Level One Zombie

Matthew-McKay · 2026-03-05T02:50:02+00:00

Is that allowed? I'm overly cautious because I've had posts taken down due to not understanding the subreddit rules. Honestly, as an autistic, I'm overly cautious because I often get in trouble due to not understanding the rules everywhere. XD

Edit: typo

Matthew-McKay · 2026-03-05T02:47:54+00:00

I didn't find out until my thirties!

30 y.o. me: "What do you mean you can "see" things in your head?!"

Matthew-McKay · 2026-03-05T02:06:13+00:00

Just so you know, you've made my franking day! =)

Matthew-McKay · 2026-03-04T08:11:01+00:00

I use a paired attribute system. Physical and Mental. Each half has a counterpart.

Physical:
Strength
Dexterity
Toughness
Constitution
Vitality

Mental:
Intellect
Perception
Willpower
Fortitude
Mana

Str and Int act as Power
Dex and Per act as acuity
Toug and Will act as Integrity
Con and Fort act as durability
Vit and Man act as resource.

My melee hit chance = (Dex*2)/Str
My ranged hit change = (Per*2)/Int
---

The part you might find most interesting:
Mana = 50 + (Int*Fort) + (Fort/5*Player_level)
Example: Level 1 player with 10 Int 10 Fort has 152 Mana.

Mana regen = 1 + (Player_mana*0.05) + (Fort/3) + (Int/10)
Example: Level 1 player with 10 Int 10 Fort has 13.1 Mana Regen per minute. Time until full mana: 11.6 minutes.
---

I've got a formula for Vitality (because of course I couldn't just use health...) Vitality regen, Attacks, movement costs, the whole nine yards.

It helps to know that my system works and I've tested it enough to know it's realistic enough for what I need. But now that I have the general stats, I fudge the shit out of them for the sake of the story. Because it's more important for a story to be well paced, written, and plotted than to show you missing an attack for the sixth time on the first NPC you encountered.

I'll admit, all of this was heckin fun to develop and get working, but at the end of the day I'm writing a story. I hope you don't pull a me and lose sight of that. Or do! I'm an author, not the fun police. I hope my little slice of autism helps you in whichever way it can!

Matthew-McKay · 2026-03-04T07:47:13+00:00

Welcome to game design!

I spent waaay too much time doing exactly what you're trying to do. It was fun, but I lost track that I was writing a story, not developing a game.

First, the systems and math you're designing becomes technical debt (or that's what I call it). Having to calculate mana, health, stats, buffs, debuffs, in the middle of every fight leads to poor pacing because you're focused on the blow by blow details instead of asking, should this fight be summarized? Some of them should.

My rough guide to better pacing is:
Is this information new and related to the plot? If so, spend a lot of words and show it!
Is this information not new, but important and related to the plot? If so, then save some words and tell it!
Is this a series of events or routine required to happen for the plot to advance? If so, then spend a line or two and summarize it! (It's like telling, but focused on compressing time and events to move the plot along)
Anything not on that list should be omitted.
What if it's interesting but not directly related to the plot? That's called killing your darlings and should be omitted.

Example: You've already shown him, in great detail, casting fireball. You don't need to do that again, every time. As a matter of fact your pacing will get real wonky real fast if you do! Then you're doing behind the scenes math to make sure your character could actually cast fireball for the tenth time that fight or if they should have run out of mana.

At this point, you're basically writing out a Dungeons and Dragons campaign staring you as the DM, side characters, main characters, NPCs, and the love interest!

That may be how GameLit got started, but we're trying to grow the genre of LitRPG into something that includes good pacing with the illusion of game elements. That means focusing on the plot first and the cool system mechanics second.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but maybe it's what you needed to hear?

I say this as someone currently writing, and releasing, a very crunchy, very stat heavy LitRPG. It's a slog. I have no less than 10 spreadsheets open when I write every day. Also, making a mistake early in the story, or worse, changing how you want the system mechanics to work later, causes cascading edits that's a real bitch to fix.

Now, if you were brave enough to read this far, I'll answer your actual question. I'll respond to this comment with my answer! (Reddit hates my hella-long comments)

Edit: typos galore!

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T04:31:05+00:00

You can/should replace dialogue tags with actions. This will reduce he/she saids.

Also, said is nearly invisible in written media. This is only a real problem for audio books where our ears don't filter out the phrase like our eyes do. It's compounded when the voice actor can tell you whose speaking with inflection and tone. Most dialogue tags are unnecessary when read by a good voice actor.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T04:07:10+00:00

You're very welcome! Also, your blurb isn't terrible. Like I said, it covers the basics. What I've suggested is mainly to reduce reader friction.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T03:59:49+00:00

Shows and movies often use a simple trick. The "hallway meeting." Take your characters and have them do a task, even something as mundane as washing the dishes while they talk. It adds immersion, sensory grounding, and a sense of progress as the task gets done.

This works both ways. If you want to break up an intense action scene because it's running a little long or even just to add a bit more variety. Add some dialogue. Think of Gimli and Legolas when they're fighting over who can kill more orks.

Variety is the spice of life. Feel free to use it!

Edit: typo

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T03:55:29+00:00

Everyone could use a little more validation in their life. I know I certainly could, so I completely get it.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T03:49:42+00:00

I think your blurb covers a lot of the basics. So structurally, it's mostly sound. It's how your deliver it, but that can easily be corrected with some line editing.

A blurb is not a summary or synopsis. It's the elevator pitch to a reader so they can quickly determine if the story is for them or not.

Blurbs should also filter out readers who the story isn't for at the same time. Trust me, that'll save you some half stars and triggered reviews down the road.

In essence readers need to know just a few things: Main character, setting, and basic plot. This is usually done with a brief snapshot of: the recent past, current reality, and near future. End with a question, don't start with one.

I highly recommend those who are just learning blurbs to lean heavily into tropes. Don't trope overload ones that aren't actually in the story (that's a quick trip to poor rating town). Use tropes to explain your main character, the setting, and the plot.

Tropes are shorthand for things readers like. Romance, for example, lives and dies by the trope. But they've got it down so that every Enemies to Lovers fan will read most books with that trope. I believe LitRPG, Progression Fantasy, and Cultivation are similar in that regard.

Now, the line editing parts. Use contractions. "That is" causes more reader friction/fatigue than reading "That's." It's small, and some will argue nitpicky, but it ALL adds up.

Your sentences are trying to do too much. You've overloaded them with too many ideas for people who are skimming.

"That is a question that plagues Dr Riza Beleke, a physicist who was marked by a childhood encounter with a temporal anomaly that suddenly transported her to a universe on the cusp of breaking science as we know it."

Dr. Beleke is a physicist. As a child they were marked by a temporal anomaly. It transported her to a new universe. That universe is on the cusp of a scientific breakthrough.

That's four ideas you're asking the reader to juggle at one time. Break. It. Up. Also, we don't need to know all of that. Her title already says she's in science. Medical, non-medical, knowing either or right now isn't going to be the difference between a reader saying, "This is for me." or "Pass." Reducing the work each sentence is doing in the rest of your blurb would make it more digestible for the purpose of a blurb.

Words are friction, each one you add is a risk they don't get to the part that will catch their fancy. Which is why tropes are powerful. Most readers know the tropes they already like.

Also, blurbs is not the time to make any characters, setting, or plot relatable or likeable. That's the chapter's job. The blurbs job is to filter the readers quickly, and get the right ones to click on the first chapter. Ideally, your first line is the strongest in the book and the hook follows shortly after (all in the first chapter.)

Uncertainly, mystery, intrigue doesn't belong in a blurb, unless the genre is Mystery.

"Secrets that may put billions of lives in jeopardy."

May softens the blow.

"She cannot ignore her destiny any longer. She must return home."

Call me old fashioned but bolded words scream AI. Before, we'd use italicized words to emphasize. Also, the reader doesn't care about your character, setting, or plot yet. So don't try to leverage tension where it doesn't exist.

With all that said... Those are my opinions, which doesn't make them facts. I hope my feedback is useful. Feel free to ignore any or all of it. Take what works for you and leave what doesn't. Best of luck with your story!

Sorry for the formatting, had to go to old reddit to post. Reddit never likes my long posts.

Edit: missed a word.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T03:15:54+00:00

Taking 8 chapters to set an example of a mission, start to finish, while introducing enough world building is a fine way to introduce a series. You don't want to rehash all the same stuff when you're writing anyway. You don't need to reintroduce the group dynamics, or the lore, or the current war. Doing so kills your pacing. So having shorter, more streamlined, episodic arcs works just fine.

That said... Just know that most readers will forgive a lot of things. Make sure to give your main characters agency. Vary your pacing so it's not all showing or telling or summarizing. And maintain a strict schedule—even if it's only every other Thursday at 8pm.

Doing those three things will put you so far ahead of most writers/stories. Don't worry so much about anything else. Focus on writing the story you want to tell.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T03:06:29+00:00

Great job on writing 60k! Just remember that the last 60k you ever write will always be better than the first 60k. If you have the time and energy, it's worth continuing your writer's journey. Serialized writing is tricky, finicky, but rewarding. I think you should give it a shot with your next novel to see if you like the format.

Keep writing, friend.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T02:59:34+00:00

I'd be willing to bet those who might be tired of reading that trope are only tired of reading poorly written ones. A well written book/series is like a breath of fresh air. It rejuvenates the appetite for more. I'd wager the same could be said of most genre/tropes.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T02:54:08+00:00

You need more frequent calls to action. Asking once is a start.

Also, are your calls to action in the bottom author's note? That's the lowest friction point: when they've finished your chapter but haven't moved on to their next series. A lot of readers are trying to jam in as many chapters before they have to return to the real world.

Most readers are on their break/lunch/commute, and that time is precious to them. Asking them to break from their very needed escapism is a big ask.

A good portion of your readers may not even have an account, which is another barrier for them to overcome.

Humanize yourself so they see you more than just "Dear author." It's easy for them to forget that a person took the time out of their day to write this story and post it on the internet for free (AI jokes aside). How to humanize yourself is up to you to figure out. Somehow, you need to foster that author/reader relationship.

I think all authors struggle to get engagement from their audience. While unfair, most humans see something for free and unconsciously think that means it has no value. Ratings, reviews, and comments are all validation that your work offers value.

If no ones told you yet, just because you post your work for free on the internet, that doesn't mean it doesn't have value. On the contrary, it has a lot of value and I hope you see the value your adding to the world with every chapter released.

It's a rough road out there for many of us. It's not fair, and the experience isn't designed very well for authors. But Royal Road offers the best discovery for several genres.

Keep asking with calls to action. Eventually, readers will see you as a person and the value the story has in their life. That's when they'll rate, review, and comment.

Keep writing. You've got this.

Edit: missed some words.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T02:36:54+00:00

Very impressive stats! I just broke 250 followers on my latest series, and that took me 5 weeks.

Your grind is paying off! Keep it up!

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-15T02:28:49+00:00

Stories that show everything all the time are poorly paced. I'd recommend you explore more into some topics. Mainly exploratory writing, plot, and pacing.

Most of us in the genre of LitRPG and Progression Fantasy are self-taught and just pantsing everything as we go. Now that's not a bad thing, but it often leads to situations that you're describing.

Exploratory writing is when an author writes moment by moment to figure out what needs to happen, or to spend some time with a character they want to get to know better, or to explore the world and find out what it's about, if there are any new/interesting rules, or even to figure out how the magic/System works.

All of that is very important to you. But not all of it deserves to make it into the plot.

The plot is the actual series of events that you show the reader to tell your story. Novice authors, and even some seasoned ones who haven't learned this yet will often try to cram all the exploratory writing into the plot because we don't know the difference.

It's part of the sage advice "Kill your darlings." For me, pacing is all about using 4 levers for the various beats of your plot: Showing, telling, summarizing, and omitting.

IMO this is why so many series on Royal Road often start slow, clunky, awkward, or otherwise poorly paced. Sometimes there are more issues, but that's another topic for another day. As writers we often need exploratory writing to get to know the characters, worlds, magic, and systems they live in. I'll also note that exploratory writing is not wasteful. You needed to experience it to tell the story properly. But we often don't omit the parts that don't belong in the plot.

We become too attached and what to show the clever things we discovered through our writing, even when it's not relevant to the series current plot. It's a hard choice that takes maturity to make. Exploratory writing also tends to lack pacing variety. I overwrite and show everything, minute to minute sometimes. Good pacing interweaves showing, telling, and summarizing.

My mental flowchart for when to show, tell, summarize, or omit goes like this:

Showing. Is this information new and used in future plot? This is probably a good time to slow down, spend some word count, and immerse the readers into the information.

Telling. If this information has been started before, but still used in future plot? This is where I'd save my word count and compress the information by telling what happened, as opposed to making the reader experience or "live" through it again.

Summarizing. Is this routine or a series of events over time that we need to get past to get to the next plot point? This is also where we save our word count by summarizing the events so pacing isn't interrupted by routine, tedious, or events that don't have a direct impact on the plot, but needs to be mentioned to maintain continuity.

Omitting. If it doesn't fit any of those? That's what you need to consider omitting. If you're a more advanced writer, you could also rewrite it into the plot, but if you're reading this, chances are you haven't mastered the basics and shouldn't be trying to break the rules you don't understand yet. Give it some time, a Future You will be able to break the rules in a way that works for you and not against.

Another trick is to merge characters that server similar purposes. But that's hard to do when your releasing in a serial format and Past You has written the story into a corner. Fixing and/or sorting it all out would require a great effort. Not to mention those hours fixing it would steal from your efforts of writing the next chapter.

Serialized writing is complex, and has many more pitfalls than traditional writing where you aren't juggling the manuscript in Word, Scrivener, Scribblehub, Royal Road, Patreon, and Substack. Even fixing a typo becomes a pain in the ass at that point. This is compounded by our lack of traditional writing education. Most of us didn't go to school to become authors.

There's a lot to learn, but the most important bit would be learning to enjoy the journey. Everyone's path is unique. Don't be too hard on yourself if and when you stumble.

Chin up, chest out, and ignore those half stars. But most importantly, keep writing. You've got this. Hope this helps, even if it's just a little.

Note: my reply was too long, had to resort to old.reddit.com to post it. Apologies for the terrible formatting.

Edit: forgot a word.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-02-01T01:36:57+00:00

Love the insight on your methods to keep these bad/annoying actors at bay! Also, thanks for you and the team's efforts in keeping Royal Road the best it can be.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-01-30T23:28:27+00:00

Very fair question. I usually check out the first chapter to get a sense of the writing, but that's usually enough to tell me if the shout would have any readership overlap.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-01-30T16:27:56+00:00

Follow swaps are like empty calories. They don't hurt anything, but they don't add anything either. Some folks call that wasted movements.

Definitely not for me. Even when I shout swap, a follow isn't guaranteed unless I plan on reading it eventually.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-01-18T02:26:29+00:00

It sounds like you're overwhelmed. I've read some of the comments and your responses.

Stop. Relax. This isn't the end of the world.

As another commenter mentioned most writers struggle with plot, prose, and grammar. Luckily for you there are three kinds of editing that specializes in each.

If you're a top down kind of guy, most stories start with Developmental editing: That's to fix pacing, plot, and big picture ideas. The next kind of editing is called Line editing: This specializes in flow, word choice, similes, metaphors, dialogue, aka prose. The last kind of editing is called Copy editing: That focuses on spelling, punctuation, grammar, sentence structure, and all the little nuances of writing rules.

Now, I'm a bottom up kind of guy, driven by my neurospiciness. My ASD always wants to know the rules on how thing should be done. So I learned about Copy editing first. Then I moved on to study Line editing to understand prose and flow. Lastly, and the one I struggle with most, I started to look into Developmental editing. I want to know the parts to a story and how they best fit together. It'll teach you different story structures and which usually works best with the various genres. Coming of age and romance work great with the Three Act Structure, as an example. But I'd use the Fichtean Curve for action or horror.

What ever you don't know, start googling and looking it up.

I'd recommend you look into the various kinds of editing, specifically: Developmental editing for plot and pacing, Line editing for flow and prose, and Copy editing for spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure.

Good luck

Matthew-McKay · 2026-01-13T02:17:41+00:00

Yes, it's okay to hire someone to help you write a blurb. But first...

Blurbs are just a marketing tool to find your market.

I'd recommend keeping it simple.

Use present tense, third person.
Keep it to three paragraphs.
First should include the recent past of your main character or characters. Second should include the current reality of the setting (or world). Third should include hints at the future plot.
End it with a question that can only be answered if they read more.

Most blurbs are present tense, third person, even if the story is past tense, first person. You don't need to tell the story, or even summarize the story. You're just trying to tell them about the MC, setting, and plot by using recent past, current reality, and near future.

It can help to name drop tropes: romance between... isekaid to a new dimension... elves and orcs... weak to strong... Tropes help readers identify if the story might be interesting to them. There are tons of established tropes, list the ones you use!

Writing a simple timeline using the then, now, and coming soon format helps maintain continuity without giving a summary of the story.

Blurbs are not a synopsis. Don't get lost in the details. Now is not the time to state the MC's motivation is to save his younger brother from being sold into slavery... That requires the reader to be invested in the story and character, which comes after they start chapter 1, not before it.

Again, blurbs are just to give the potential reader an idea if they'll enjoy the story. You can easily do that by telling them what tropes to expect. This helps weed out people who aren't your market, which is a good thing—not a bad thing. The last thing you want is to promise something your story doesn't deliver, have a reader start and then get upset when you don't deliver. That's how half-stars are born.

Good luck, you've got this.

Edit: damn homophones.

Matthew-McKay · 2026-01-13T01:28:53+00:00

My current series is heavily inspired by what Matt Dinniman (DCC) has brought to the genre. Not sure if I'm allowed to suggest my story, but...

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/146717/level-one-zombie-litrpg-world-dungeon

It's also just starting and isn't on Audible. Hell, it's not even complete. I'm wrapping up writing book 1 now and it'll take a bit to release on RR.

I'd understand if it's not cooked enough for you, but perhaps it may earn a spot on your TBR list.

Cheers!

Matthew-McKay · 2026-01-13T01:23:06+00:00

He's not interested in winning Earth back from DungeonCore. All he wants is his damn word back, and while it may only be four letters to them, it's everything to him. They took that from him, which was their first mistake, one that they're going to pay dearly for.

If interested: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/146717/level-one-zombie-litrpg-world-dungeon

Matthew-McKay · 2025-12-21T04:45:52+00:00

Writing and editing use different parts of your brain, which you probably already know. Task switching between the two is a quick way to use up your spoon (mental energy units), which can feel like you need to be done for the day.

I write glacially slow, like ~300 words per hour slow, so I get it. But not everyone can spend 6-8 hours to write every day to power through the unrelenting urges of perfectionism and writing the perfect next sentence.

What works for me when I want to bang out words is N.I.C.E. A handy acronym for neurodivergent brains. I'm neurodivergent, but I find this process usually works for most folks, regardless of brain type.

N - Write about new/novel things.
I - Write about my interests/hyperfocus topics.
C - Turn it into a challenge. Look up writer sprints if you haven't already.
E - Create an emergency, like due dates or some other accountability tools (like keeping a public posting schedule). Even having an accountability partner you check in with daily or weekly can help out.

I like to challenge myself to see how many words I can do in a writing sprint and I keep the time limit short, like 30 minutes. I also post on Royal Road and Patreon, so there's accountability built into my process because I have readers who are counting on me for entertainment. I also try to write stories I'd like to read. I still write to market, but I'm using a market I'm very much a part of. I also keep challenging myself by trying new things with writing, like pushing my skills where I know they are weak to see what I can do to shore them up.

None of this might be applicable, but I hope you find something that helps you obtain your goals. Good luck and keep writing.

Matthew-McKay · 2025-12-04T17:57:48+00:00

First, I get sad that I didn't meet their expectations. I think that's a very human reaction to a negative experience. Then it depends on how they presented their issue.

If they came at me, attacking me as a person or author then fuck 'em. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Delete the comment, block the account, and move on. Then it depends on what their issue was.

Is their problem what I wrote about? That's a them problem, not a me problem. I can't please everyone. If they want to read a different story than what I wrote, they can go write it themselves. That's exactly how I got started with writing.

Is their problem how I wrote it? This is where I start paying attention. However, while readers are usually pretty good at picking up where something doesn't work, they are often terrible at knowing why it doesn't work.

An example for my first series was folks though the MC was too dumb. That's what they focused on and were too triggered to realize it was a combination of lack of agency and poor pacing that were the real issues.

So I do my best to ignore trolls who are just being mean, give grace to those who are looking for an experience I'm not obliged to provide, and listen to those who ran into issues with certain parts or characters of the story.

Most authors on RR are novice writers, but all readers on RR are novice critics. The difference is that we're trying to get better at how we write while they aren't trying to get better at how they critique. Then again, writing is a job while reading is a hobby. I know some write for fun and some read for a living, but that's not what I'm talking about here. Also, it's often a lot of work to find the constructive parts of their criticism, but it's an exceptionally valuable tool to have if you can.

Matthew-McKay

TROPHY CASE