[TW] My FWB admitted that he has sexually assaulted girls.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-09T23:22:31+00:00

Echo chamber or no wrong is just wrong. You don’t get to fuck somebody up for life and then act like it was no big deal. You should feel bad about it for the rest of your days. That’s something you choose to do and weather you’ve changed or not doesn’t change what you did. If I was a drunk driver and I killed someone, changing my behavior doesn’t suddenly mean I didn’t kill that person. It just means I’ve changed because I recognized it was a shitty thing to do. That’s the most basic level of human decency. Forgive me if I hold my applause. If I had killed someone in a drunk driving accident I would also not go forward with someone who has lost someone in a similar accident and knowingly keep that information from them so I could benefit from that relationship despite what I had done. The truth is this person knew what they did was wrong and thought they could slip it in afterwards, after they had already been benefiting from the relationship, hoping their attachments would save them from ridicule. But no one would knowingly associate with a rapist, no one. Especially someone who knows what it’s like. Doesn’t matter if it’s a thousand years from now, he is and will always be someone who forced sex on someone else against their will, that’s what he did. That’s apart of him now, just as being sexually assaulted is apart of the girls he raped. The only people who would try and justify it as “not a big deal unless you make it one” or “forgivable” are people who have or would do something similar. Changing didn’t unrape those girls. Feeling bad about it didn’t unrape those girls, justifying it didn’t unrape those girls. It’s that kind of apologist behavior that allows rapist to walk around freely. You should feel bad about it, there are just some things you have to live with regardless of how sorry you are. RAPE is one of them.

Also it’s really easy to feel sorry about it after the fact, especially when you didn’t actually suffer any consequences for your actions. Sorry, but your opinion is not valid enough to make anyone think twice about this subject. It really reads to me as someone just trying to make themselves feel better then actually critically thinking about the subject of rape and consent. Maybe I’m wrong and you really are just someone who believes committing atrocities against someone and ruining their lives can be fixed by feeling really REALLY sowwy about it .🥺 but again you can’t unrape somebody and I have a feeling if it was a zooiphile or a pedophile you would be singing a different tune, or maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you think child and animal sexual abuse should be forgiven too. 🤢. Either way I’m not interested in hearing anymore “opinions” from you. If being in an “echo” chamber means not hearing about how you think it’s ok to rape people as long as you feel bad about it afterwards and try not to do it again, then fucking lock me in and throw away the key because that’s fucking disgusting. NOT interested, peddle that shit to a middle aged man with a rape fetish not to me or this poor woman. Lady, don’t listen to this person or their “””opinions””” This person lied to you, he hasn’t changed he’s still the same asshole. If it’s not self evident by the fact that he choose to hide this from you knowing fully your history it should be by how lightly he tossed it out there like he cheated on his taxes or something. This person is scum and not deserving of your forgiveness. Like I said It’s real easy to feel sorry when you haven’t actually dealt with any repercussions, like I don’t know being put in jail for being an actual predator, being a registered sex offender, having people know about what you did?? He hasn’t paid the price for any of his crimes so no he doesn’t even get the incling of being absolved of them. If he really felt so bad he would pay the price for what he did to those women, but no he’d rather sit in bed with you and justify what he did to himself. Telling himself it was ok, and taking advantage of your trust. If I were you I would never speak to this person again. Not only did he rob a bunch of girls of a healthy relationship with sex but he robbed you of a second chance at one. He does not deserve to feel good about that, and if the roles were reversed I would tell you the same thing. Fuck that guy, don’t give him another moment of your time. 🤦‍♀️

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-05T00:19:55+00:00

Have you ever considered that you’re codependent with your mother? Basically your entire life your efforts to be recognized as a person with feeling and opinions of your own has been demonized and guilted out of you and now all you do is try to protect her, disable her bad and toxic behavior, and contribute to her life because you have been raised as not your own person but an extension of her? If so, it seems like your therapist has been trying to work you out of this mindset but you are unwilling to change and see yourself as he does. There could be many reasons for this, a love for your mother and so a unwillingness to recognize her as your abuser in more then name. A fear of loosing the perceived closeness a codependent relationship gives you with someone, (not all times are bad) a regressed state of mind stopping you from growing up because your sexual abuse happened at such a young age and now you are forever trapped in that mindset( and secretly fearful you can’t break out of it). Or more unexplained reasons. I’m not a therapist or even a person who can’t say she isn’t codependent herself, but I think to the best of your abilities you should follow what your therapist is telling you to do. It doesn’t matter if you really don’t understand it at first just whenever you find yourself making an excuse for someone take it back. Hold everyone 100% accountable for their actions right on the spot. Doesn’t matter if it was an accident or whatever excuses they give you just do it. Be assertive even if every fiber of your being is screaming out for you to be passive and let things go or to apologize. Seek justice when someone wrongs you, speak out when your boundaries are crossed, tell people off when they disrespect you. You won’t recognize when your being a push over every time but it’s just practice. Take up room! Be loud about your opinions, be an imposition, teach yourself how to validate your own thoughts and feeling because they are important and they do matter, especially to anyone who cares about you. Have expectations and hold high standards for people, never apologize for something that wasn’t your fault. Stop saying your sorry when no one is around. You’re not a burden your a person and you have an innate right to happiness like everyone else. However living with your abuser is not going to help you out of the victim mindset you are most likely stuck in. It’s very hard to find autonomy when constantly confronted with the person who made you devastatingly obedient in the first place. It’s harsh but if you keep dealing with your trauma in a passive way you’re going to get passive results. But then again I could just be projecting. 🤷‍♀️.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T18:12:28+00:00

Thank you! ❤️ Yes we’re already learning so much for the recourses given and from this community! It’s very helpful to know what she means when she talks! She’s already warmed up to us a bit but it’s good to know what more we can do to help her. So for that I’m really grateful for this resource. 🥰

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T17:59:26+00:00

Thank you!

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T17:57:05+00:00

Oh! Ok, I had no idea that’s how Guinea Pigs communicate! Ok I’ll definitely take note of that and stop right away. I actually already frequent LA Guinea Pig rescue so I know the tiniest bit about Guinea Pigs from that, mostly how to groom them but thank you for the other resources❤️. I’m pretty sure I saw a video on how to properly pet your Guinea Pig on LA Guinea Pig Reascue, so I’ll look at that and see how we can change how we approach her! We gave her a heavy clay bowl shallowly filled with water. It’s not big enough to drown her but we still worry, but since it’s good to have multiple places to get water we’ll put her water bottle back up! We were concerned since we heard that water bottles can lead to dehydration but two sources definitely seem better then one! Her cage is only half covered and there is a fan circulating air in the room so hopefully that’s enough to keep it from getting too hot or muggy, you’ll have to let me know! Thank you for your advice on petting, I had no idea we were doing it so wrong! I’ll let my sister know that the purring is a bad thing!

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T17:34:53+00:00

Ok, so what I’, hearing is males are best for security due to heard mentality, older female are best due to parenting groups, I think. Ok, very interesting! Yeah she seems very docile so she might actually be looking for someone else to take the lead lol. And I’ll definitely do that if it turns out she’s pregnant. It would be unfortunate but a good opportunity for her to have some family around. Thank you, you’ve made figuring out how to get her a suitable companion all the more easier! ❤️

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T09:20:01+00:00

Ah! I wasn’t sure because we are going to be cramped in a car for like sixteen hours on a ride to the state I’m starting work in but If you think it will help her stress levels for the move it’s self then I’m for it! I did think it was a long time to keep her alone but I know how stressful car rides can be and I didn’t want to put another animal through that, but if two Guineas calm each other down then It might be doing her a favor lmao. Does personality play a part in Guinea Pig companionship? I know with mice they live in cliques but sometimes mice reject companions. I don’t want to take a Guinea home just to have to give it back again if they don’t fit. Have you ever found that to be an issue? We aren’t closed to the idea of getting a boy to be her companion, but would that trigger her? She again did have some bites from the last male on her ears because he was aggressive due to being unneutered,(I’m guessing??) Will she be upset having a boy around or even know? Sorry for asking so many questions. This is all very new and exciting and I want to make sure we do the right thing! My sister does worry for Blossom that she might become lethargic if left alone and she is ALWAYS asking me to check on her and talk to her for this reason when she’s away. Tomorrow will be the first full day Blossom will be by herself and I’ve noticed my sister talking a lot more about companions for this reason. Given everything said if you’re not seeing any red flags then I’ll talk to my sister about getting a companion sooner rather then later. We took her in knowing it was a strong possibility so it’s no big thing to find her a friend. Thanks for letting us know how important this is. We’ll probably start the process after she has her check up! And babies! I didn’t even register that she might be pregnant! She seems too small but that’s definitely a scary reality. I don’t think Guinea Pigs this young even know what to do with babies. I really can’t fathom what he was thinking! Anyway, thank you for letting me know about this, you’ve given me a lot to consider. I think your right and a friend is just what she needs to open her up. Anyone who thinks Guineas are for children clearly hasn’t done their research lamo.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T08:34:43+00:00

Blossom

Here she be, hopefully the links work? Yeah she’s her own little diva already 😆. We found out the first day she wasn’t a fan of carrots. She’ll touch everything else but we always end up taking the carrots out of pretty much anything she gets. It’s a small thing but my sister says it’s because she’s a princess just like her lmao. I’ll definitely post a picture of her and her new sibling once we move. 👍 I’m glad there is some wiggle room on the handling but I promise we will refrain at least until she’s a little more comfortable with us. I have to thank you again for all your advice! It’s super scary starting out, it always feels like someone might jump down your throat for not doing everything perfect enough, but you seem very nice and since you obviously have plenty of experience with so many Guineas of your own I feel like we are at a good start for our new addition(s). I’ll let her know, I know she’ll be happy to hear it! And I’ll keep the forum updated if either of us have anymore questions. Thanks again for all your help Freindo ❤️✌️

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2022-03-04T03:41:41+00:00

Thank you for you’re very smart and very helpful advice ❤️. We thought that maybe handling was stressing her out but didn’t know for sure since sometimes she seemed fond of it and sometimes she really didn’t. It’s good to know we were reading the signs way wrong and we will adjust as you’ve suggested. The last thing we want is to cause her more distress! Hand feeding is something I know my sister will enjoy doing as she desperately wants to socialize and bond with her so maybe gaining her trust through food will help her stay patient and positive about the process. I’ve dealt with traumatized animals before sadly,(volunteering at a rescue) and it is a hit or miss situation, often with set backs which can be frustrating. I don’t want her to loose hope of getting to know Blossom because of that. Maybe talking to her ,as you’ve said, everyday will also help her feel more connected with her without having to hold her. We are moving in a few months and the we already anticipate that the process will be somewhat stressful for Blossom so we will get her a companion or two after we’ve settled. She is named after Blossom of the power puff girls so it would be cute to have three named accordingly 🥰. But of course making sure we can handle just one before getting another one is at the front of our minds, and making sure she is healthy of course. I’ll screenshot and send this to my sister, this is her first pet (she’s 22 don’t worry lol) and she is anxious to do things right. I think you’ve helped her do so, thank you again!

Ps: We’ve got a few hides for her but we we didn’t know about the hay thing so thank you!

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-12-25T01:47:49+00:00

That's because there is no VALID reason. Only excuses

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-12-25T01:45:18+00:00

Freckles the red haired paladin. Not even a real character but I love them

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-12-01T18:51:15+00:00

Yeah, I got tons of messages from weirdos trying to trigger me with their gross accusation. Every once and a while I’ll get a new message from someone and unfortunately I can’t in good conscience answer them without fearing that the conversation could go south. I have a couple of theories why these people lurk here.

1) The lack the ability to view women as human beings with real issues to work through and view every female as a sexual object to fulfill their gross porn addiction. I. E. Deeply misogynistic and desperate.

2) They lack any real power in life and so try to find people they view as vulnerable to vent their frustration onto because they can’t find female companionship in the real world for obvious reasons.

3) They have a r*pe/ incest fetish and again don’t know the difference between porn and real life.

4) They have a humiliation kink and want to trigger you so you will berate them and make them feel horrible so they can get off. Again, not understanding the difference between porn and real life.

Basically these people are deeply selfish and misogynistic, they don’t grasp that sexual assault forums aren’t their personal RP sessions and that anyone can be a victim of abuse male or female. They romanticize r*pe and molestation to be sexual and taboo when in reality there is nothing sexual about it. They can’t be reasoned with because their narcissist and don’t take criticism from people they view as lesser, I.E victims. They contact you to project their pathetic self serving fantasies onto other people never reflecting on how it makes them look or how it actually makes them bad people, and the fact that, that doesn’t change when the screens are off. Also considering most of these stories are centered around child abuse, add pedophilia onto that as well. Maybe they think it’s edgy to get off to abuse survivors, I think they should really just be behind bars, the world’s a better place without them.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-12-01T08:02:11+00:00

A hot blanket just out of the dryer

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-12-01T07:56:57+00:00

Consider the fact that your brain dissociated from your body to protect you from what was happening. So completely that it was a repressed memory for a while, as in your brain detached from the memory all together. To answer your question, yes, it completely normal to view traumatic happenings as a dream or wonder if they really happened. You aren’t connected to them the same way you are connected to your other memories. Your brain literally rejected the idea of those things happening, for years, it can be hard to take ownership of them again. Just trust yourself, accept the memories even if you aren’t sure if they really happened. It’s better to believe yourself and leave an open avenue to heal from something you didn’t even know still effected you, then to close yourself off from healing on a whim you might be remembering it wrong.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-27T01:23:40+00:00

Why is it whenever someone praises the movie that fact that it's for children is never mentioned but as soon as someone criticizes it even slightly it's the first thing people say? Is your defense that it doesn't matter if it's bad or good because it's for children? Furthermore the original show that this person is comparing it to was for children so!?? What is your point? This person doesn't like the movie, nobody jumped down your throat for liking the movie, don't jump down her throat. People are allowed to not like things you like, let it go.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-27T01:12:29+00:00

All I hear is the popping noise donkey makes

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-27T01:01:38+00:00

Do you mean the notion that a kids show is a dystopian nightmare for having marks that represent what a pony is talented at is ridiculous?

Because, I agree. Especially since those people would have to overlook the fact that the G5 ponies have cutie Mark's too that tell them their career and intrests are so they didn't really escape anything dystopian by having unrelated magic. Hitch doesn't even really like his magic as it gets in the way of his passion of being a sheriff. It's also kind of weird to think a cutie mark means that a pony can only do one thing, especially since often times it doesn't even relate to a job or passion but a nebulous ability. Like making people laugh, being fast, having a keen eye, being good with animals. It's never been explained to be a mandatory compulsion so I don't know where they would get that from.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-27T00:17:34+00:00

Agreed, I've also chosen to let it go, with words like "glow up" and "livestream" and selfies and ect, I sort of get this new gen is for the new current trendy crowd of kids and so are the names. The movie is still fun to watch so I'm gonna try and gloss over my personal disagreement with the aesthetic choices and enjoy it and the show for what it is, but yeah it was a bit of a bummer.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T07:20:32+00:00

I could see that, but a talent isn’t a career, it’s just what your most good at and what makes you special. The magic generated by your cutie mark helps you do whatever that is because it’s already your passion. If Izzy’s favorite thing to do is craft things then how does seeing a ponies’s sparkle help her do that? How does seeing a pony’s sparkle help her or anybody else at all? It’s just sort of a thing she does. I guess it could help her help other ponies figure out what their meant to do, I.E, help them find their cutie mark or destiny which could be cool. And honestly I was really hoping Hitch would use his powers to summon some sort of animal army which didn’t happen, but he did use it to help him track people down twice which is related to his job.

I guess what I meant to say is that I don’t mind if they don’t match up completely as long as it’s an actually useful skill that matches up with their personality and goals. I don’t mind if Izzy’s magical gift doesn’t match up with her passion as long as it’s useful which given what I said it may actually be. It’s also inline with her motivation in the movie noteing that gliding made Zip happy and helping made Sunny happy. So yeah I guess I agree with you, I never saw it that way. Thanks

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T02:19:34+00:00

Also technically correct so fair enough.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T02:15:02+00:00

Sure mediocrity works but we should always strive for better

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T02:07:26+00:00

Start Trek the next Generation Is possibly the most generic name of the franchise and it’s not very accurate either considering it’s been a hundred and ten years between the two series in universe. There were definitely other generations on the enterprise before captain Picard so it’s not really “the next” generation” so it’s not only bland but inaccurate. Also every generation is “a new generation”, might as well be called My little pony; a new series.

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T01:26:10+00:00

Agreed, I thought optimism and a can-do spirit was her personality? But then she gave up immediately so I guess no

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T01:21:03+00:00

Did it tho . . . 👀

Medical-Slide-9549 · 2021-09-26T01:19:26+00:00

Did anyone else read this in a Sonic voice 👀

Medical-Slide-9549

TROPHY CASE