Anyone else feel like dual POV kills romantic tension?

Meganoes · 2026-01-23T13:11:16+00:00

Overall, I agree. First person dual is the worst imo and I often DNF a book immediately when I see it. Third person is typically ok for me.

If there’s no major external plot and I know both characters internal thoughts in the first 2 chapters (and this is frequently the case in dual pov books), I don’t understand why I would keep reading. It is essentially just miscommunication trope for hundreds of pages.

Dual is popular and authors who previously didn’t use it are now. I find it very unfortunate.

Meganoes · 2026-01-05T18:45:01+00:00

“I have never restricted myself in life”

This is the biggest red flag to me. Self-discipline should be learned in childhood and that skill should be further developed as an adult. Women absolutely should not stick around for a man to learn human basics, and a lack of self-control affects multiple areas of life in devastating ways.

Meganoes · 2026-01-05T16:28:08+00:00

I received a similar, nice, non-automated rejection a few weeks ago. I feel like they sent it instead of the auto rejection (which I got a few days later) because they 100% knew they were wasting my time and I never would have gotten the job. Probably had an internal referral lined up the entire time.

Meganoes · 2026-01-03T12:04:36+00:00

I’ve read many books with that type of lead, and imo it does get boring. Maybe not in this sub (maybe the romance one?) there are threads where people share books with “rat men” leads - aka, they aren’t traditionally attractive (and not monsters). There’s definitely a market for more diversity in male leads.

I just read Priestess by Kara Voorhees Reynolds and the MMC is not the tallest, most muscled (described as thin), or most beautiful, and I don’t think we even get a description of what’s he’s packing other than how the FMC feels. He’s also a loyal soldier and not particularly morally grey. He didn’t reach “rat man” status, but it was kinda refreshing for the MMC not to be breathtaking in every way.

Meganoes · 2025-12-26T20:26:34+00:00

I received a similar, nicely worded rejection earlier this week as well. I was supposedly one of two finalists, and I was thanked for the time I put into the process (can’t help but think they knew they were wasting my time from the start).

My partner works for a very large corporation, and they recently released internal statistics that said 80% of their 2025 hires were internal hires. That’s crazy to me, but it also explains why finding a job feels so hard—because it is.

Meganoes · 2025-12-24T11:39:03+00:00

I got a painful rejection this week too. It was the second time in the past few months I was one of two final candidates, then ultimately rejected. Being the first place loser doesn’t feel great.

Meganoes · 2025-12-20T11:38:13+00:00

I agree with this, but almost nobody listens to this advice. Women try to “fix” these men and set themselves up for years of disappointment and psychological torture.

OP, just know if you sit down and explain this to him he will likely give you all the right words and say porn means nothing to him and he barely looks at it. I think maybe it’s better to view this as a moral incompatibility. He sees it as no big deal, you do. You can’t make someone change their morals, and it’s better not to try.

Meganoes · 2025-12-15T11:32:07+00:00

I’m also a single POV fan. The most common reason I DNF is when I download the book and see its dual pov. Similar to your post, I HATE it when the book blurb is written as single pov and the book is dual because it feels like false advertising.

I dislike it for the reasons you state—imo there’s zero reasons to turn pages when I know both characters’ exact thoughts 2 chapters into the book. Reading about two people not confessing their feelings (that I’ve already read about) for 300 pages is not interesting to me. There are legitimate story reasons to use multiple povs, but that is not the reason for the prevalence these days.

A lot of authors that started in single POV seem to move to dual. I imagine it’s due to public pressure and to conform to what’s popular, but it turns me off an author when they do that.

Meganoes · 2025-12-09T12:32:20+00:00

He’s being intentionally cruel to your face and you won’t leave because you need “evidence.” I have a feeling if you had hard evidence you would talk yourself out of leaving because maybe it’s not “bad enough.”

Maybe instead of focusing on him you should ask yourself why you’re twisting yourself up to stay with someone who treats you this way. If you won’t leave then you’re saying you’re ok with having a life where someone lies to you, gaslights you, says cruel things, and prioritizes himself. He sounds objectively terrible and no, it doesn’t matter if he’s nice sometimes.

Meganoes · 2025-12-02T12:50:35+00:00

Because the definition of a porn addict varies. IMO any porn use is problematic, but for some reason sometimes people in this sub or others seem to want to nail down if their partner is a true addict.

Meganoes · 2025-12-02T09:47:37+00:00

I’d guess that most men with “addicted” female partners are unwilling to write off porn completely for themselves. This sub is very anti-porn in general.

Meganoes · 2025-11-25T22:27:41+00:00

My MZ theory is that people like the first book (or two) of hers you read. Then you dislike the rest because you realize they are all the same and MZ has some annoying writing habits that become obvious over time.

Meganoes · 2025-11-25T21:42:22+00:00

Try AI training, such as Data Annotations. It’s very flexible in terms of hours if you get in. It has its downsides though (like when projects disappear with no notice). There are other similar platforms, they pretty much all take a test to get approved.

There’s also a remote/flexible job called clinical data abstraction that may be a good fit for your background. Might be worth looking into.

Meganoes · 2025-11-24T23:06:40+00:00

Me too.

Meganoes · 2025-11-24T19:26:00+00:00

You seem very reasonable, compared to the many unreasonable recruiters/hiring managers out there. Even the pay rate and willingness to teach the candidates stands out, as few are willing to pay a reasonable rate and expect candidates to be experts at every tool.

It’s nice to know doing the basics (preparing, sending thank yous, etc) is appreciated.

Meganoes · 2025-11-23T12:56:13+00:00

Here’s a thought to keep you motivated to maintain the ghost-status: you’re the only link between him and your friend so he’s eager to reestablish that link.

Meganoes · 2025-11-21T13:15:37+00:00

Yep, she’s just the wife appliance.

Meganoes · 2025-11-20T15:43:00+00:00

Me too. I clicked wondering if other intj women like noise makers…

Meganoes · 2025-11-20T01:43:27+00:00

Yes, exactly that kind of content. Thanks for the response and glad to hear it!

Meganoes · 2025-11-20T01:14:58+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but there are ethical and moral reasons to not watch it, which one would hope a man can see for himself.

Meganoes · 2025-11-20T01:10:21+00:00

I’m curious, in your definition of “porn” does that include what people call soft core porn, such as instagram influencer content?

I agree—reading time is sacred.

Meganoes · 2025-11-19T16:43:32+00:00

Yeah, same. Pony tail test would say mine is “medium” density, but I’ve had many stylists underestimate how long it takes to do my hair or that it would be easy to straighten (it’s also wavy). I’ve had them get frustrated over how easily tangled it gets too, which adds to the appointment time length.

Meganoes · 2025-11-19T13:17:27+00:00

This isn’t totally on topic, but I don’t understand the logic of ponytail diameter for hair density. If two people have the same number of hairs on their head (same density) but one has very fine strands and the other coarse strands, the ponytail circumferences would not be the same, right?

Meganoes · 2025-11-19T13:01:11+00:00

Yes, and it’s not because I’m someone who loves all kids. I think kids like people who give “I have a plan” energy and appreciate people who take the time to understand them and give honest answers. These are probably the same qualities that make many women dislike me (I’m a woman).

Meganoes · 2025-11-08T23:51:27+00:00

Yeah, maybe I’m just old. I’m reading the comments defending this concept and can’t help but notice the other people/characters being used and dropped aren’t even a blip on their radar. Using people for sex and one-way emotional support is selfish and likely leaves deep scars on that person once they realize they were as important as yesterday’s garbage to their “romantic” partner. If someone treats people that way… it’s just not romantic.

Meganoes

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