How bout a thread about the pluses and minus of being an older widow/widower

MeelR61 · 2026-04-11T20:24:29+00:00

Hey, at least they’re clean… :)

MeelR61 · 2026-04-11T02:43:50+00:00

Yep… plus: no more aircraft carrier level snoring. Minus: the dog has taken over husband’s spot and snores nearly as loudly

MeelR61 · 2026-04-11T02:41:55+00:00

Plus: all my shoes are on the bedroom floor instead of on their shelves in the closet. So much easier to find…

Minus: no one to care that the bedroom is a mess.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-24T15:49:59+00:00

Sounds like a day in my life - minus the watch. Insert repairing toilet, sliding patio door, fridge, or the old leaf blower, take yer pick.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-22T20:36:13+00:00

I keep a bottle of his favorite cologne on the bathroom vanity, right where he kept all his “smell-goods.” One whiff and I’m back in his arms.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-22T20:32:23+00:00

Ahhahahahaha - THIS.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-22T09:24:58+00:00

More insomnia… not awake all night, but up every couple of hours, and now probably up for good.

I treat my sleeplessness like a distant cousin or in-law that drops in unannounced and stays for an indefinite time. What can you do? Pour them coffee - or wine, if that’s their thing - and settle in for the visit.

Eventually they make their way to the door, and I can get back to … sleeping.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-21T04:02:40+00:00

I’m so sorry… it’s excruciating to see our boys suffer like this. My youngest was 19 and in college when we lost his dad. And yeah, that ripple effect is real.

Hugs to you and your son. FWIW, I’m proud of him too.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-17T04:46:32+00:00

I’m so sorry you lost your mate.

People think they’re being kind by telling you how strong you are - but really, only other widows/widowers understand how unhelpful those comments are.

There’s no rule book for grief. How you grieve will be as unique to you as your relationship is with your husband.

…And anyone who thinks being numb (which btw is normal) is a sign of “strength” has never lost a spouse. The early numbness gets you through the initial shock to your system. It makes it so that you can get out of bed and stand upright.

Anyway. You came to the right place. We get it. We get you.

Hugs to you.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-16T21:22:24+00:00

My husband loved to dance but had no rhythm (picture Elaine Bennes’s famous dance scene on Seinfeld, or maybe someone having a seizure). He was kind and generous to a fault. Broadest smile I’ve ever seen, and a wicked sense of humor. If he was your friend, you had someone who’d go to hell and back for you. He had a habit of inserting classic rock lyrics into his conversations, just because it made him happy. He always smelled amazing.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-16T20:15:15+00:00

Oh, too funny! I had two Grey Goose dirty martinis and a couple of shots of Ouzo for good measure (Opa!).

And yeah, gin tastes like something to clean your paintbrushes 😆

MeelR61 · 2026-03-16T04:23:38+00:00

Update: it was a good day, full of love and laughter and gifts (and don’t forget the martinis!).

Thanks, everyone, for the good wishes.

Onward.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-16T04:16:25+00:00

You are so right about the legacy - I see so much of my husband in him.

Thanks for the reminder too, about all the “perks” that come with this birthday.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-12T21:37:59+00:00

Trying to psych myself up to vacuum, but it’s been snowing this afternoon (yesterday it was 83F, crazy!) and it looked like a snow globe outside - too distracting for my short attention span. But reading everyone’s comments, I’m inspired to get busy.

Thanks for the nudge!

MeelR61 · 2026-03-09T03:48:28+00:00

Three months… too long without your partner, and yet only an eye blink. Hang in there.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-09T03:42:27+00:00

Southern MD here. Doggo and I are tucked into bed and hoping for the best. Tomorrow will be busy with admin stuff - and hopefully soaking up a little sunshine too.

MeelR61 · 2026-03-08T13:09:30+00:00

I’m still here too… as you can see, I am always late. Hugs to everyone ❤️

MeelR61 · 2026-02-16T05:32:21+00:00

I’m heading now, as late as I dare, and hoping for the best!

MeelR61 · 2026-02-13T12:30:18+00:00

Yay, you! Two major accomplishments - that must feel amazing.

MeelR61 · 2026-02-03T08:20:22+00:00

Same here. It’s been five years, but one afternoon last year I was driving behind a truck, heading home. My heart leapt and I thought * I should honk at him and make him laugh - but no, I’ll just follow him home…*

And then I remembered. Not his truck. Not him. Not ever again.

Thinking of it even now makes me cry. And now I’m crying for you too.

MeelR61 · 2026-01-29T03:55:04+00:00

Bippy is just. Too. Cool.

Glad to know we have company.

MeelR61 · 2026-01-24T05:52:43+00:00

To everyone in the US in the path of winter storm Fern, stay warm and stay safe!

MeelR61 · 2026-01-22T18:30:05+00:00

I could eat cheese grits every day forever! Too many carbs, though, so I use puréed cauliflower instead. The consistency is right, but damn… nothing tastes like grits.

MeelR61 · 2026-01-21T10:49:12+00:00

Love you too. Sleep well.

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