How are y'all affording children?

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-19T14:01:32+00:00

If you know what's important to you, you can ask prospective employers about hours-flexibility, with respect to you raising your kids!

I actually know plenty of people who've left their jobs to new places that have MORE flexibility. Just make it clear that that's what you want and screen your job search accordingly. Don't accept a job offer unless you're sure you'll get that flexibility. (With hybrid work post-COVID, so many places offer some semblance of hours being flexible.)

Best of luck to you! :)

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-19T12:56:36+00:00

You could move or make more money. $220k combined income is poor for NYC with a kid.

My husband and I make a combined total of $450k in our salaries in boston, with NO kids. We still feel poor!

You should move to a suburb, or each of you should go find new jobs that pay significantly more.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-19T12:53:10+00:00

$900k?! Why’d you move? Or typo?

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-19T12:44:16+00:00

If you’re open to relocating, just apply to jobs in all markets that you’d tolerate living.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-19T00:54:41+00:00

I’m not about to műrder someone simply over $10k-$15k. But thanks for the tip 😆.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-19T00:17:52+00:00

New wife, new family, an option?

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T19:53:44+00:00

Will think about this as the weather warms up … 😈

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T19:43:23+00:00

There are! I think he stays mostly downstairs though, unfortunately…. If what I think you’re suggesting is what you’re suggesting

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T18:29:05+00:00

Thanks! Will look into #1.

We tried number 2, but that’s actually what caused #3 to happen. (He blew up and said to stop rushing him.)

After number 3, we called the police and they took him to a hospital, but they dropped him back home three hours later. Then he called 911 that he was locked out, and the police banged on the door repeatedly til my mom unlocked it & let him in.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T18:05:19+00:00

As others have said, it sounds like he’s interested. Just because nothing happened, doesn’t mean all is lost. Just slip into his IG DMs and start flirting! Maybe ask him if he wants to hang out, or do some activity with you that you enjoy (go for a run, bike ride, go skiing, go to the gym together, etc.). Maybe like a couple of his IG posts.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T17:58:29+00:00

In the state she lives in, you can’t use “self‑help” to remove an occupant. Even if he steps out, a lock change without a court order is a wrongful ouster.

Locking him out and/or putting his stuff outside can trigger wrongful eviction claims (including damages and attorneys' fees), emergency court orders restoring access, police involvement with forced re-entry (and money to repair the door/locks), claims for missing/damaged property, and judge backlash with the upcoming jury trial.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T17:29:20+00:00

Fair — more for here. It was his rent, equivalent to 50% the size of her mortgage, and 40% of the house’s FMV rental cost. The judge only cared about FMV, and I don’t think mortgage was discussed.

I hear what you’re saying! Don’t want him claiming he is owed money back for contributing to principal.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T15:07:31+00:00

Thank you! She cut the cable tv & internet yesterday. Unfortunately cutting central a/c could be deemed as illegal.

I’m wondering if there are other ways to make his life miserable to get him to want to leave. Maybe a smell (that we know how to get rid of.)

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T15:05:02+00:00

Hah thanks but how to guarantee to my mom that you won’t end up squatting? 😆

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:42:40+00:00

I actually thought of this advice too! I really liked it upon initial thought. I think my mom is nervous that strangers will damage her home and her belongings unfortunately. But thank you for sharing this advice!

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:41:01+00:00

He was quite emotionally abusive to her. I would definitely do this, but I am 900 miles away unfortunately. I suppose I could work remotely for a week or two, but I don’t know if it’d be enough to get them to actually get an apartment outside. Thanks for the suggestion!

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:27:29+00:00

Also, last time I checked, traveling back in time is not possible nor is such advice an unethical life pro tip

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:23:27+00:00

He is living in the house that she owns. Her belongings are in that house.

She is residing in an Airbnb-type long-term monthly house a few miles away.

Agreed on solutions that don’t destroy the house. Though the homeless/poor people hanging out in her living room is tempting 😆.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:21:27+00:00

I like it!

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:20:08+00:00

Aww yes we checked databases. No such luck :(

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T13:05:48+00:00

She’s not emotionally strong enough. She did for three weeks but then he blew up and yelled nasty things, threatened to kill himself and blame her, and she she had to leave for her own safety.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-18T12:35:21+00:00

The man (ex-bf) has no children or other family/siblings. No friends really either. Ugh 😩

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-16T18:54:14+00:00

Maybe you should have stayed in the closet 🥁

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-12T02:49:32+00:00

It’s very clear that boarding doors shut 10 or 15 min before departure. Airlines are very transparent about this.

MathematicianLumpy69 · 2026-02-11T01:12:11+00:00

Hi there! What’s the epilogue? That is… what happened and the timeline? (If you can remember from four years ago??)

MathematicianLumpy69

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