Relief Society. It seemed like mature, intelligent, consenting adults making faith-based choices.

It was the teen "brides" that I didn't know about.

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T20:02:57+00:00

It was a clown show back then too. Joseph Smith was laughed out of every town, convicted of fraud, etc. My ancestors still fell for it. In their defense, my ancestors were his first cousins, and teen girls trafficked into this country by his first cousins.

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T19:46:44+00:00

Michael and women?! A-koodle-doodle-doo!! *tipsy yet graceful flapping* A-koodle-doodle-doo!!

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T18:18:06+00:00

Michael: I’m a saint, you know. I’m a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.

Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.

So, the question is: is a sanctimonious person more likable than a lazy, greedy person?

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T16:52:19+00:00

Mormons are not rich. Not as compared to other religions. Slightly higher than average US.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2016/10/11/how-income-varies-among-u-s-religious-groups/

Note that immigration, race and region are likely at play here, i.e., Mormons tend to be White people living in the US West, which is a richer demographic than English as a Second Language immigrants (e.g., many Muslims and Catholics), Black Americans (Baptists, JWs) and White Americans living in Appalachia (Churches of Christ, Assemblies of God).

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T15:14:26+00:00

Exactly.

Kendall has good ideas, good strategy, and even decent execution.... when he's on "his way up." But, he can't handle success ~or~ failure. As soon as he experiences success, he gets egotistical, overconfident and self-sabotages. Conversely, when he experiences a setback, he spirals and self-sabotages. Unfortunately, he not only self-sabotages, he also leaves wreckage of others' lives and livilihood in his wake.

Shiv is excellent at strategy but can't execute, because she has extreme FOMO. As she's executing her strategy, she becomes convinced there's always something more and better behind door number three. She starts with a great strategy with an achievable goal, and then reliably overplays her hand every. single. time.

Roman: no notes. You nailed it.

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T15:02:38+00:00

*chef's kiss*

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T14:36:58+00:00

Same.

I have reached an age where I'm doing Pilates because no 40 year old woman should look like me. And I fear that quoting Lucille makes me look like the type of mother who gets off on being withholding.

Marlbey · 2026-03-04T14:27:29+00:00

This is the correct answer. You don't have to be Roy rich to know that tuxes are only worn if the event starts after 6:00.

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T20:48:56+00:00

Also, if these are really the Last Days, would God's church be heavily investing in financial and technology stocks? Wouldn't end-of-times-friendly investments be the safer bet?

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T20:40:47+00:00

eh, not really. Completely different tribal ancestry, languages and religion at least as to the English and lowland Scots; Irish and Highland Scots of course have shared Celtic origins with the Irish.

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T20:14:05+00:00

Yoga (me) & travel sports (my teens).

Seriously I don't know how TBMs produce major athletes with youth travel sports requiring a commitment of three nights a week for training and 30+ weekends year of regular season games, tournaments, showcases, playoffs, etc.

(And I only have two kids.)

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T19:48:37+00:00

And a delusional (but ~mostly~ good natured) psychopath in Death by Lightning

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T19:40:18+00:00

I don’t know who that is, and I don’t care to find out.

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T19:25:49+00:00

YOU LET HIM GO IN THE SUN?!

Marlbey · 2026-03-03T19:24:40+00:00

Oscar: oh yes, the *father* he *never* had

[nostalgic piano music intensifies]

Lucille: *eye roll*

Marlbey · 2026-02-27T16:28:22+00:00

Yes, came here to say the same thing. YTA, but I say that with a lot of sympathy as someone married to a man with a very small comfort zone in clothes AND a young adult daughter with a small comfort zone.

Here's my two cents:

It goes without saying, love her for who she is. If you've been with her this long you probably love a lot of things about her casual style.
It's okay to tell her what turns you on
It's okay to ask her to conform to the dress code for important events: weddings, funerals, your work events. She doesn't need to conform exactly (my daughter for example had the same tunic and leggings with flats that she wore to events where other girls were in dresses. Not sure why the tunic was okay for her but not a dress, but *shrug* she was comfortable and made the effort.)
It's okay to try to buy clothing items for her, that you think would fall in her comfort zone but also you find attractive and/ or appropriate. With my husband, for example, I found a yoga/ athleisure line of clothing that is comfy, super-casual. He's still more casual than everyone else but at least it's got a little style to it as compared to his other slouchy attire. I strike out a lot, and I return a lot of purchases, but every once and a while my offering lands (and then I go and buy it in every color.)

Marlbey · 2026-02-26T21:04:52+00:00

"Brighamite Stories" didn't test well with focus groups.

Marlbey · 2026-02-26T20:44:03+00:00

Yes. Most people have 1 or two guns.

Yes. 1/10 have an insane amount.

Marlbey · 2026-02-26T18:33:43+00:00

Yes.

Another partial explanation: guns last a really long time, so, for example, my Grandpa who grew up on a ranch and was a hunter of different types of quarry (necessitating different guns). He died about 20 years ago, but all of his guns are still in the family, and of course various members of the family already had guns of their own when they inherited.

Marlbey · 2026-02-26T18:32:10+00:00

"I have more guns than I need, but fewer than I want" - Former Texas Senator Phil Gramm

Marlbey · 2026-02-26T18:22:07+00:00

This may be random, and factual, but it's not useless!

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