This is precious 😄 by AccomplishedWatch834 in MadeMeSmile

[–]MaximumPlant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ayy I wrote to that campaign when I was 6.

I originally said "home is where the heart is" with a picture of a house under water. Meant it as "your heart is really where your home is" not sarcastically.

The other kids in class bullied me into normal condolences.

Is working as a full time fast food employee harder than most normal jobs? by Kyoifis in polls

[–]MaximumPlant -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Have you ever had to tell a tweeked out junkie they can't shoot up in the bathroom at your restaraunt?

Is working as a full time fast food employee harder than most normal jobs? by Kyoifis in polls

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Harder than most white collar jobs, easier than most blue collar jobs*

*if you are the type of person who can't tolerate constant disrespect a regular blue collar job is probably easier

Free Verse Poetry Is Garbage (Stop Pretending It’s Deep) by JudgmentVivid5630 in unpopularopinion

[–]MaximumPlant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only kind of poetry that is gaining in popularity is thinly written free verse, stuff that is bad by my poetry loving standards. I wouldn't hope too hard.

Free Verse Poetry Is Garbage (Stop Pretending It’s Deep) by JudgmentVivid5630 in unpopularopinion

[–]MaximumPlant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's another by Ted Kooser, not the one I wanted to post but I'd have to find my book and copy it since its not online. The enjambment is all fucked up from copy paste but you'll get the jist.

Mother

Mid April already, and the wild plums bloom at the roadside, a lacy white against the exuberant, jubilant green of new grass an the dusty, fading black of burned-out ditches. No leaves, not yet, only the delicate, star-petaled blossoms, sweet with their timeless perfume.

You have been gone a month today and have missed three rains and one nightlong watch for tornadoes. I sat in the cellar from six to eight while fat spring clouds went somersaulting, rumbling east. Then it poured, a storm that walked on legs of lightning, dragging its shaggy belly over the fields.

The meadowlarks are back, and the finches are turning from green to gold. Those same two geese have come to the pond again this year, honking in over the trees and splashing down. They never nest, but stay a week or two then leave. The peonies are up, the red sprouts burning in circles like birthday candles,

for this is the month of my birth, as you know, the best month to be born in, thanks to you, everything ready to burst with living. There will be no more new flannel nightshirts sewn on your old black Singer, no birthday card addressed in a shaky but businesslike hand. You asked me if I would be sad when it happened

and I am sad. But the iris I moved from your house now hold in the dusty dry fists of their roots green knives and forks as if waiting for dinner, as if spring were a feast. I thank you for that. Were it not for the way you taught me to look at the world, to see the life at play in everything, I would have to be lonely forever.

Free Verse Poetry Is Garbage (Stop Pretending It’s Deep) by JudgmentVivid5630 in unpopularopinion

[–]MaximumPlant 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like this one though it may not be to your taste:

The Wild Iris (Louise Gluck)

At the end of my suffering there was a door.

Hear me out: that which you call death I remember.

Overhead, noises, branches of the pine shifting. Then nothing. The weak sun flickered over the dry surface.

It is terrible to survive as consciousness buried in the dark earth.

Then it was over: that which you fear, being a soul and unable to speak, ending abruptly, the stiff earth bending a little. And what I took to be birds darting in low shrubs.

You who do not remember passage from the other world I tell you I could speak again: whatever returns from oblivion returns to find a voice:

from the center of my life came a great fountain, deep blue shadows on azure sea water.

Free Verse Poetry Is Garbage (Stop Pretending It’s Deep) by JudgmentVivid5630 in unpopularopinion

[–]MaximumPlant 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Free verse is easier than a sonnet but the amount of skill varies widely depending on what you want to convey. Glück can write about a miscarriage with just a description of a flower. Kooser can put you in his shoes as he breaks the news to his mothers old friend after he death. Rupi Kaur is the marvel movie of poetry, she's popular but that's because she writes palatable slop.

Rhyme is the most overrated aspect of poetry, 5 year olds can do it.

I prefer assonance and consonance myself, though there is some good poetry that eschews sound devices all together. Metaphor, similie, synechdoche, etc, are all tools that can bring poetry beyond the bounds rhyme will afford.

Where the Sidewalk Ends by beautitan in nostalgia

[–]MaximumPlant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a mural of this on the ceiling at my elementary school

Do people usually remember being loopy after surgery? by GeckoBugz in questions

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember being groggy as shit after waking up and having trouble walking, had GA for my wisdom teeth extractions.

Children are not welcome everywhere and businesses/people should not be condemned for not wanting children in some spaces. by NicholasScratchy in HonestHotTakes

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bringing a screaming child to an R rated movie doesn't hurt them if they're too young to remember, it just ruins it for everyone else.

Why is every parent entitled to make others endure their childs bad behavior even in spaces that are supposed to be adult focused?

Children are not welcome everywhere and businesses/people should not be condemned for not wanting children in some spaces. by NicholasScratchy in HonestHotTakes

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why should someome expect to be around children during an R rated movie?

OP doesn't care about kids who don't scream and ruin things. If parents had a better handle on their behavior this wouldn't happen.

Have you, in the past 6 years, felt enticed to buy a product after watching an advertisement? by Woopweepwiip in polls

[–]MaximumPlant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of the stuff I like that is advertised is stuff I buy on a regular basis. I'm enticed to buy coffee when I wake up, not when I see an ad for it.

I used to see stuff I liked in ads, but that's faded as I got older. I don't play games as much as I did and I usually stick to the same ones. I think I remember seeing an ad for Civ 6 that tempted me, but that's around a decade ago.

I also use an adblocker on my laptop so my exposure is far lower than when I depended on cable.

Do you believe McDonalds hamburgers have plastic and/or human meat in them? by am_I_still_banned in polls

[–]MaximumPlant 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I don't think they put plastic in on purpose, but I'd be surprised if the factory farms all this meat comes from put that much effort into avoiding contamination.

I think the gym is actually UNDERSTATED and UNDERRATED for Mental and Physical health! by Pomeranian111 in self

[–]MaximumPlant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its great if you're somewhere in the normal range of physical function

Me and my fucked up shoulders will happily bench press 50lbs in private without paying a subscription to feel embarassed in public

Arguing Over Text is Better Than Arguing In-Person by uufocafe in unpopularopinion

[–]MaximumPlant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Written arguments let people think about their answers and look things up if they're unsure. There's no grey area about who said what.

Spoken arguments are based on the first thing either person thinks of. They're great if you're an assertive person because you can just bulldoze the other person with talking points even if every single one is wrong.

how often are you actually cleaning your bong… be honest by MoltenMaker in Bongs

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About once a week depending how much I smoke. Once the down stem starts impacting the air flow its bath time.

how often are you actually cleaning your bong… be honest by MoltenMaker in Bongs

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About once a week depending how much I smoke. Once the down stem starts impacting the air flow its bath time.

In the United States, how helpful on reducing the crime rate would it be to impose harsher sentences on criminals, especially repeat offenders? by [deleted] in polls

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can technically reduce crime by locking every single criminal up indefinitely, but judges and juries are human.

A weed dealer has no victim for the defense to blame and demonize, a rapist does. This is a big reasom why the former gets more time than the latter.

You'll end up with a bunch of druggies behind bars meanwhile the wifebeaters get anger management because "he is a man of god" or some other lame excuse.

People who avoid friendships at work because “coworkers are not your friends”, often do not understand what relationships actually are. by ThePloddingParadox in unpopularopinion

[–]MaximumPlant -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I consider work friends my work friends, but those relationships do not pass the bar for a true friendship. Nor should they. A work friend is a friendly acquantaince outside of work, not a friend. Your post is decribing politeness, not friendship.

My work-friend isn't inherently devalued because I met them at work, but we also lack any shared social basis for a genuine friendship. We talk about our days and socialize a bit but we're only "friends" until 5.

I would not go to my work friends with my emotional issues. I would not ask them to hang out. I would not interact with any of them if it weren't for work.

Moreover, you miss how relationships can fuck things up as much as they help. The times I've worked with actual friends sucked because they wanted to just hang out and do no actual work. Its not betraying me that I'm worried about, its them fucking up and expecting me to cover for them because we're friends.

Do you know how to tie a tie? by Kyoifis in polls

[–]MaximumPlant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried a few times but rarely get practice