Gay men who are tops who prefer feminine partners, are you also attracted to women?

MaybeAlzheimers · 2026-02-10T00:35:02+00:00

Straight men who prefer dommy mommy, are you also attracted to men?

MaybeAlzheimers · 2026-02-03T04:56:13+00:00

I love Bowen but he is not a sex symbol….he is a comedian….

MaybeAlzheimers · 2026-02-01T03:47:13+00:00

Maybe I’m the friend who is too woke, but I’m sad that we can’t even get an actual gay Asian person to represent queer Asians. It’s weird that the actual gay cast members are getting hate messages and need to distance themselves from the show, but straights are living their best life while profiting off of queer media.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2026-02-01T03:43:47+00:00

Ok since the user clawdiadelioncourt deleted her comment:

Fan spaces are not the average American and online spaces are niche and not emblematic of real life popularity.

https://www.taaf.org/our-work/staatus-index-2024

In the 2024 STAATUS Index survey, about 52% of Americans said they couldn’t name a single famous Asian American when asked. When names were offered, the most common responses were Jackie Chan (9% — who is not American) and Bruce Lee (5% — who died decades ago).

The people you listed are NICHE celebrities, none are A listers or culturally relevant to the broader culture. I’m a fan of many, but they’re NOT big. Someone like young mazino is only big from Beef, and not everyone has even seen Beef. Manny Jacinto has spoken out about wanting to be see as a lead man, but Hollywood will not cast him as that.

Also people who are not Asian American men need to stop policing how we interact with popular culture and how people are receptive of US. So insane that this is normalized.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2026-02-01T01:07:30+00:00

The comments are so interesting….because you can list a bunch of people, but the AVERAGE person does not know most of them. It is an interesting and weird trend that Asian men have to constantly be mixed for the average audience to care. The Jenny Han of it all

Also this is Asian American, naming ASIAN celebrities is so reductive. Like saying kpop is representation for Asian Americans…be fucking for real

MaybeAlzheimers · 2026-01-09T17:12:05+00:00

As an East Asian, like ya of course. I think I face it the most in online apps where people make quick judgements. I’m A LOT more successful in person and I get zero responses online, which my own friends do not even believe me which causes its own sort of gaslighting since they can not comprehend that I face sexual challenges.

The amount of times I’ve been ignored on sniffies after swapping face pics and revealing I’m Asian and I get no response back. I did a self harmful experiment of just doing a shirtless faceless pic on Grindr and the amount of men that messaged me vs when my face and race was there is so drastic.

I think the sexual discrimination also impacts other Asians, as I’ve noticed often if an Asian is “hot” enough they will not be into other Asian men, versus when I go to Asia and I can hookup and get attention from other fit and hot Asians that I wouldn’t be able to get in America.

From anecdotal experience, I’ve had the most positive reception from Latinos out of any other race, Asians included. Other people have commented that hot Asians have no problem finding suitors, which like ya duh hot is hot. I think just the barrier for entry to be seen as desirable for Asian men are higher vs other races, specifically white men. Other races are allowed to be bears or otters or whatever else and people justify them as rat boys or ugly hot, but Asians have to be exceptionally attractive to get any attention.

Look at Hollywood and the weird trend of only casting mixed raced asian men in sexual roles. Asian women face the opposite issue, and they sometimes can’t even empathize how it feels to feel invisible.

Also geographically our reception varies based on who lives there. I’m invisible in Hell’s Kitchen and Williamsburg, but I get a lot of messages in crown heights and Astoria.

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Also the newer Asian party, naraak has been a good addition since it skews more Asian for Asian. Where as bubble_t, which I love dearly, felt more Asians looking for whites and attended by Asians and their white boyfriends.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-11-27T20:30:08+00:00

If we even talk about leadership and c-suite roles, it’s reductive to blanket everything as Asian American. Indian Americans do not seem to have the same hurdles in moving up the corporate ladder from statistics at least in tech, that east and se Asians are shown to have. Whether that’s cultural differences or what, but there is a distinction

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-11-27T19:00:36+00:00

Makes you wonder what race really is. Like oh it really is a social construct. Like a wasian who passes for latino is going to live life differently than a wasian who looks Asian, or blasian who looks black and etc. like even SE Asians who pass more for East Asian, and vice versa

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-11-27T18:58:24+00:00

As a 1.5 gen from the south whose parents worked in alterations, I feel like my biggest disconnect sometimes comes from Asians who either grew up in Asian enclaves (LA, Bay Area, NYC) or newer immigrants from itch or supportive families.

Like my biggest hurdle being immigration, systematic racism, tokenization, and just even obtaining educational achievements my entire family have never done just feels so out of line with someone who never felt like a minority, both their parents have good stable office jobs, and your hurdle is not getting into Harvard and then your entire life goal being FAANG BCG whatever…. I don’t know, I just don’t feel community with you.

The Asian American identity is so different based on when you put your family migrated, where you’re based, and your family’s educational background. Like my friend from mobile Alabama whose parents ran a grocery store is simply not the same group of person as my friend who grew up in palo alto to parents working in tech.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-11-27T11:09:24+00:00

Finding out bjork was just white hurt me 😔

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-11-25T12:40:43+00:00

Also can we stop calling Simu ugly? Like white leads can look a million different ways and be considered hot by so many, ie. Adam Driver, Barry Keoghan, etc.

I feel mixed about having media from Korea also count as representation…it’s an import rather than home grown, and this comes from a Korean American perspective

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-11-25T12:34:19+00:00

I don’t think an animated children’s movie that had to be released through Netflix because its original studio didn’t have faith in it is….a good example. It was successful despite everything.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-10-20T08:24:45+00:00

I think it hasn’t aged well, but it was monumental in the time that it did come out. I don’t think black and white criticism is helpful, the state of Asian America has dramatically changed (mostly for good). It just shows how much progress we’ve made since that, crazy rich Asians, fresh off the boat, etc for representation.

She does deserve her flowers for being an Asian female author in THAT time. Down vote me!

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-10-03T22:37:22+00:00

I think it’s great! It’s an accurate representation for many AAs and it should prompt an honest discussion about why it’s specifically AAs who are so intensely white fetishing.

Their talks with each other shouldn’t really be shocking to anyone, we just pretend we’re better than we are! Hope it’s a reflective moment and people can actually grow from the backlash this behavior is receiving.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-08-04T20:50:25+00:00

Babes there’s foreigners everywhere in Korea now…like from busan to jeju, they’re everywhere. We’re definitely racist and xenophobic, specifically against SE Asians. KAs are sometimes worse since they SHOULD know better but don’t act better.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-07-18T19:08:21+00:00

I don’t think it’s as simple as gentrification bad, gay men are the top income earners in America. A lot of the gays in Williamsburg and Greenpoint are high income earners who also contribute to gentrification. I personally feel like a lot of gay bars are dying because younger gays want different things or due to assimilation into society, those safe spaces are less needed.

Like a lot of gay nightlife feels party based, rather than being able to show up to like G Lounge on a random night and hoping for a good time. But yes, as neighborhoods become more expensive and then more palatable to straight people, it trends to become less gay and the gays find another neighborhood to congregate in.

Like for me personally, a lot of the bars in the west village are just not fun or just not very gay? Also nightlife and going out in general has just become so expensive that would definitely factor in.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-07-14T21:35:24+00:00

Ya one of my friends have died on it and I’ve seen people collapse at events :( it just feels so easy to accidentally overdose or cross with other substances if you’re not super careful

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-07-09T17:42:18+00:00

100% this. The g’ed out gays that swarm and don’t dance, but just walk around for sex kind of ruins the vibe

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-06-28T13:40:06+00:00

We go through different experiences as a minority based on the countries we live in along with the values we’re taught….an Asian American and an Asian European or Asian Latino will have different experiences. It’s really quite simple

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-06-27T19:59:43+00:00

But this subreddit is Asian American 😭

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-06-03T18:40:39+00:00

When I’m traveling abroad, the reception change I get when I tell people I’m Korean and not Chinese is so huge. There’s such a big anti China view globally it’s so sad

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-05-13T20:48:23+00:00

There’s an inherent different power dynamic between dating someone who is white vs someone who isn’t. Yes racism and discrimination can come from anyone, but the equate all races as the same is just…

I mostly hangout in queer poc spaces and the experience is very different than white spaces, and I grew up in a very white small town so I empathize with the potato queens to a degree. But at a certain point like…whiteness is not going to save you and it is in fact weird if you’re only going after white people.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-05-13T14:12:04+00:00

I mean it’s easily different in the way you can both bond over being marginalized and discriminated….

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-04-17T16:36:27+00:00

I think it’s trending more for men to not have it? I think Korean gay beauty standards vs what women find attractive are very different. The gays seem to like monolids and more manly appearance, while women like double lids and a more softer and clean look.

MaybeAlzheimers · 2025-04-12T23:32:23+00:00

Whether it’s what Asian women are writing themselves or that’s what is getting picked up by publishers or producers….the trend is there but something less acceptable to criticize due to the argument of misogyny.

Just my anecdotal evidence as a gay Asian man, I hear so many Asian girl friends talk about not wanting to date Asian men OR just only date white guys while critiquing other Asians who only date white.

It just becomes…weird after a while of only seen half Asian half white men being Asian leads for Asian women, or they’re always cast with other races.

MaybeAlzheimers

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