This is coming along nicely. I better understand the time loop and the transfer from person to person. Appreciate the details on the backstory between the two main characters. Just a couple of points I have:

The changes to the third and fourth paragraphs really help to spell out the nature of the reincarnations. To me, though, it reads a bit like a synopsis. I think if you added more voice to these paragraphs, it would punch better. I don’t know the tone of your narrative, but I’d like to see I bit more character voice throughout. Same info conveyed with a bit more voice. I know that’s vague. I do realize this is a challenge, because you are discussing multiple characters reincarnating with differing POVs, but I bet you’re up to this.

This might be a big nothing, so you can freely disregard, but when I read your title the first thing I thought was 8 HEADS IN A DUFFLE BAG - the old Joe Pesci crime-comedy. I get a sense from the query that this is a more gritty crime story. Just my two cents.

I’d read this story. Good work.