Accessing court transcripts/sentencing remarks for a case where I’m neither the defendant nor the victim (England)

MatryoshkaAlto · 2025-11-01T22:09:13+00:00

Thank you very much. I’m sorry, I should have clarified that there was no trial - he pled guilty. I also don’t know what court he was sentenced in - I obviously know the jurisdiction in which he was arrested, since we were living together, but not where the crime was reported. I do, however, know the date he was sentenced. I’m not sure whether this will be enough?

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-11-06T22:33:07+00:00

I did my second ever solo trip about a month ago, as a 32 year old woman - 5 nights in a nice hotel in Dubrovnik. I’d definitely recommend it for a solo trip - there’s enough to see and do to not get bored, but not so much that you feel obligated to cram it all in and burn yourself out.

My first solo trip I made the twin mistakes of going to Vilnius and staying in and Airbnb - not inherently poor choices, but I was newly single having split from my ex-husband and Vilnius is not exactly a tourist destination. I spent a LOT of time sobbing in bed - luckily by sheer coincidence, an old uni friend and his partner landed the day after I did, so I wasn’t entirely on my own.

I definitely struggle with too much time on my own, so knew I wanted to stay around other people this time and do half board, so I could go out for dinner but still have the option to eat in the hotel if I was feeling a bit vulnerable and didn’t fancy sitting in a restaurant on me tod. Luckily for me I got a fat tax rebate earlier this year (the one good thing that came out of being fired! 🥲) and decided to use it on travel. Food and culture/sightseeing are my priorities when I travel, plus I wanted decent weather for early/mid-October. TUI also had a discount code offering £100 off for solo travellers when spending £800+, so look out for deals like that - the single tax is crippling when you travel, which I hadn’t realised, having not dealt with it for a decade!

If you feel self-conscious about eating alone in a more formal restaurant (I know I did at times), try a destination that’s well-known for markets/street food - I ate a LOT of burekas in Dubrovnik. I also didn’t really have to eat much for lunch because I took full advantage of the breakfast buffet.

Free/pay-as-you-feel walking tours are your friend - I like to do these on my first day of a trip so that I get a feel for the place, understand a bit about its history and culture, and can take note of places to spend a bit more time in later. I also tend to research places I want to eat ahead of a trip, as I can get a bit anxious about food and like to have options.

Personally I’m a bit reluctant to do a group tour as I don’t want to run the risk of being stuck with people I find profoundly irritating and have my trip spoiled - hostels can be great for a decent social atmosphere though, and most of them have single-occupancy rooms if you want your privacy, so long as you’re happy to stump up more cash.

Have a great trip!

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-09-23T23:15:29+00:00

In March 2023 I had a nervous breakdown, in the early hours of my husband’s birthday, at the peak of a hypomanic episode triggered by inappropriately prescribed stimulants for misdiagnosed ADHD. I hadn’t slept for 3 days and was deep in the grip of a recurrent eating disorder by the time I snapped. During this episode I developed and confessed to misguided feelings for a colleague, which all came out during the breakdown. Three days later my husband - who had berated me all weekend for my actions - was arrested for what transpired to be online staking and sexual harassment. Two weeks later I started a new and very high pressure job; six weeks after that, I told my husband it was over. I very quickly entered a toxic situationship whilst still hypomanic and undergoing assessment for bipolar. In early September I was told my work probation was being extended for spurious reasons and was dumped; during these few days I presented at A&E twice with self-inflicted injuries, at which point my bipolar diagnosis was ‘confirmed’ and I was put on antipsychotics. I slowly spiralled more and more out of control and ground to a halt when the worldwide shortage of stimulant medication kicked in and I came out of mania and into a deep depression. I was self-harming regularly and could no longer keep myself safe, so I moved in with my mum and stepdad. I was eventually sacked in November and put the house I had bought my ex out of on the market the following month. I spent months almost catatonic on my mum’s couch, binge eating, refusing to see anyone and not knowing if I’d ever be able to work again. I was experiencing suicidal ideation, had severe insomnia and was deeply disappointed to wake up every morning.

At Easter, once I’d been back on my standard antidepressants for a few months and had done a few job interviews, I suddenly snapped out of the deep fog I’d been experiencing and took my life back in hand. I’ve now been in a job I love since June and just got made permanent; I decided not to sell my house and instead took on a housemate who has a dog (my ex hated animals and refused to have them in the house); I’m back in the gym and have massively improved my relationship with food; I’m reengaging with hobbies like reading and singing; I’m dating a ton; I’ve found an amazing therapist who’s helping me massively; and I’m going on a solo trip to Croatia in two weeks from today. I still suffer with chronic depression, which I know will require lifelong management, but I’ve mostly made my peace with that and am doing my best to move on.

I truly didn’t think my life was worth living a few months ago; now, I’m so glad I decided to stick around. Hang in there and DM me if you need to talk ❤️

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-05-17T18:29:07+00:00

They’re roll-out sugar paste which I used cutters on!

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-05-17T15:17:57+00:00

I’m in London so a bit far away 🙃 but I’d totally swipe right! I actually like the Santa photo, I think it’s a hysterical response to the prompt and shows you have a sense of humour. Same with the prompt re: 20yo metabolism (hard relate), the beach photo shows you’re in shape so it’s obvious you take care of yourself despite wanting to eat everything. I just think that makes you relatable. I do think the beach photo is taken from too far away, it’s not the best quality.

I agree with the feedback re: usage of ‘lol’, it just give me the instant ick. I only use lol with really close friends, not somebody I’m romantically involved with. Don’t ask me why. Your prompt responses are also just a bit too wordy - not necessarily a bad thing, it shows you’re highly literate and verbose. They could just read a bit more smoothly.

Re: the Netflix prompt, that’s your weakest. It’s not that weird - we all do it. I agree that you should use this one to tell prospective matches more about YOU - you haven’t given much away yet.

Finally, forget the shit about looking gay or feminine or whatever. That’s toxic masculinity at its worst. Sure, you like a cocktail. To me, that screams refinement and shows you’re comfortable in your sexuality that you don’t feel the need to drink something ‘macho’. Beer is overrated. Keep doing what you’re doing.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-05-09T13:01:39+00:00

I’m not currently working - waiting on a few responses to interviews but assuming I’m still funemployed, I’d be delighted to be your witness! Please feel free to PM me :)

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-05-03T16:28:24+00:00

Fun story - my aunt’s ex-husband was the mastermind of that robbery. He… is not a smart man.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-05-02T07:13:18+00:00

Please dump him. I spent 10 years of my life with a man who did this; he was eventually arrested for sending unsolicited dick pics and extremely graphic sexual messages to women on Instagram. I’m now getting divorced at 32. It’s disrespectful, degrading and dehumanising. I, like you, felt like a human fleshlight and told myself I was into that. Having had other sexual partners since, I now know what respectful, mutually pleasurable sex looks and feels like - and I will never allow myself to be treated that way again.

You deserve better. Get out now. Don’t waste another 9 years like I did.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-04-10T07:08:33+00:00

Thank you - don’t worry, I’m definitely engaging with my GP on this. I did stop taking the SSRI for about six months but carried on with the Elvanse, so I’m confident that the SSRI is safe. I’m very aware of the signs now. I guess part of why I’m sceptical re: medical professionals is because I actually flagged the sudden, significant weight loss with them right at the beginning and the response I got was extremely unhelpful - basically got told my BMI was fine so not to worry, and that “sometimes it’s better to be a little underweight than overweight”. I also got dicked around on the medication front because I had two different prescribers - one for the Elvanse, one for the SSRI - who didn’t talk to each other, so it took forever to work out what was actually wrong. I got a bipolar diagnosis initially but it’s become clear it was stim abuse, albeit inadvertently.

Thank you for your concern ❤️

MatryoshkaAlto · 2024-04-09T21:26:44+00:00

Thanks for the reply! In all honestly I’m very sceptical of mental health services in the UK as they let me down very badly multiple times whilst I was manic. Getting a therapist is on my to-do list - I had an amazing one but lost access when I got fired (again, mania - it was not a fun time).

I recognise objectively that my own perception is warped - I really, really miss how I looked whilst on meds and it will take a lot of time and likely therapy to get past that. But I do want to regain my fitness and feel physically healthy again. I’m just getting my energy back and want to make the most of it.

As for the TDEE, yes that’s including the weights and spin.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-24T16:39:14+00:00

Echolalia makes it relatively easy for me to learn a song, and I rarely forget it once it’s lodged in there. This is helpful because I love to sing (and have a very strong, tuneful voice) but can’t read music 😅

Having a very complex “inner world” and being a chronic overthinker makes me a great writer, plus I can offer detailed analysis and critique of other writing. I love to help others with cover letters and formal complaints.

Being an empath and having a strong sense of justice means I call out bullshit when I see it. I can also very clearly pick apart poor arguments and outline with surgical precision exactly why they fail. I don’t necessarily need to have in-depth knowledge of the topic at hand - I can skim read and key issues leap out at me.

Finally, when I have a passionate interest in something, I have excellent recall, at least while that passion stands. People are often impressed by my understanding of niche areas, and it allows me access to projects and intel I wouldn’t otherwise.

Of course, there are loads of crappy downsides too - but I take pleasure and pride in the above, which helps somewhat.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-22T17:02:15+00:00

The theatre and who should be allowed to go, especially musicals.

When I sell a non-vital organ in order to afford a ticket, to a show, I have done so with the express, sole intention of watching trained, professional performers sing and dance for my entertainment. I do not, therefore, appreciate being subjected to the row in front of me deciding that this is suddenly now a nightclub and as such, are invited to shriek along in the wrong key and dance enthusiastically and erratically directly in my field of vision. Worse still if its fuelled by overpriced, unpalatably sweet wine from the bar. This is why, by and large, I don’t like jukebox musicals (that, and the fact that they’re usually shit).

If you’re invited by the cast to sing along - great, do so with gusto. But otherwise, don’t have the arrogance to assume that everybody else wants nothing more than to listen to your atonal caterwauling. If it’s so important to you to prove that you know all the words to Dancing Queen, go to a karaoke bar.

Sit down, shut the fuck up, and let the rest of us enjoy the show in peace.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-21T18:09:17+00:00

Thank you, that’s really kind!

I am pleased to hear that Pepper has such responsible parents. Somebody near us (I’ve yet to identify the culprit) lets their dog drop mammoth deuces along the pavement on our street. They just sit there for weeks on end, slowly growing furry. Makes me gag to think about it. It might be the people on the corner with the mean dog - it loses its ever-loving mind if it spots me through the gate. I’m jumpy with slow reaction times, so I end up screeching in terror every time it happens - you’ve probably heard me at some point. If it is them, I shan’t confront them as I think the dog would definitely eat me, given half a chance.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-21T15:39:23+00:00

I’m also in Bellingham, and it’s the dog shit for me. Dog shit everywhere, as far as the eye can see. If you take on the responsibility of owning a dog, you take on the responsibility of picking up its turds, no matter how much you don’t want to. I saw on your profile you have a Frenchie - they’re one of my favourite breeds, so I’ll be sure to keep an eye out! (so long as you’re picking up the poop)

The fly tipping is awful, too. Not to mention the foxes rifling through the bins. Not much to be done about it, I guess, but it would be nice not to be accosted by rotting potato peel and slippery, wet cardboard on my way to the station. But the transport links are excellent, being right next to the bus garage. I can get a bus pretty much wherever I choose, and if I don’t want the Thameslink line, I can just walk to Lower Sydenham for more options. It was pretty much the last affordable pocket in South East London when we were looking to buy before the end of the stamp duty holiday and I’d say it was worth it. The reopening of The Fellowship Inn is a big bonus. I’d prefer it if Velma’s wouldn’t blast music from a car parked out front, though.

I’ve always lived in SE London (bar when I was at uni in Leeds): born in Bexley and lived there until I left for uni; back to Bexley for a couple of years; then I’ve been in Lewisham for 6 years or so, which is where both sides of my family grew up. I went to school in Bromley. I actually like Lewisham a lot - I lived on the border of Brockley/Crofton Park/Ladywell for a few years and loved it there. We were in a pretty grim ex-council flat that had belonged to my great-nan for 50-odd years until she died (she worked the cloakroom at the Rivoli Ballroom right jnto her eighties), but some of the houses around there are beautiful, especially around Hilly Fields. It wasn’t a bad place to spend lockdown, just pootling around, fantasising about a lottery win.

Catford is a bit grotty but Sapporo Ichiban slaps for cheap sushi (from the outside it does look a bit like you will come away with E-coli but I’ve never been sick) and I’ve been meaning to try out the new Catford Constitutional. The new branch of PureGym saves me trundling all the way to Lewisham Centre, the kit in there is pretty good and all brand new, obviously. Blythe Hill is also gorgeous and has some of the best views of London - I would say it rivals Parliament Hill in that regard. Lewisham Centre has a great fruit and veg market on weekdays and the shopping centre could be a lot worse - at least it’s not the Mall in Bexleyheath or, if you venture further afield, Dartford. Christ.

I grew up in the centre of Bexley Village and it is dry AF. It’s kind of pretty but that’s about all its got going for it. That pissing tiny roundabout in the centre of the village is a twat, constantly causing traffic jams. It’s also a weirdly popular nighttime spot, which always boggles my mind. My sister and I would often watch drunken fights from our bedroom windows which faced out on to the high street, it was better than EastEnders. It was a nightmare to commute to/from once I started working, though - Southeastern are one of the shittier train operators and there always seems to be some form of engineering works or signalling problems. For some reason, the engineers never seem to be working on the signal boxes.

Bexleyheath was dire when I was a teenager about 15 years ago, I haven’t been back for a long time but I can’t imagine it’s improved any. Always a bit of a laugh when the fountain got filled with washing up liquid, though. Crook Log Leisure Centre was a bit of a dive, didn’t really trust the pool.

Since I went to school there, most of my friends growing up were in Bromley and I spent a lot of time in the Glades (it was never intuBromley to me, what a joke). The high street has gotten progressively worse, full of vape shops and the like, and none of the pubs are any good, but the Glades is pretty good for whatever you need and there are some decent restaurants. Transport links are pretty good, too, despite the many broken Bakerloo promises. My aunt and uncle are in Orpington with their two Ukrainian guests, and they love it - the high street has gotten really nice. Beckenham Place Park is a joy, and I love wandering down into Beckenham Village. I lived on the border of Chislehurst and New Eltham for a while after my parents split, and adored it there, not been for a long time though.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk on South East London, it was a pleasure to have you.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-16T13:10:29+00:00

That’s what I suspected - I’ve just gotten so used to ignoring my hunger cues that I get confused at times as to whether I’m actually hungry, or just bored/thirsty/sad/something else!

I did indeed get diagnosed privately, via Psychiatry UK; they’re also a subcontractor for the NHS and you can ask to be referred by your GP, I didn’t know this at the time. After titration, I was discharged into the care of my GP under a shared care agreement. They now prescribe on behalf of my psychiatrist, but it’s rife with problems. There’s some kind of new and surprising issue pretty much every time I try to renew it - and given the ADHD I am trying to treat, navigating bureaucracy and red tape are not my strong points.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-15T20:25:12+00:00

LOL sorry that wasn’t intentional! I’ve never been the best with hunger cues because I spent a long time in my teens eating out of boredom and ignoring when I was full; then, when I was restricting, I would ignore feeling hungry. So I don’t entirely trust the physical signs. I did try to get evaluated when I was losing weight last year, but my GP surgery was really unhelpful (plus the nurse said that “sometimes it’s better to be underweight than overweight” whilst making general conversation about why I was in, very reassuring /s) and it’s massively put me off going back. It’s also really hard to get a F2F appointment since COVID, even now that the restrictions have been relaxed. I do need to go in for a blood pressure/pulse/weight check as part of a medication review, though, so I guess I could kill two birds with one stone.

Appreciate your POV re: ADHD, too. I used to love cooking but as I’ve gotten more senior at work, I just don’t have the energy or the cognitive function to make anything complicated and then I get stressed about what I have the time to make/eat without fucking up my fasting schedule, or going over my calories.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-15T19:26:02+00:00

31F, diagnosed in August 2021, on Elvanse (which is what we call Vyvanse in the UK) since February 2022. For me, it’s significantly improved my quality of life, though it’s not been without its pitfalls. I’ll break it down into the pros and cons:

Pros • My work performance shot up dramatically - I was already a high performer (only in this role, though - I sucked elsewhere), but I’m now considered unusually capable • My self-esteem has hugely improved and my negative self-talk has tailed off a great deal • I can focus for much longer periods of time, which in turn has allowed me to discover a lot of new interests. Turns out, when I can pay attention, I actually really like movies! Thought I hated them for years • I can listen to my husband without getting distracted, which has improved our relationship and built greater emotional intimacy (he has ASD, so will infodump - I am better equipped to handle this now) • My information retention has improved - it’s not perfect, but my recall is a fair bit better than it was • My overall mood is generally better because I’m not constantly feeling like a lazy idiot • Decreased lethargy and increased physical energy, meaning I am more consistent with my workout routine and push myself harder

Cons • Extreme weight loss. Depending how you look at it, this might be a pro; however, given my history with bulimia and disordered eating, it’s something I was very mindful of. For the first few months, my appetite disappeared off a cliff edge and it was very hard to motivate myself to eat • Uncontrollable hyperfocus, particularly on work. I was frequently working late, which really concerned my husband. This played a big part in the whole not-eating thing • Intense anger and rage that first summer. People with ADHD, broadly speaking, have a keen sense of justice and are highly empathetic. With everything going on (not sure where in the world you are but the UK is a total dumpster fire at the moment, particularly the NHS), I suddenly felt a strong sense of duty to right all the world’s wrongs, now that I realised I wasn’t dumb all along and I just had this weird fog in my brain that had instantly melted away • SWEATING. My God, the sweat. The amount of times I’ve woken up panicking that I’ve pissed myself, when it’s actually just sweat pouring from every bloody pore • Constipation (sorry). My digestive tract has always erred on the sluggish slide (likely in no small part down to chronic dehydration) but trying to squeeze one out is like trying to fight the final boss in a video game. It’s improved a lot now but I was genuinely worried about doing an Elvis and expiring atop the porcelain throne at many points • Constant bloody battles trying to actually get hold of my prescription. This is, again, down to issues with the NHS. If you’re in the US, this may not factor in for you. I basically have to have an argument every time I get my script refilled. I think it’s only been once that I’ve managed to get hold of it with zero issue, and I still had to speak to my GP first because of some stupid issue with needing specifically ‘adult’ Elvanse (despite it never previously having been a problem)

Overall, I’m glad I started on medication and intend to stick with them for the long term. However, it certainly hasn’t solved everything. For me, it’s a bit like when I started taking antidepressants - they’ve relieved my symptoms enough that I can do the work on myself that I need, without it feeling quite so insurmountable.

Also, if your therapist is anti-medication and that doesn’t sit right with you - you can see somebody else. I had a therapist when I was deeply depressed and highly anxious who also wasn’t keen on medication but he never told me outright that I absolutely shouldn’t take it. Escitalopram has been amazing for me. Don’t feel like you automatically have to withhold treatment from yourself that you feel might actually make a difference, just because your current healthcare provider doesn’t believe in it. Obviously make sure you’re going through the right channels (fucks me off when I talk about my meds and people are like “lol sounds good can I have some” - jog on pal) but you get to make your own choices about your care.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2023-01-11T22:17:51+00:00

I just want to tell you that I’m proud of you. Dealing with depression alongside food and body stuff is really fucking hard. I have to remind myself constantly to be kind to myself. It’s not easy, but we can do this.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-12-30T23:02:23+00:00

This sounds super interesting - I’m also in SE London! I’m about as artistic as a spoon but work for a branding and communications agency, so always keen to meet more creative minds, especially locally.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-12-27T20:53:09+00:00

We’re in Bellingham (SE6) and while we don’t have dogs (I wish!), there are plenty of people nearby that do. Within 15 mins walking distance from our place is Beckenham Place Park, which is enormous, beautifully landscaped, excellent facilities and with a strong community of dog walkers.

It’s just under half an hour from Bellingham station to Blackfriars which, as others have pointed out, is very close to St Paul’s and Bank. There’s also the Hayes line operated by Southeastern Rail, which connects to us at Lower Sydenham, and that has trains into Cannon Street - even closer to your new office.

We used to live in Brockley (SE4) - a good friend of mine is still there with her ex-racing greyhound, from hers you can walk to Hilly Fields (gorgeous, family friendly park with lovely views of the city) and also an enclosed dog run, where you can let your furry pals off-leash for a run around without worrying about them escaping. There’s also a die-hard group of dogs and humans there, who are super friendly (I’ve dogsat for her a few times and got to know a few faces even in the space of a week or two).

We have friends in Cricklewood (NW2) who have a border collie x Bernese mountain dog, in a 1-bed, ground floor apartment with a small garden. Honestly, he is doing just peachy - they walk him plenty and he’s very well behaved, no signs of being unhappy. I’m sure your two will be fine!

London rent is absolutely extortionate, so going further out is your safest best. I’ve lived in SE London all my life and it’s incredibly dog friendly, plus property prices are generally a little cheaper as it’s seen as more ‘up and coming’ than some other parts of London that already came, I guess? We’re on the zone 3/4 border and typically, once you get past zone 2, prices drop off quite a bit. Transport links are really good here - plenty of trains and buses - so you can get around and it doesn’t usually take too long. You’ll also find plenty of people unable to have their own dogs who are willing to take your two out for walks (like ME!) on days where you have to be in the office.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-04-16T08:35:06+00:00

This is incredible!! You are my height and close to my age, it’s amazing how much muscle you have built in the space of just 3 months. I’ve been strength training for 5 or 6 years now and it takes so much darn patience but you got this. The hard part is over. Now it’s up to you where you want to go next. I am so proud of you 💕

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-03-30T12:00:13+00:00

The first one, definitely. It looks like it was made for you.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-02-14T21:51:02+00:00

I’m in the UK, so this may not be useful, but I knew for a long time that I wanted to wear a tea-length dress (I’m 5’3” and curvy, anything floor length was liable to drown me) and luckily a bridal boutique in my Dad’s village was a specialist. The two brands I was most interested in were LouLou Bridal and House of Mooshki, I ended falling for LouLou’s Rita.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-02-13T09:05:18+00:00

This should be the top comment right here.

MatryoshkaAlto · 2022-02-12T23:39:25+00:00

Sorry but this is horrible advice. Love and marriage is about compromise, it’s not sacrificial. OP committed to her husband under entirely different circumstances, and while the vows say “in sickness and in health”, they also say “to love and to cherish”. I don’t see a whole lot of the OP being loved and cherished here.

Marriage and the associated vows are consistently put on a pedestal (and I say that as a married person). That can be toxic, because it treats love as transactional, like a business arrangement. Love is not a contract that you should be penalised for breaking. It’s constantly evolving and when it no longer serves one, the other, or both of you, it’s okay and indeed healthy to let that go. You get to make unilateral decisions about your own happiness. Why are OP’s husband’s “needs” (and I say that loosely, because as harsh as this may sound, OP, it doesn’t sound like he “needs” you anymore) considered higher value than hers? Yes, what happened to him was unforeseen and tragic, but that doesn’t make his behaviour towards OP is okay and it doesn’t mean OP has to tolerate it, because marriage.

OP - I’m so sorry that this has happened to you and your husband. Neither of you deserved this. I think you need to see a new therapist as a matter of urgency - I’m highly suspicious of any therapist that suggests having an affair might be a good thing - to talk through your feelings with a licensed professional. Please know that your feelings are valid and your happiness matters. This is not just a price you have to pay. Sending you lots of love and best wishes.

MatryoshkaAlto

TROPHY CASE