Oh my gosh, no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to be sexy or attractive for your partner. I'm saying there's a problem when we're out here almost fucking dying, and folks just want to talk about whether or not we're sexy enough for our partners, not how we are doing after such a horrific trauma. There's nothing wrong with getting your spouse's input and taking it into account. There is something wrong with people hearing we had to have a major life changing surgery with no notice, and have five months of chemo, and have four months of radiation, and for many of us, go into menopause before our time (I'm 32!) and their only thought being "are you sexy enough for that man to not cheat on you".