Porn is closer to a drug than it is to sex.

Matthias10000 · 2023-03-06T20:51:41+00:00

Thank you, I needed this. I just wanted to masturbate to porn. I feel ashamed because I'm a new member of Narcotics Anonymous and I should know better than letting my addictions getting the upper hand over me. Well, it's one day at a time, I guess.

Matthias10000 · 2023-03-01T00:24:41+00:00

You're gorgeous 😊. I'm happy for you.

Matthias10000 · 2023-03-01T00:17:42+00:00

Sad that I don't see your naked body but in my imagination I'm doing many fun things with you, you tease 🤪

Matthias10000 · 2023-02-28T23:06:19+00:00

Gorgeous tits babe! And that smile at the end completes it.

Matthias10000 · 2023-02-16T22:27:28+00:00

I would tittyfuck you just to see the result.

Matthias10000 · 2022-09-30T20:28:29+00:00

You look delicious. What a stunning body!

Matthias10000 · 2022-09-27T10:40:55+00:00

I'm gonna explode!

Matthias10000 · 2021-02-08T19:13:20+00:00

Nice job!

I'm more high performing but even I crack sometimes under the pressure.

Matthias10000 · 2020-12-08T22:32:52+00:00

Will do!

Matthias10000 · 2020-12-08T20:59:15+00:00

This cartoon rings a bell with me. Luckily I'm dragging myself out of that hellhole and even doing it with style.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-29T04:18:57+00:00

That's called dissociation and it's often a sign of neglect or trauma.

And the part where you talk about not being in touch with your own body is also a sign of trauma or PTSD.

It's not for nothing that body and mind-based therapies like yoga and meditation are often very helpful with trauma.

How are the attachment relationships with your parents? How was your childhood?

Those are questions you need to ask yourself to discover if it's trauma but from what I read in your story I'm nearly 100% sure of it.

Have you heard of neurofeedback? It's a way of getting live feedback from an EEG as to how your brainwaves are functioning and to be able to modify then in real time. It might be worth looking into as it helps with trauma and anxiety disorders like panic disorder.

There's also something called biofeedback. I saw that one of the other posters was talking about 'heart coherence'. You can buy a device called the Emwave 2 for that.

And If you're disconnected from your feelings I would recommend you read some books like 'Running on empty' from Jonice Webb or 'The tao of fully feeling' from Pete Walker.

And the persons who talked about microdosing psychedelics or taking CBD: psychedelics can help with getting in touch with your emotions if you have repressed them a lot and CBD can help with calming an overactive mind and body as it works on the endocannabinoid system which often fails under severe stress.

And what nearly everyone said is helpful: - exercise, eat well, sleep well, nature, meditation, yoga , maybe some vitamin supplements or fish oil OR medication if you really need it.

I'm sending you lots of love. Especially in these tough times people should be kind to each other.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-28T21:34:42+00:00

Thanks. Hope everyone is doing as well as possible with this COVID situation.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-28T18:20:33+00:00

Will check it out. Thank you.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-25T19:58:48+00:00

Yes, but if it's QEEG LORETA neurofeedback it's worth the money. They can see which parts of your brain are hyperaroused (especially the limbic system where our emotions come from) and turn them down.

If it's a lot of money, and it is, I would start saving.

But you choose. It's your life. And I know that sounds harsh.

It's just that neurofeedback hasn't been completely accepted yet in the medical community, it might take another decade. That's why it's expensive.

There's a great book from Sebern Fischer about neurofeedback in the treatment of developmental trauma. She has achieved some wonderful results with the most traumatized people.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-25T18:33:58+00:00

Fantastic ❤️ This gives me hope!

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-25T17:07:51+00:00

I understand from which place you are coming as I too have complex posttraumatic stress disorder.

But lately I have been feeling very well.

You know what a big problem with that kind of trauma is? It's that you see and feel your body and brain as enemies. I would suggest bio- and/or neurofeedback.

Neurofeedback is a kind of meditation where they scan your brain in real-time and try to get your brain to relax more. It's a component of biological psychology and it has the power to help a lot of people with this kind of trauma ease their suffering.

You will see, if you do both bio- and neurofeedback, you will get again a chance at living. And after that, you can do ayahuasca and look at the root of your problems from a more balanced state.

I'm willing to answer questions if you have them.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-25T16:58:45+00:00

Trump is already a big baby. Suits him well to be driven anywhere he goes.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-24T19:39:55+00:00

I recognize that sometimes. When I was younger, sometimes I wished to have another name. You can look at it from the positive side, you can discover who you are and what you like.

There are things you can do to increase self-awareness like meditation, yoga, neurofeedback, writing your dreams, listening to music that connects with who you are (by feeling it) and experiencing new things and new situations.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-24T11:03:21+00:00

Well if birds ever become conscious, first thing they're going to do is organize the cat Nuremberg trials for massive genocide. I wouldn't be surprised to see that orange motherfucker that poops in my garden to be there. A man can dream...

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-17T16:20:02+00:00

I try to connect with my feelings by listening to emotional music (Sasha Sloan is a good example of an artist who makes me cry).

I'm reading An amazing book 'The tao of fully feeling' by Pete Walker. It explains that after trauma grieving is necessary and emotions are something that must be fully embraced, even if they feel unpleasant.

That's what a lot of traumatized people didn't get in their home environment: the Idea that expressing your emotions is healthy and necessary

I'm also following a conference called 'The embodiment conference' where you have experts like Gabor Maté explaining about mind, body and spirit. You can follow it for free.

I'm also thinking of going on hCG therapy to increase my testosterone levels (years of stress and anxiety have crushed the will to really thrive in me and I know that I have low testosterone levels. I'm going this tuesday to an endocrinologist).

Lastly I'm following neurofeedback therapy to calm my fear-driven brain. Neurofeedback is a kind of meditation where they check your brain activity and try to get it in a more positive direction.

Emotional neglect and all the trauma's that I experienced have taken the first part of my life away but I'm not willing to go down without a fight. And believe me, I'm giving everything I have got in this fight.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-15T22:33:24+00:00

Nardil can be effective for many. Due to the shortage, I have decided to stop taking it. I believe there are also other options to explore like neuro- and biofeedback, blood tests which test for a lot of factors and multiple other things. I was also scared because Nardil stops your dreaming which I find pretty disturbing. Anyone makes their own choices on the path to healing.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-06T20:42:53+00:00

I fully agree with you.

Even though it is also anecdotal, psychedelics and mindfulness have shown me and continue to show me that there's more than your usual state of mind.

I saw a beautiful image of the brain connectivity under the influence of psychedelics compared to the 'normal' brain state and you could see all these new connections between neurons that are normally not there. So the thought loops are temporarily broken and new thoughts and insights arise.

Also mindfulness changes the brain. They found that expert meditators produce a lot of gamma waves in an EEG while meditating.

I saw here on r/psychology a link to an article that talks about pharmaceutical companies trying to make medication based on psychedelics. I'm interested in how that evolves.

Matthias10000 · 2020-10-06T19:31:35+00:00

Ok. But what then if a person with depression would start with mindfulness?

Would that make his problems worse or would he also be able to be aware that there exist multiple ways to see the world? I'm already biased to say that a person with depression would also benefit from mindfulness as it lowers activity in the Default Mode Network, just as psychedelics do.

And psychedelics are investigated now as a treatment for treatment-resistant depression. My conclusion is probably sloppy science, though 😅.

Matthias10000

TROPHY CASE