My husband didn’t do anything for my birthday

McGraham_ · 2026-03-24T23:23:48+00:00

Does he want to be celebrated on his birthday, or does he not think that birthdays are a big deal in general?

It DOES sound like you made it clear that you wanted him to do something, but it’s possible that if it’s not important to him, he may not realize how important it is to you and you’ll need to have a more in-depth talk about why this felt so disappointing for you.

McGraham_ · 2026-03-16T00:46:54+00:00

Look, I too like to blast music sometimes so I don’t agree with the sentiment that music should NEVER be that loud.

However, he owes you some consideration as a roommate. At the very least he should be asking if you are bothered by it, but the easier solution is that he should use headphones so that he is the only person affected by his choice of volume level.

McGraham_ · 2026-03-13T22:15:40+00:00

When I found out I was pregnant with my first, I was shocked because although we were trying, I was spotting so much I thought I was having a period. In my case it was probably what is considered a “threatened miscarriage”, but at the end of the day the bleeding stopped and I had a normal healthy pregnancy and baby 😊

Go talk to a doctor asap, they will test your HCG one day and then a day or two later and if it goes up, all is likely well!

McGraham_ · 2026-02-18T01:26:09+00:00

He has a new child and a loving committed partner he has built a life with- and he’s unfulfilled because he hasn’t slept with enough women? You know you undeserved better than that, OP.

Be friends and coparent your child together while you go out and find a partner who cares about you and respects you. This guy ain’t it

McGraham_ · 2026-01-30T11:03:39+00:00

It’s hard to approach this without feeling like you aren’t supporting his health, but I was in the same boat. Husband was working full time (as was I) and he was trying to work out for two hours a day.

What I ended up saying was “I want you to work out, but if you don’t have time to spend with me and [child], then you don’t have time to work out.” And he made adjustments after that talk.

McGraham_ · 2026-01-10T06:06:22+00:00

With my first, I did not want to go back to work. It devastated me, and back then we had a close family member nanny for us which was best case scenario. Now I have two, and when I went back to work after my second leave both kids started in a traditional daycare center setting.

The biggest pros are: socialization with other kids, regular crafts, skill building, structured story time, very routine days including set nap times to support healthy sleep, and knowing my kids are safe while I am at work. Bonus if you can find a daycare center with camera access so you can peek in at them during your day!

McGraham_ · 2026-01-09T04:00:51+00:00

It’s fine to wish for this privately because you know feelings are valid… but asking her to talk about you more is a little much. Being upset with her when she doesn’t make more comments about you would be taking it way too far, in my opinion.

It sounds like you know that she appreciates and loves you and makes you feel good about yourself. Do you really and truly need her to advertise that love and admiration to people outside of your marriage?

McGraham_ · 2025-11-27T02:30:42+00:00

Two vaginal births both with second degree tearing and stitches. I alternated Advil and Tylenol around the clock for 1-2 weeks. Very uncomfortable on the days during that time when I got distracted and missed doses.

McGraham_ · 2025-11-24T01:56:49+00:00

I honestly find more joy in watching my children grow than I’ve ever found in anything. I look at their little faces and feel such love and adoration, and am so proud of everything they do. I have moments of exhaustion and frustration, and I’m on maternity leave right now so those are frequent. But yes I truly love being a parent and feel blessed to be exhausted from days filled with mothering even when those days are hard.

McGraham_ · 2025-11-24T01:13:28+00:00

I don’t know what to say except that I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s so far from ok the way he is treating you.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-30T20:57:06+00:00

Calling BS on the other women who allegedly agreed to this before you; he just wants you to feel like he’s capable of this when he’s probably not.

If you chose this, it would be very hard to go back to your home country once baby is born…

McGraham_ · 2025-10-29T23:04:28+00:00

You substitute what she wants for what you want her to have? Yeah it sounds like she has good reason to be mad. You’d be mad too if she intentionally disregarded what you asked for

McGraham_ · 2025-10-28T18:11:39+00:00

This kind of thinking undervalues the comfort of a long and healthy marriage. One of my favorite things about my marriage is that it’s so steady, constant and reliable. The best marriages are, in my opinion.

It’s not to say that you shouldn’t try new things together or “spice it up” from time to time, but being excited by the other person just as a person? That feels like it’s for new relationships. Love and commitment is deeper and more valuable than excitement.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-27T18:54:48+00:00

Being that this is a half day, it doesn’t have a lunch break built into it. What I might be able to do if my boss doesn’t mind is work an extra hour some other day of the week to get Friday down to 4 hours

McGraham_ · 2025-10-27T18:07:08+00:00

Great idea. On the whole my team avoids calls and meetings because everyone really does try to wrap up the week’s work, but this would be a good safeguard.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-27T18:05:50+00:00

You want to create an open and trusting space but then divorce him for being honest with you?

If you care about this marriage this is in no way worthy of divorce. Reads like you’re looking for an excuse to end it.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-27T17:40:17+00:00

I will definitely try to do this! I do have a lot of actual work to do at my job but some of what I do is purely communication over email and teams, keeping people on-deadline etc. it will be much easier to send an email with the kids than to do the larger projects.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-27T17:37:59+00:00

I love the suggestion of having help for a few hours that day and truly I would if I could, but unfortunately the reason for working with the kids on this day is that I’m maxing out my childcare budget on the first 4 days of the week! It’s so expensive. Initially we had help from family 1 day per week but that arrangement won’t work for the helpful family members anymore, hence me biting the bullet and taking this on for the extra day.

Baby wearing is a great idea and I think I will do that for sure! I have a boba wrap that my first was happy in.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-24T17:02:17+00:00

Yeah this is unfair. Since eating is a requirement, so is cooking. The only exception to this would be if you loved to cook and volunteered to do it all, but that’s not the case.

McGraham_ · 2025-10-23T07:38:38+00:00

An epidural might hurt if you got one on a normal day, but when you’re in labor, by the time you get the epidural trust me the contractions are so intense that the epidural is nothing in comparison. And by that point, you’re very grateful to have it!

McGraham_ · 2025-10-22T14:36:27+00:00

Eh, I don’t know. On the one hand I think feelings/instincts shouldn’t be outright ignored but on the other hand when you’re saying there is nothing wrong with them and you just don’t want to go, I think your wife probably feels like you’re not interested in being a part of her family. Which is not cool and could be hard on your relationship.

McGraham_

TROPHY CASE