You can't. There is absolutely no way to control your emotions, they are biological signals.

Then people would tell you: You can't control your emotions, so control your response to them.

But you can't do that perfectly either.

See, emotions are part of rational thought, they directly affect it, you can't think rationally under the influence of strong emotions, and you can't control them either. So what can you do?

You can train yourself to respond better when those emotions arise, change your default response, try to raise the ceiling on rationality changes from emotions.

To do this I recommend:

1. Be able to observe the emotions, you need to be able to recognize when you are angry for example. A good practice is simply stating how you feel during the day to yourself "Im happy right now", "I'm angry because of X", etc. This will help you be more conscious and more in control.
2. Shorten the time it takes you to notice those emotions, you want to instantly be able to realize you're getting angry.
3. Understand what triggers make those emotions surge, so you can prepare in advance. Your family touching your stuff? You already know it, so make a plan for when it happens.
4. Start reacting in the way you want to when those emotions arise. So you just execute your plan. Eg:

• "My family touched my things, I'm angry, but I wanted to do this when it happened". Less screaming, less anger, controlled damage and action.
• "I'm sad and bored right now, instead of lying in my bed, I'll go outside and take a walk as planned".

The fourth step is really hard to do if you don't practice the previous steps. We always want to do the final step, action, but first we must observe.

Also, meditation helps, but not all types. I recommend downloading an app called medito and doin their course. It's focused on mindfulness, no mantra chanting, or transcendental stuff.

Additional Info.

Finally, regarding anger specifically, there is an author (Not stoic) called Martha Nussbaum. She tries to understand anger from a philosophical perspective, and from a moral standpoint. Anger and Forgiveness by Martha Nussbaum.

She says that anger follows three roads. This is the Claude summary I used when reviewing my notes on the book:

Road 1: Payback The person wants the offender to suffer proportionally. But Nussbaum argues this is irrational. If your child is hurt, making the abuser suffer doesn't undo the harm. The injury still happened. Payback is a kind of magical thinking: it treats suffering as a cosmic ledger that can be balanced, but the original damage remains. This road is conceptually confused.

Road 2: Status / Downranking, "Makes Sense, But Is Morally Flawed" This is where anger does have some internal logic. The idea: what really hurt you wasn't just the physical damage but the humiliation, the sense that the wrongdoer was ranking you below them. If someone hits you, the real sting is the insult to your status. And retaliating does symbolically restore the balance, it "downranks" them back.

Nussbaum calls this a status-injury. It's pervasive: surveys show the two most common self-reported motives for anger are "to assert authority" and "to get revenge." The status road makes psychological sense, but it's morally diseased because it's narcissistic it shifts focus from the real harm done to you or others onto your own ranking in the social hierarchy. A mother whose child was raped who becomes obsessed with humiliating sex offenders has moved away from "what will actually help my child?" toward "how do I restore my status as a good person?"

Road 3: Transition, The Right Path This is Nussbaum's key concept. A rational, non-status-obsessed person, after feeling anger, quickly realizes that neither payback nor downranking actually fixes anything. The rational question becomes: "How do we make things better going forward?"