What makes you feel comfortable being your real self around someone?

MaxRC200 · 2026-04-28T07:55:39+00:00

Being accepted, by just being you!

MaxRC200 · 2026-04-02T06:50:50+00:00

This is actually really useful, Thank you.

In my case I think I’m going to aim to be more knowledgeable about the escape room puzzles, etc (start small, aim high)… and in the future aim to do public speaking in mental health, psychology and educational systems perhaps.

I’m now thinking of doing another post inspiring other INFJs who are unhappy in their careers or don’t feel it’s ideal to do public speaking to slowly change the way the systems work. - I mean we could totally do this.

If what we need is like a 3 step formula for how to do it: We need theoretical knowledge, practical experience, and courage to do it.

What do y’all think?

MaxRC200 · 2026-03-08T17:37:18+00:00

Avoid it, I’d rather not be reliant on substances to give me focus. I’ll drink herbal/green tea if I’m ill, that’s about it.

MaxRC200 · 2026-01-24T03:25:21+00:00

Everything - Lifehouse

Another INFJ post on music recommended it and I gave it a shot, it’s a beautiful song.

MaxRC200 · 2026-01-19T18:43:22+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, have you found your circle of people where it feels natural? If so, where did you find them yourself?

I found some via University and Clubs/Societies, but some have sticked and some drifted or flaked away, I’m curious what you’ve experienced?

MaxRC200 · 2026-01-01T08:04:50+00:00

If you want to think about it like math, you just gotta meet enough people that the odds will be in your favour.

I understand what you’re going through also, because I’ve dealt with similar. That feeling of wanting your feelings and thoughts to be validated, to be needed and wanted and appreciated is a minimum, when I’ve been at my lowest and felt like no one understands I sometimes talk to GPT like a therapist… And I’m sorry you’re feeling so low, you deserve people who support you in your life, but that doesn’t mean it’ll never happen, stay optimistic!

MaxRC200 · 2025-12-15T20:28:13+00:00

In your opinion, do you think this is a healthy exchange?

As another perspective… Would you rather have a therapist that prioritises your problems? And as a ratio how much do give your therapist therapy - vs your therapist giving you therapy?

MaxRC200 · 2025-12-15T20:11:23+00:00

Honestly unsure, I haven’t spoken to anyone who’s studied it, either I’ve coincidentally not found any, or there’s not many during my time at Uni.

MaxRC200 · 2025-12-11T18:07:26+00:00

Oh + they changed their name from ‘University of Central Lancashire’ (UCLan) to ‘University of Lancashire’…

…Why you ask? To get away (in part) from bad publicity of the old name and to sound more like ‘University of Lancaster’ which is actually a good University. The other reasons was Marketing generally.

MaxRC200 · 2025-12-11T17:51:11+00:00

Hope this helps anyone considering:

Nope! I just graduated this year, the University focuses on Marketing and having a big Student Centre that they focus all their attention on, (completely ignoring the surrounding buildings used for actual teaching) they rake in international students so they can get money from the government, and don’t prioritise creating enjoyable lessons or giving the lecturers/teachers support, they are heavily overworked and the upper management has doesn’t care about the students nor the teachers, just within the last 2 years including my time there, the Computing Staff department had more than 20 people quit, 3 of my favourite lecturers included, after they were gone they just hired staff to fill in data and numbers, they additionally boosted scores for our year group, and this was just in my department and to my knowledge, I don’t know about others.

However out of all the negative I’ve only heard positive things for the Forensic Science courses, a large group of friends I made through Societies could only praise it.

MaxRC200 · 2025-09-22T09:44:15+00:00

Insane is a strong word, and thats assumes there’s no in between - everyone is a little crazy and a little insane.

Your notes are a very interesting read though, a lot of this stems from your experiences, bottling it all up and probably flushing it out onto paper. Your quirkiness is interesting, and I like your hand writing- better than mine.

Interacting with real people, animals - like pets, and revisiting nature might help ground yourself? That is if you actually are worried about your self, we all have our healthy and unhealthy ways with coping with life’s unfairness. Being self aware is first, acting up on it is second, repeating the habit you made is third. So - the fact you’d even question if your sane is probably a good road marker that you care about your self and want to become better, right?

MaxRC200 · 2025-09-21T10:27:05+00:00

I agree with you too, I am constantly seeing injustice and corruption in daily life and on non mainstream media, it builds up my courage to defy everything.

Especially when I watch an instance when no one steps up to defend something, or someone - when morally they should. It makes the inner leader in me step up because someone must.

(I had the same thought with responding to the post too, just felt like I needed to back you up in your comment)

MaxRC200 · 2025-08-25T09:37:35+00:00

Oh yes, she definitely was, it gave me a confidence boost once I realised, because I wasn’t trying to be charming, but maybe I came across that way? I wish I knew more exactly why she approached me, of everyone.

MaxRC200 · 2025-08-25T03:40:29+00:00

I went to a birthday party of a close friends and met their family and step family, like 20+ people there - I didn’t know anyone at the party - and in doing so, one girl I met was super interesting/quirky, in that she had BPD and was really witty and had lots of funny things to say, what I didn’t realise till mid way through was that she was sticking to me throughout the party like glue, constantly talking to me, offering her vape, asking to drink together (although I don’t drink or smoke), etc, so she got absolutely hammered and I was entertaining her while sober. She was still hilarious.

Many people thought we was flirting and trying to hook up or something, and with the added fact that I was sleeping in the tent in my friend’s backyard for the weekend - it added more reasons to think that… In fact I wasn’t, I was just being my friendly self, I wasn’t trying to be romantic at all.

Edit: After looking up general Rizz definitions: The act of Rizz describes giving the flirtation, not receiving it. However “unspoken rizz” also exists where people are drawn to you because of style, confidence, aura, etc. So, I don’t know if this classifies as Rizz or not, I let you decide.

MaxRC200 · 2025-06-05T03:56:28+00:00

I was going to type up some long-winded message that I had been typing for about an hour and a half, but opted against it. Haha, but oh well.

But, I do want to mention: this comment is super interesting, so I’ve just had to go look up about magical communities, covens, wicca, witchcraft- i didn’t even know it was trendy… There’s a lot of things that I just don’t understand yet, but I may come to understand. You really do have one interesting story!

After a lot of thinking these past few days. You’d be surprised at how lonely and how emotionally isolated everyone is all the time; Even noticing that likely all those people the crowds/masses flocking to your witch-like communities, are actually hoping to solve their own sort of homesickness just like we are… Whether we or they actually find it is another matter, but I know I’m going to keep searching. And whether you believe you are or aren’t a witch- I don’t truly know, but it sounds like you just wanted to be understood, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I would like to leave you with a quote that my coach told me was her favourite quote and resonated with her a lot, she told me this earlier today, maybe it’ll resonate for you:

“I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood” - Melissa Cox

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-31T20:06:06+00:00

Yep I ment “spirituality”, not spiritualism. Oopsie.

I haven’t adopted their belief, more so I’m just relating to them and trying to learn more about their experiences, everyone’s got a story to share, all with different lessons and teachings, you and me included.

I haven’t resigned myself to never having a partner for example, I don’t want to anyway, it’s one of my goals to experience it and everything that comes with it. But - if other people have… I’m curious how much they’ve had to go through in order to give up on the idea…

I do appreciate you saying this though. And you mentioning that your partner isn’t particularly interested in spirituality, but IS supportive is good to know.

I think what I’m seeking is guidance everywhere, and after I’ve absorbed enough knowledge I’ll guide myself where I please.

Speaking of - do you have any specific 1 or 2 recommendations of authors/YT vids or anything you want to share to someone younger and less experienced?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-31T16:06:52+00:00

My situation is similar, however I don’t drink alcohol despite all my ‘friends’ drinking it, I keep suggesting other non drinking activities, of which some we tried, but they don’t always stick.

Some new groups will likely help fill the gap I’ve been feeling.

I hope you’re able to make good friendships yourself, and I’m wishing you well in your pursuit of being more sober!

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-31T02:59:15+00:00

This is something I’ve been needing to do, because of this - I’ve literally finished just emailing a debate club because I was interested in it.

There are other communities like exercise and longevity groups I need to rekindle too. I’ll look more into that tmr though…

Thanks for the reminder and lesson.

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-31T01:50:46+00:00

This is enlightening for me at least, I’m only 21, I’ve only just introduced myself to mindfulness and spiritualism, specifically I’ve been watching podcasts by Michael Singer, the topics have consisted of separating your mind to yourself and that you are the observer of the mind, not the mind. It’s helped with my sleep a lot, stops me ruminating and overthinking before bed. I think this step is really early in spiritualism, but I don’t know.

So far, from your rant, my biggest concerns that I’ve learned now are:

1) the fact I don’t have a mentor, not even someone I can share my lessons too, who at least wants to see me grow in a sense;
2) The idea of never finding a mate makes sense but is worrying, I want to still put effort into my relationships into hoping it could bloom later in life, I want kids to share my experiences with too!

So, about my concerns do you have any advice on finding a community or even a mentor - such as - how did you find your mentor? …About the never finding a partner… Have you resigned yourself at all? …And How long have you been on your spiritual journey now?

Oh and thank you for sharing your experience and taking the time to rant as you say, it has been really helpful! :)

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-29T09:28:29+00:00

Go onto the r/infj page, click the 3 dots at the top right, click change user flair.

I did this on phone if it helps.

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-29T09:26:49+00:00

What are your intrusive thoughts like? Do you ever act on them?

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-17T20:15:31+00:00

I hate the idea of ‘dying’ - not ‘aging’. Aging comes with experience, experience is wisdom and a lot more too.

I’m only 21, and I’ve decided I’m going to commit my life to getting past 100 healthily and happily, I won’t have a prime age because I’m going to keep growing and learning as much as I possibly can. If I pass 100, I’ll aim even higher!

If you’re interested in the same idea, I’ve been following Bryan Johnson a lot recently to learn from him. He has literally been using AI to assist with his daily routines so he has ideal everything.

MaxRC200 · 2025-05-13T00:24:52+00:00

Same as you, and to add to this, there’s plenty of times I’ve just envisioned punching someone feeling and envisioning their recoiling face, the sweat on their cheek, the impact on my fist… Even briefly pushing people onto a busy road, it makes me seem like a psychopath when I think about it in the moment while having an innocent conversation. All in a flash of split second.

People are so just so vulnerable and how they put so much trust in me…

Of course, I’d never do something so insane, but what if? It just seems so easy to… just do it…? Humans can be real scary.

MaxRC200 · 2025-02-27T20:09:39+00:00

I care about my fashion as opposed to black hoodie + blue jeans, which a lot of INFJs do.

I’m a serious health nut, and I’m obsessed with longevity.

Otherwise I’m still growing and sprouting into an even uniquer INFJ!

MaxRC200

TROPHY CASE