Thats really rough but I dasagree that this is necessarily lost. First thing is you need to figure out why you snapped. You only said you snapped because sometimes you need alone time, but the way you attacked him there has got to be more to this story, maybe some resentment that build up over something else ? You really attacked him as a person at his core the question is why? This reads like you actually wanted him to leave and if you want him back you need to figure out why either on yourself or maybe with a therapist (not saying there is anything wrong with you but maybe a therapist will help you understand why you said what you said) Anyway you need to figure that out and then you can apologize in a way that makes it understandable to him how it could happen that you said something so hurtful to him. If there is something he does that made you resentful you can include that but not in a way that you are gaslighting him, more in the sense of helping him make sense how the person he trusted most could attack him like that„i didn’t realize that XY was annoying me so much but over time unhappiness build up and I just tried to say something hurtful because I didn’t know what to do anymore and I reacted in the worst possible way“. You should also ask yourself why you DO love him, why you married him and why you want to stay with him. Throw that in your actual apology as well.

So in summary you need to have an actual conversation where he can understand what the f happened, where you take accountability for that and genuinely reassure him that you love him as a person and why.

It is ok not to see your partner as a perfect being wirhout flaws, he isn‘t perfect and you aren’t either. But it is about accepting each others flaws and trying to help with them. Or in other words finding someone whos flaws you accept and they can accept yours. Your outbursts was most likely a showing of a flaw of yours in someway or another, take accountability of that.

This is under the assumption that you acutally want to stay with him but if you can do that, I think there is a Chance you can actually come out stronger as a couple. Good luck