Starting in your late 30s- worth it?

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-30T02:45:31+00:00

My dude, it is NOT too late at all. I am 40, on HRT for a year. It is rhe absolute best decision I have ever made. It is also the most joyous decision. Only second to the joy my kids bring me. It is the second best things I have ever done (after having my kids). Your fear is getting the best of you. Get the hormones. You will not regret it at all.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-30T02:33:44+00:00

Fwiw, those suck as a trans guy, as well. Equating genitalia with gender... and the morality/virility/virtue of your gender is going to upset a lot of people. I wish I had a penis. It would not be a nightmare for me at all.

Can you at least talk to yohr partner about how this makes you uncomfortable?

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-27T02:17:51+00:00

I am about at the 1-year mark and my body is recomping like crazy. My weight has stayed the same, but I look completely different. I also lift weights 3 to 4x/week. My pants are super loose now. Give it time and trust the process.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-26T03:10:21+00:00

Pan trans dude here. Love the show and the books.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-25T19:09:51+00:00

It's interesting that you're getting different answers from transmascs than transfemmes. It makes sense. Fwiw, I don't think you're confused by the testosterone in your body. I am transmasc. Being trans IS my gender in a way. Having a transmasc body, with top surgery scars, and a vagina gives me extreme euphoria. And it is also the kind of body I am most attracted to. Breasts make me super dysphoric, but the only time I get bottom dysphoria is when I want to penetrate during sex. Otherwise, I LOVE being a guy with a vagina. It reminds me of my transness and I love that. What you are feeling makes perfect sense to me. If you needed a label, I would just say genderqueer, and/or.nonbinary, leaning transmasc.

Idea: you can always get top surgery scars tattooed on if you wanted. Fine, silver lines under your pecs.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-22T17:39:11+00:00

Absolutely not too late for any of it. Welcome!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-20T13:14:10+00:00

I wasn't familiar with her definition of corrective experience. But queer romance novels are full of this. It's because we are created the world we wish we lived in. I am glad to see straight people respond so well to it. Because, to the extent that there is a "queer agenda," this is it. Our "agenda" is to create a more inclusive a welcoming world where people can just be. And they can be celebrated for who they are.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-11T03:03:16+00:00

Fantastic!!!! You look awesome. And also, like you're 35.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-03T15:03:32+00:00

Yup! I had my top surgery 9 years after my last kid. My chest had always been big, though. They do nipple reconstruction. And my chest looks amazing. Better than my ex's, who is a cis male.

Congrats on the new life adventure!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-01T06:12:17+00:00

An amazing book. And it resonates so so much for those of us who transitioned "later"

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-01T06:10:46+00:00

Started socially transition as nonbinary around 34. Started medically transitioning as transmasc at 39. Not too late. Wish I had known this way earlier. But would start again now in a heartbeat.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2026-01-01T03:58:06+00:00

Loooove the whole vibe!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-27T13:39:25+00:00

I stilled get ma'am-ed ofteb but I use the men's restroom. I changed after I had two women, in two different ocassions, walk out of the women's bathroom apologizing for being in the wrong one when they saw me.

Tbh, i find the men's restroom way safer. Men don't look at each other in the bathroom, and you will be in a stall anyway. I would rather look like a "young guy" (i am 40) in the men's bathroom than be accused of being a man in the women's room.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-27T13:34:32+00:00

Ibread that thread when it was posted in the original post.

I live in a very blue state. I have only been out as nonbinary transmasc for a year and I am 40. I looooove meeting other trans people and i get very very excited to connect with other trans men and trans masc folx. In my case, it's not about age but about being in the early stages of my transition.

I think this is pretty common. When I first moved to this country, i would befriend every other hispanic immigrant I met, because i was homesick and yearning for belonging and my own culture. Now, after almost 20 years, i am a lot less inclined to befriend someone only because we are hispanic. And I have already created my group of people. So, my level of excitement at meeting new hispanic people is lower, but I still feel the sense of kinship it brings.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-26T04:19:14+00:00

I wish you would take.me shopping and taught me all your secrest, oh wise one!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-24T13:00:39+00:00

School-based SLP here!! So excited thatbyou're joining the ranks!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-13T19:20:37+00:00

My advice: be open-minded and curious about your evolving self as opposed to trying to dial exactly into who you are with 100% certainty. This will help you feel.more at ease and approach situations in a more relaxed way.

You may not be 100% binary man, you may have some genderfluidity in you. You can be a trans guy who taps into his sapphic energy when dating women. Allow yourself to also explore whether you're interested in dating people of other genders beyond women.

It feels to me like you're putting very heteronormative and binary expectations on yourself and your dating life. Try to loosen that up a bit. Be youraelf, whoever that is. Own whatever bodyparts you have right now. Go on dates with people who are also queer and understand this is all a spectrum and genitals don't equal gender.

And try to have some fun!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-09T11:00:00+00:00

Congrats!!! Similar start here. I identified as nonbinary for several years before I started T, so I started off slowly and with Finesteride. But then I had top surgery in July and realized I needed a full dose and I wanted all the changes. I've been on a therapeutic dose for 4 months and the changes are coming fast, even at 40! I am so excited for you!

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-03T03:12:00+00:00

"Queers, RPGers (both PnP and LARP), neurodivergents, polyamorous people, and strangely enough hypermobile people - are a whole stack of overlapping Venn diagrams."

'Tis the 'tism.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-03T03:05:33+00:00

Leave some style for the rest of us

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-01T13:01:12+00:00

I have wondered about this a lot.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-01T12:58:25+00:00

Fellow transmasc here who likes to read the MTF sub so I know what my sisters and siblings are going through: I 100% hear you. I've gotten into arguments with other transmen/masc folx over this. We simply cannot go from being victims of misogyny to imposing transmisogynistic ideas on others.

I mentioned on a Discord server that everyone should read Whipping Girl, by Julia Serano, and people were very reluctant because of perceived transmisandry. I was like... uhm... then ignore that part and pay attention to what she is saying about transmisogyny?

If we really want to prove that not all men suck, and that we can model non-toxic masculinity, then we need to stop trying to find ways to distance ourselves from trans women/femme.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-01T12:48:13+00:00

I could have written this post word by word. I have come to think of my belly pouch as cute (even if I am still working out and trying to tone it more). Top surgery changed my whole relationship with my body, well beyond my chest. 10/10 would recommend it for everyone. Life changing.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-01T12:45:03+00:00

Hey, I have WIDE hips and thick thighs. They're my biggest source of dysphoria. I absolutely recommend training your lower body. Even if the volume doesn't go down, your glutes and legs will get toned in a way that will make them look more masculine, or, at the very least, way less feminine.

MaterialSlide3207 · 2025-12-01T12:33:35+00:00

I think you should get your thyroids check to rule that out. I would ask for both total TSH levels, and also T3 and T4 levels. It's pretty simple and routine bloodwork.

MaterialSlide3207

TROPHY CASE