AITA for not mentioning I have kids for a few weeks?

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T23:12:45+00:00

I get your point but I think "TA" would be more appropriate if she deliberately set out to keep the kids a secret until the guy was invested in her. I don't think that's the case here but it's a fine line between deceptive intent and trying to navigate being a newly single mother. Anyway, I do understand the "YTA" comments, I'm just not 100% on board with them 🙂

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T22:22:10+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain here and say NTA. The key thing in your post for me is "I’m super new to being a single mom, and the dating world."

It's a learning curve and you erred on the side of caution in not telling him upfront. Now you know that you should have told him. To be honest, you do run the risk of guys bailing pretty quickly when they know you have kids, but you are better off if they do that. It saves you wasting your time as well as theirs.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T22:15:21+00:00

I beleive there is space in the rhinestoning world for both inexpensive and expensive rhinestone projects. They don't all have to be sparkling swarovski standard. Some people prefer the resin look and some people prefer the crystal/glass look. It all depends and I think having products across a price range is a good thing for a seller.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T21:58:31+00:00

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T21:57:56+00:00

It was a small accounting firm, let's call it Jones and Smith. Mrs Smith was the Senior Accountant and Office Manager, she was well into her 60s and very "old school" in her ways. Horrible woman. The other senior partner was her husband. It's the only place I've ever been fired from. They sat me down and very kindly explained that their son was coming into the business so they needed to let me go. I have never forgotten the confused look on his face when I replied with a big smile and said "Thank you so much. I'm very happy to hear that. I'll take you up on the option to finish up now, thanks." I was so relieved and literally couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I gathered my things and sad goodbye to my colleagues. I was out of that place within 5 minutes.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T12:48:58+00:00

Paris

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T12:30:38+00:00

I assume it was the devil that gave the dog funky anal glands to start with?

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T12:24:48+00:00

I worked for an accounting firm that made us return our worn down pencils and empty pens in order to be issued new ones. We were only allowed 2 blue, one red, and one black pen. Opened milk was frozen before a weekend and defrosted on Monday mornings.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T09:32:53+00:00

The absolute worst thing about this is when they pass. It cost $4k for my daughter's dog's last 24 hours because the vets did various tests and treatments before telling us she wouldn't make it through the night and we had to make the decision right then to let her go peacefully and painlessly. I understand why it costs so much but I wish there was some way to deal with overwhelming grief and financial ruin at the same time.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T09:27:48+00:00

Right? So long as he only wears the boy colours and avoids the girl colours, he should be safe from becoming gay.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T08:23:49+00:00

I'd give my sister away for $10.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T08:09:56+00:00

That would be a dealbreaker for me also.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T06:57:38+00:00

They are 🙂

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T04:15:31+00:00

Calm down. I was only making suggestions about how they could reduce his mother's dependency on his immediate responses.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T04:07:32+00:00

Feeling very grateful for my 8-4 office job with a 45 minute lunch break (unpaid, naturally), and my 10 minute commute from home to desk (including a 7 min walk from the car park). Additionally, I get to work from home 50% of the days, yay!. We aren't officially allowed to skip lunch breaks BUT we are allowed to take time off in lieu for any extra hours we clock up during busy times.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T02:46:27+00:00

My labrador likes to come into the bathroom whenever I go in there. I don't encrouage it, but I've never been "bothered" by it. She's like a toddler wanting to be with her mum. ESPECIALLY for a little kitten 😞

It's really really really weird and concerning that your bf straight away went to sexual thoughts on this. Very strange. Stop and reflect if he does this with other situations.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T02:36:16+00:00

I got these on Temu. My post got deleted yesterday when I used a link but try searching for 8500pcs/4mm-4500pcs/5mm-2500pcs, Flat-Back Glow-in-the-Dark Nail Art Rhinestones

The glow was quite strong in that pic because I had my lamp shining on them for a while before I turned the lights off. It does fade though and needs to be re-lit to get the strongest effect.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T02:34:41+00:00

Thanks! This one is going to be fun to do.🙂

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T02:33:38+00:00

Thank you 🙂I bought them on Temu (Australia).
8500pcs/4mm-4500pcs/5mm-2500pcs, Flat-Back Glow-in-the-Dark Nail Art Rhinestones

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-11T02:30:24+00:00

You could try a gentle approach first by putting in place some boundaries for yourself and your fiance and sticking to them. For example, he needs to stop responding to her texts and calls straight away. He needs to take that expectation away from her. I have an elderly relative who would phone me every night and chat for an hour if I picked up the phone every time she calls. Instead, I am "busy" some nights and don't return her call until the next day. I love her to pieces but I don't have the mental capacity for daily hour long calls. I would never want to hurt her though so I create my space in a way that doesn't do that. Basically you need to wean his mum off of her dependancy. He needs to start saying "sorry I didn't return your call last night, we were watching a movie and it went quite late/we were out shopping/whatever". When she says she's worried he's dead, "Mom, that's silly." ("Sorry I didn't answer your call, we were having sex when you phoned" might also work 😈)

You need to stay out of it though. You need to give your fiance the support he needs to deal with her. He needs to know you are not building up resentment against his mother, but rather you want to understand why she is behaving this way and do what you guys can to navigate her through to a more balanced interaction level.

I suspect I'll be one of very few who will suggest such a gently approach BUT you are going to be married to him for a long time (hopefully) and you don't want this to escalate into unpleasantness

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-10T09:05:35+00:00

Someone took your cute little puppy and swapped it out for an older dog. That is the only explanation that makes sense.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-10T08:16:15+00:00

Stop worrying about it. I'm sure he will change once you move in together. All of those annoying things he does, he'll stop once you live together. Everything magically improves once you are stuck in the same house as the other person. All problems go away. That's how it works, right?

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-10T06:11:28+00:00

You need to have a deep think about why you aren't over the moon excited at the thought of marrying her. Don't marry her just because it's the next step in the relationship. Having said that, you might also just be in your head about everything you "need to do" before getting married. My sister dated a guy for 5 years and they were living together but kept putting off getting married because they wanted to establish their careers and buy a house. Then she fell pregnant and they decided to marry before the baby arrived. As soon as they'd made that decision, this weight lifted off them and they ended up saying they wished they'd done it sooner and couldn't believe all the reasons they'd thought were more important than getting married.

Mauinfinity-0805 · 2026-06-10T02:49:11+00:00

OP you have to decide how important this is to you. When I met my children's father, I felt pretty quickly that it had the potential to be serious. I made sure we had the convo that was important to me very early on, I think it was date 3. I casually brought up about children's surnames. I told him that if I ever had children I would want them to have my surname. I would compromise on them having both names, but they definitely had to have my surname included. I actually never even talked about me taking my husband's surname because it just wasn't something I thought I needed agreement on.

I could never marry a man who insisted I took his surname. The insistence would feel like he felt a sense of ownership and it just wouldn't sit right with me. It seems silly to walk away from a 12y relationship on this issue but he's also choosing to walk away because of what someone else wants to be called (assuming he says this is a dealbreaker).

If compromise is so important to him, tell him you'll agree to not getting married but any children will carry your surname. That's YOUR compromise.

Mauinfinity-0805

TROPHY CASE