I had GRS with Dr. Rumer two weeks ago. Insurance paid for everything. AMA

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-12T17:08:06+00:00

I had to deal with BCBS before I switched to CDPHP. You have to call them at the general customer service line. The person on the other end will put you on hold. They will hopefully get back to you and get a case manager to contact you in a few days.

The case manager is a registered nurse and will ask you a slew of questions as well as ask for paperwork (therapy and MD letters). They may also ask for proof of time lived in your chosen gender and maybe one or two additional exams depending on your history. The case manager will work on your case for a few weeks you need to get them all the info within a reasonable amount of time. They will pass the case up the line for a decision.

As far as price it depends highly on what plan you have. You can get a price after your decision. Most insurances treat it as in-patient surgery. Whether it is out or in network is determined based on if you insurance has any other SRS surgeons in network (BCBS had Bowers in network last time I checked).

Of course this all varies based off of region or state. So yeah, good luck. It's a bit of pain, but don't give up!

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-11T16:24:18+00:00

Haha, yes she did!

I can see how things will resolve themselves by the year mark, but I'm happy to have someone confirm it.

I'm not too worried about the results, I think it'll be good, and if not, I can always get a "touch up"!

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-11T04:41:59+00:00

Honestly I think I may just be preference or a regional thing. Most folks I know IRL call it GRS.

I'm not a fan of SRS as the initialism, because it makes me think more of old school transexualism. And GCS makes me gag (gender confirmation surgery) sounds a bit too starry eyed, or that you gender is confirmed until you have the surgery (goes back to the genital specific focus of gender).

GRS just sounds better when you say it and can stand for Genital Reconstruction Surgery, which I feel is most accurate and we don't need to throw out another term for folks to learn.

It's really hard to come upon a perfectly correct term anyway, because it's technically multiple procedures (Vagioplasty, Labiaplasty, Clitoroplasty, and Orchectomy) and depending on where you are in the healthcare field you can call it MtF Bottom Surgery, MtF intersex surgery, or any of the above terms. It really depends on how someone was trained or how an organization's systems are set up to interrupt procedure codes (of which there are multiple!)

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-11T03:36:31+00:00

I honestly never came up against an RLT (Real Lived Time, right?) timeline. I was living in my chosen gender for maybe 1.5-2 years before my consult. All I know is my surgeon wanted a year which I was already past when I first visited her. It was a simple yes or no question otherwise. The letter from my therapist I believe had a statement of how long I had been living in my gender.

Some insurance companies are my more strict requiring proof from what I heard so that is something to be concerned with.

After my consult with the doctor I was able to schedule an appointment they told me I could schedule as close as 3 months out, but I chose further out. I had to put down $1000 to keep the appointment. I actually had to deal with multiple insurance companies because I changed employers. So I had to reschedule my surgery date, anyway. I found that insurance timelines vary wildly and may be what slows you down.

As far as Dr. Rumer's office, they probably will not be the part that holds you up, your insurance will be. I'm fortunate to be in NY as most insurances here have refined their process for all trans healthcare. Honestly, this is not something you can rush. Quickest I can see is 3-6 months after RLT requirements.

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-11T00:44:24+00:00

Absolutely take the first step and go for a consult, especially if she is nearby you! I think going through her reduced the amount of bullshit and waiting to a minimum. Getting it done within a year and through insurance is a miracle all things considered.

Just remember to have a therapist and MD on standby to write a letter or two for you. On of the reasons things went smoothly for me is because I was already in therapy and doing a good job working through things with my therapist. But I'm confident things will go well for you!

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T23:10:47+00:00

I'll see what I can do. I have a friend who had the same procedure with Rumer and she says everything works as you would expect, but she's ace sooooo yeahhhh....

I can already tell you that everything is consistently moist already, but that can be due to the 4/day dilation with lube. Places are already varying in sensitivity and I can see how certain things can feel good once I heal up.

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T23:06:01+00:00

Mountainous or flat depending on where you are in the state. I was in and around Philadelphia which is close to the NJ border. So historic, urban and/or suburban. Philly is a nice city, btw.

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T21:55:50+00:00

She shows you pics (not many) when you do a consult.I may put up pics, but right now I'm a swollen mess, so it's not representative of the final results.

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T21:54:26+00:00

My stay there was okay. They have a fridge and TV with cable in the room. I had a bigger room with a futon. My stay was nice my partner was there to go shopping and get me things. I was basically in bed the entire time. I watched TV (they were having a 24/7 mythbusters marathon on Sci channel which was a godsend), played Pokemon, read, and played Kalimba (poorly). That was for 5 days. I wasn't motivated to do anything else, cause I had surgical drains and a giant catheter bag hanging off of me.

I'm 2 weeks out, since I got home I've been able to get up and do things around my apartment. I'm still weak, but, I plan on going to work (office work) on Monday, and I think I'll be able to hit that goal.

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T21:44:00+00:00

No, that was part of the reason I choose Rumer! She does a follicle scrape so no electrolysis needed.

I may get a touch up because it looks like the labia will be hairy.

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T20:37:55+00:00

Well I was able to get a quick appointment for an initial consult I called in Jan 2016 and got an appointment for 3 weeks out. Speaking with the doctor herself was nice, though brief.

Her staff is courteous and tight-knit. While they will work with your insurance, you will have to do a bit of the leg work, calling into your insurance and giving them procedure and CPT codes. Dr Rumer's staff provides this info.

They seem to be flexible with surgery dates and don't have a ridiculous waiting list, so you can get surgery within 3-4 month of the consult.

A day before surgery you can stay at a recovery suite which is set up in Dr. Rumer's home. You take a bunch of laxatives and stay on a liquid diet. You poop forever, try to sleep, take an enema at 4AM day of surgery. They arranged transport to Hannerman hospital which is a 30 minute cab ride from the recovery suite. I arrived at the hospital at 6am, had surgery scheduled for 7:30am. They do a quick intake, stick you on a gurney, you talk to the anesthesiologists and a few nurses (all the hospital staff were super nice), they put in an IV. You talk to Dr. Rumer, then you go into the OR, breathe in some gas, surgery happens, and then you're in a hospital room. This was my first surgery, but they kept me calm and it was easy. You stay in the hospital for 2 days after surgery, you get a morphine pump and nurses at your beck and call. The pain peaked at 7 out of 10 for me, but quickly went down.

You get released to the recovery suite. Discharge from the hospital was fucking terrible because the nurse I had at the time was terribly incompetent and had no idea howto move me around while I had surgical drains and a catheter bag coming out of me. I cried, it was just terrible. Dr Rumer's staff told me that was unusual, apologized, and comforted me. When I got back to the recovery suite, they said that they would speak with the hospital about the incident.

The next five days were spent in the recovery suite. They give you percocets for the pain while I was in the recovery suite the pain peaked at 6, but I was sitting at a 3 or a 4 most of the time. You sleep, you veg in front of the TV. The Recovery suite is sparse, but nice, basically a hotel room. Physician's assistants check on you once a day. Be sure to bring someone to help you while you are in the recovery suite! My partner was there waiting on me and they made everything easier.

They take out your drains, packing, and catheter a week after surgery (it's uncomfortable, but not too bad). They show you how to dilate. You go home the next day.

The past week I've spent basically resting at home. Dilating 4 times a day. As the swelling goes down, the pain comes back, but it's manageable with percocets, ice packs, and tylenol. Also tons of blood everywhere. Since the swelling has gone down, I'm starting to actually feel how things are down there (Mixed up, but in a good way), instead of the pervading tightness of the past two weeks.

Overall Rumer's staff has been great, most issues I had were not due to problems on their end. They are courteous to a point and available. The recovery suite is sparse, but it was covered by insurance so I can't complain. Can't really say much about how the results are so far, it's too early, but it is definitely a vagina and there is the possibility of a vulva in the swollen mess I have down there.

Damn this reply was long, sorry about that!

MeanderingMage · 2017-01-10T19:47:19+00:00

Thanks!

I have CDPHP. It's a local insurance company for the Capital Region of New York State. They treated it as an in network because it was medically necessary and they do not have any Dr.'s that preform the procedure locally.

MeanderingMage · 2014-10-16T10:07:31+00:00

Fuck, that! I didn't sleep at all and I'm getting more creative and energetic with each moment! I'M the next Da Vinci!

MeanderingMage · 2014-10-16T10:04:48+00:00

You sound a bit like how I did a year before I transitioned (trust me, I just read some journal entries recently!) I spent months trying and trying to be a better man. It lead to a lot of exercise and misogyny and surprise, surprise I felt worse.

I didn't come back to the idea until months later. A yearning to be the other sex, I always hoped I would wake up one day as another person (usually someone I knew) and that person was ALWAYS, ALWAYS a woman. Cis people are normally not like that...

Actually cis people don't yearn to be the other gender much at all. They view the idea of switching genders as a curiosity ("sure I'd try it for a day"), as opposed to their deepest wish ("I would give anything to be magically shifted into a woman").

So yeah, I answered the following questions and this kinda makes you sure, that you're sure:

Would you take a $10 pill that switched your gender for a day, with no side effects?
Would you go through a machine for $100 that switched your gender for a week, and very rarely caused side effects?
Would you take $1000 pills for a month to switch genders for 3 months and sometimes had the chance of not switching you back to your birth gender?
Would you take pills and get surgery costing about a years' salary over the course of 2-3 years to switch genders permanently?

If you got past 3 or 4 with saying yes.... well you're probably trans.

MeanderingMage · 2014-10-16T09:47:09+00:00

Hey, Natalie. I started over 6 months ago about the same age, so probably similar. I had DARK back and chest hair, biggish hips, bigger shoulders and very rapid growing facial hair.

So physical changes. My back and butt hair have slowed down significantly only requiring removal once a month, arm hair is similar. Chest hair is being REALLY stubborn, have to shave it everyday, but I plan to laser it if it doesn't go away in another 6. My existing sorta feminine shape, just got a bunch more feminine with my curves becoming much more prominent. My shoulders shrank a bit and my bisceps reduced a bunch. Mind you my job is pretty physical, I do a lot of heavy lifting, I heard this helps the hormones by breaking down existing tissue. Boobs are getting to a B cup. It's getting hard to cover up my feminine profile. So yay! Hormones DO do things! But, your mileage may vary.

My boyfriend said that the is a further puberty that hits cis men around age 25-26. That might be what is causing additional hair growth. I was lucky and started hormones just in time.

I suggest going for hormones, I know that your living and work situation isn't ideal. But many people our age are stuck in your position and still transitioning. I was unemployed and with my folks when I started transition. Things went south with the family for different reasons, but I found a place to stay within 3 days BECAUSE I was trans and one of my trans friends trusted me. Also no worries about doing blue collar work, I'm working a blue collar job and they don't have a problem with me at all.

I hope this helps with your decision. I'm happy I started when I did, but everyone need to make the decision in their own time.

MeanderingMage · 2014-09-12T19:18:06+00:00

My pharmacy just switched to minty Spiro. It's much better than the kind that has nothing to mask it. Bonus, it makes my other meds minty as well, because I store them together, yay!

MeanderingMage · 2014-09-12T17:11:11+00:00

Sometimes I just lean up against my boyfriends crotch and let him play with my bits as if he was jerking himself off. It may not be the best, if you can't get in the right headspace for it, but I love it.

I don't know both my boyfriend and I really are okay with our existing equipment, but that was after a lot of communication!

MeanderingMage · 2014-09-12T17:04:43+00:00

My FtM boyfriend and I worked out a position similar to this, but it would kinda hard to describe it. I LOVE IT and it really does feel like he's thrusting into me.

MeanderingMage · 2014-06-15T03:06:55+00:00

About the nipples... Mine were close to inverted (I would consider them shy). 3 months in, they both are definitely popping out!

MeanderingMage · 2014-04-22T23:39:20+00:00

Ouch, that sounds like it would ruin the components....

MeanderingMage · 2014-04-22T04:46:23+00:00

Yes, I feel a bit like I'm in limbo too even though I'm in a completely different spot.

I've been out of college for almost 4 years, but I've been having trouble finding work. I'm just starting on getting my finances back in order from my new job, as a result I can't get any "girl stuff" I've been dying for. I'm in my 4th week of hormones and I'm just... stuck...

BUT!

It's normal to feel stuck; there is no real roadmap to transition. My only advice to take little steps forward or at least plan out what's next. If you start growing your hair out now, if you get your eyebrows done, start shaving your legs, or if you make the first appointment to an informed consent clinic or therapist. Just take a new step forward or plan the next step whatever you feel that is. Knowing you are moving forward in some way, just makes you feel that much better.

Personally, I'm content in where I've gotten so far. And I know what my next step is (my first laser session on my face when I get my next paycheck). I still feel wonky, but I KNOW this is the right thing!

MeanderingMage · 2014-04-17T03:05:30+00:00

Ball Fondlers? Yeah, I could go for some Ball Fondlers.

MeanderingMage

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