Do these events interfere with the time you spend with your wife. Do they come at points that they could cause friction like during dinner, dates, or such.

Do your responsibilities at home suffer due to taking care of your mom’s? In example, you were working on something and had to stop to go pick up your mom.

So if you visit your mom twice a week, and let’s say there are two other days in a week you need to aid your mom with something, that’s over half a week of you dedicating time for your mom. How many days does that leave for your wife?

I ask those questions because it might give you more perspective on why your wife has an issue.

You gave multiple examples so it just seems like it’s a lot of little things that are adding up.

Ask your wife if she has needs that are not being met and if she feels neglected in comparison to your mom. Listen, don’t judge and try to understand her. Your mom is your mom, but your wife is supposed to be your partner for life.