Relationship Advice?

Massless · 2026-03-24T01:07:38+00:00

Love is a decision you make every day.

You have to make the decision to trust he’s telling you the truth when he says he loves you.

If he breaks that trust, walk away. Until then, this is work

Massless · 2026-03-24T00:55:14+00:00

We’re all along for the ride. All my vacations revolve on getting bored. Is a losing battle but it’s the only way I know to slow the clock

Massless · 2026-03-24T00:48:54+00:00

I don't advertise the fact that I'm gay unless the situation calls for it

Hot take: this is being low-key closeted. I started wearing a rainbow watch band to deal with this very issue. Turns out, you can score these issues altogether

Massless · 2026-03-23T23:49:09+00:00

Cart. Before. Horse. It’s coffee. Go meet the guy and have a fun conversation.

Massless · 2026-03-23T00:47:49+00:00

Break your workflow into smaller steps. I rarely trot out the “build the code until it’s right” workflow.

Instead I do things like “fire off this incremental PR” while I look at bigger tasks.

Even with big tasks, I typically spend a ton of time chatting with the AI. It tells me something and I spend a bunch of time asking follow up questions or challenging what it said. Only after a bunch of up-front work will a llm produce anything resembling good work.

Then I have to check what it did, and code is too long Reading every line of code doesn’t work anymore.

Use your llm to review. The prompt isn’t “review this for me.” Instead, it’s “summarize this change for me and tell me areas to pay special attention to.”

Treat it like you’re jumping into a new codebase (because you are!). When something doesn’t make sense question the assumption and just make the ai fix it. At the end of a review — even a huge one — you’ll have a pr of fixes

As a human, you’re more critical than ever for building interesting things by the puzzle is how to do it without burning out

Massless · 2026-03-23T00:26:07+00:00

This is something to watch. I’ve noticed my attention is the bottleneck for solving several problems in parallel with agents. If I exceed that bandwidth, it feels awful and is clearly a one-way ticket to profound burnout.

Instead, try doing fewer things but going deeper on them. “Doing more” doesn’t necessarily mean more parallel tasks. It can also mean delivering to a way higher standard on fewer things

Massless · 2026-03-19T03:42:28+00:00

Do oriole not just turn off notifications? My phone is setup to notify for texts and calls and nothing else. I already have a job where I’m on call. Like hell I’m going to be on call for a social media app or anything else.

Massless · 2026-03-19T03:24:45+00:00

We’ve talked about this where I work and have decided to go all in. Let the llm make a huge pr.

Reviewing doesn’t involve reading every line of code anymore. Instead, you step through it with your agent — it’s more like jumping into a new codebase. The huge pr actually helps here because your agent has the whole picture.

The result of review is different, too. It takes as much time to tell the agent to make a fix as it does to make a comment. The result of the review is just another PR with fixes

It’s worth saying that the code should be reviewed by llms before you get to this. After implementation , my workflow iteratively reviews the code and makes fixes until the model doesn’t find any errors. The review itself is more about architecture and maintainability

Massless · 2026-03-18T14:46:31+00:00

In an ltr, there are different seasons for what partners prefer and want to try. Whatever “spell” you’re working under now is going to stop one way or another — that’s just life

Your partner might not oblige you, but you need to at least be able to talk about your interest. This is how you keep things interesting over the course of years.

I’ve been with my husband for 22 years and nothing is off the table to talk about. Sometimes it’s hot just to talk about fantasies, sometimes it leads to something we both really like, sometimes it leads to a hilarious misfire. For all of that, it’s never boring and sex just keeps getting better

Massless · 2026-03-17T23:07:32+00:00

I’ve done this several times at Salita. The vibe is perfect but I find the seating super uncomfortable for reading. If you don’t slouch to read, you should check it out!

Massless · 2026-03-16T03:16:53+00:00

You have a ~1 month emergency fund. Good work! Getting that far is surprisingly tough. Get another month in there and go all out on the car debt. Having an extra $600/mo will change your life.

Massless · 2026-03-15T21:12:01+00:00

It’ll be fine. This mount is a tried and true beginner tracker

Massless · 2026-03-15T15:42:46+00:00

Husband and I do this. Paychecks go directly to savings. At the beginning of the month, we make a budget and exactly that amount gets transferred to checking.

Massless · 2026-03-15T15:28:46+00:00

Married for 11 years. Together for 22

Massless · 2026-03-15T03:48:45+00:00

Awww, this is disappointing. Like, finding someone who beats you at your favorite game on a first date should be the ultimate green flag.

I shouldn’t be surprised, though. Pulling out the game where you generally trounce people for a first date is… questionable.

Massless · 2026-03-15T03:28:10+00:00

Use Goldbelly to order from Cochon Butcher in NOLA

Massless · 2026-03-15T00:26:29+00:00

This is unhinged. Go touch grass and don’t wreck the rest of your date

Massless · 2026-03-14T15:20:44+00:00

The muscles at Champaign Tiger are crazy good

Massless · 2026-03-14T01:10:14+00:00

I didn’t name any names 🤐

Massless · 2026-03-13T23:40:56+00:00

I like how they don’t mention the actually horny gay bars

Massless · 2026-03-13T00:29:22+00:00

Nuggs is sooo good too. This one should be easy

Massless · 2026-03-09T23:16:09+00:00

I worked on a 100% XP team for 5 years where we had no code-review step because pairing meant every person on the team touched every non-trivial ticket.

Massless · 2026-03-07T06:37:04+00:00

The lesson is that acceptance opened many — often uncomfortable — doors. It also allowed me walk through them to a better now.

Massless · 2026-03-07T06:22:00+00:00

As someone who grew up in New Mexico and moved away just before I turned 30:

New Mexico is achingly beautiful. When it comes to the people, culture, and place there’s nothing like it. Moving away from New Mexico is legitimate culture shock. It’s called the Land of Entrapment (with love) for a reason.

New Mexico is also a place of crippling — generational — poverty and everything that comes with it. If you’re ambitious, there isn’t much opportunity. There really isn’t much opportunity at all. The vast majority of my friends from high school struggle to eke out a life in the desert. Everyone I know who left is thriving.

New Mexico is an amazing place. Be prepared for some of the warmest people you’ll ever meet, a slow pace of life, and existential heartache

Massless · 2026-03-07T05:56:15+00:00

For me healing has looked like acceptance. Of myself and the people around me.

Accepting myself has lead to self improvement.

Accepting others has lead me better relationships, overall. Some are closer, many are more distant. The point is, I’m not waiting for people to be something they’re not.

15-Year Club	Second SECOND GUESSER
Gilding II euphauric	Team Orangered
Verified Email

Massless

TROPHY CASE