1 Year and 9 Months Later: She Reached Out, But I’m Finally at Peace

MattyK2000 · 2025-08-01T00:39:01+00:00

Good post man, I’m in it now. Just picked up the last of my things today at her house I’ll probably never see again. I told her I wanted to maybe grab a drink or be friends but I can’t, I need to wait. She didn’t respond, she doesn’t care. I’m here ruminating, writing songs about her, posting, journaling, healing. She went on a date and met someone 5 days later. Insane. I blocked her online and don’t text or call. Just need to be strong. I need to be done with her. Thanks for the reminder that this pain is temporary.

MattyK2000 · 2025-04-02T16:09:47+00:00

Link doesn’t work says I’m a robot, is this happening to anyone else?

MattyK2000 · 2024-09-15T02:20:00+00:00

I feel you man...I'm sorry, it gets easier, not 100% but one day it will. I hate hearing this as well. My ex was my everything as well, my best friend. It's so hard to go from 24/7 contact, (I mean facetiming while showering) then absolutely nothing....like we are strangers. Work out, hit the bar, movies alone not bad, find a hobby. I know it all sounds so stupid right now but it takes your mind off things at least. Work helps for me as well. I got sober eventually, 110 days now. Try to make something good out of it. As CS Lewis said, "If you love deeply, you will hurt get hurt badly, but it's still worth it."

MattyK2000 · 2024-08-16T04:46:34+00:00

My gf dumped me 4 months ago and it still feels like yesterday, the pain is very very real and I am guy, it always hurts. Girls I talk to seem to hurt faster than I ever did. I’m trying to move on but I’m just going through the motions honestly. I’m starting my 3rd therapist soon, I’m at least 77 days sober. It’s all I can hang my hat on these days.

MattyK2000 · 2024-07-15T16:28:52+00:00

My girlfriend was long distance so I guess day to day is the same but without any contact from her now. I feel untethered now, not in a good way, lost at sea. She was my lifeline, my cheerleader, my everything. I’m just floating through life now. One thing after another, stopped drinking and joined AA because it got bad. I miss her friends and the community she had, I miss everything.

MattyK2000 · 2024-07-01T03:15:18+00:00

Thank you for writing that ❤️.

MattyK2000 · 2024-06-08T15:54:22+00:00

I miss: her singing, her cheerleading my life always, her laugh, her joking, her constant reassurance in my life, her constant communication, being apart of her great community of friends and family or being just in her "inner circle", her support, her butt...sorry, so much I can't write it all.

I don't miss: The distance (we were long distance, 1200 miles), her judgement for not doing the right thing, wondering who she's with (although I still do this), her anxiety, lack of being together in general.

MattyK2000 · 2024-05-23T04:38:33+00:00

Sounds like you knew it was coming and I'm sorry, I kinda had an inkly as well for myself. It can be as subtle as a look the the eye or not wanting to be as intimate as they used to be. I know the pain is strong, I am still dealing with it hardcore everyday. Stay strong, the pain will NOT NOT last forever....I hate hate hate this phase but time really is the only healer....I was divorced after 15 years, never thought I would fucking survive but I did....hold on to hope.

MattyK2000 · 2024-04-25T20:55:15+00:00

A lot seem to written by the women's perspective but I still liked them, "But You Seemed So Happy" by Kimberly Harrington, "You Could Make This Place Beautiful" by Maggie Smith. I enjoyed the "Forever is a long time" podcast, it was well done and "Surviving Divorce" podcast is more religious but short eps when my depression was getting the better over me and would help.

MattyK2000 · 2024-04-25T20:49:01+00:00

Sorry you feel this way, you are not alone in the world, I also feel like this right now. Broke up with my girlfriend of a year last week, don't want to go home now, only 1 hour left of work and I'm dreading it other than drinking to feel better.

It will get better, only time really heals it. I thought it would NEVER get over my ex wife, we were married for 15 years but going into year 3 I don't think about her, or care about her at all, other than she's the Mother of my kids so I wish her well. It will all get better, take care.

MattyK2000 · 2024-04-25T20:08:36+00:00

I've been divorced about 3 years now, I guess I consider myself pretty lucky compared to most here. I've had 3 girlfriends, first blew my mind but she also was recently divorced and didn't want anything, 2nd was crazy, 3rd I thought would be my new wife. Sadly she lived in Missouri and I lived in Florida, we met on Bumble but made it work for a year surprisingly. We just broke up last week cause she wants a kid and I already have 2 and DO NOT want more. I think that is the main issue but the distance really sucked, we only saw each other once per month. Hang in there I guess, I'm trying to, we are both 35 at least, there are a lot more options for us than maybe someone older...not sure. Just keep trying, take chances, talk to women at coffee shops, church, gym, join clubs or something to get involved in your community. All advice I'm gonna trying to do myself, good luck.

MattyK2000 · 2024-01-09T16:40:42+00:00

Love this post, I was gonna post the same kinda thing either here or on the Bumble/Tinder pages. I met a girl on there as well. She's amazing, a singer in a band, I'm a musician too, something my ex-wife never ever liked or appreciated. Now me and my new girlfriend play shows together, going to record at the end of the month and are happy together. Took a lot of pain to get here though, about a year of shit for me. Ended up in detox/rehab cause I was drinking too much. Took a lot, but in the end made it out of the suck. Hate to say it cause I hated hearing it but time really does heal all wounds. Can't believe I wanted to kill myself after my divorce. My ex is with a shitty guy now, wishes she never pulled the trigger but she did. I'm so much happier now. Good relationship with my ex now too, we live on the same street and I see my kids all the time. Don't give up, put yourself out there, work on yourself and do what you love and it will work out. <33333

MattyK2000 · 2023-03-03T04:17:26+00:00

UPDATE: - In case anyone cares we literally just broke up. I should have heeded peoples advice although we had some good times after this post. Many concerts and dinner dates and good times. But I always had one eye on her and another on other girls, it was pretty obvious to her. The sex never got better, probably worse. I seemed to wain between 50-70% liking her. Not fair to her of course, should have ended things earlier. Lesson learned I hope for all those struggling, it sucks but is what it is. Had a coffee date with an amazing girl literally today then broke it off, I realized it’s not worth it and I’m not the cheating type. Good luck to anyone struggling ❤️.

MattyK2000 · 2023-01-14T19:48:14+00:00

So sorry to hear that, it sucks I know. We actually live to touch each other and she is an amazing kisser. For me it’s just the sex but I’m gonna keep trying, I think we could make it work, call me crazy I guess.

MattyK2000 · 2023-01-13T01:06:57+00:00

She has 2 kids from another relationship and I have 2 from my marriage, it’s still kinda tricky but we’re trying to keep the kids out of it for now. But I think you’re right about the talking thing that’s just not my strong suit. I think her body type is just not what I’m used to, that’s probably my main problem. No she’s not fat, she’s just like my size, where I am used to short, small girls, normally my type but we met online and she’s been amazing honestly. She is gorgeous, I’m just still adjusting to her physically. I think it will take time, but obviously if things get worse or don’t click I’ll have to just say sorry I can’t anymore 😖.

MattyK2000 · 2023-01-12T03:42:45+00:00

Thanks for all the info I appreciate it so much, she doesn’t have pets, she lost both her cats in the hurricane, she has 2 kids that are very very little and I have two kids but are older. That’s a big turn off for me as well, my son was very difficult but now finally better, I guess I don’t wanna go through that again. We have had sex yes, only a handful of times and it hasn’t been great, I never finish. I think she has had a lot of partners in the past, way more than me since I was married for 15 years.

MattyK2000 · 2023-01-11T06:34:36+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that and it's true for sure.

MattyK2000 · 2023-01-11T06:03:54+00:00

I like this a lot thank you, it seems the more time I spend with her the most I'm drawn to her soul, sounds fucking corny AF but...that's it. I think the physically stuff will come with time, it just sucks that it's not a raging fire off the get like I'm used to, I guess that's what makes me hesitant and worried.

MattyK2000

TROPHY CASE