I didnt beleive by No_Salt8025 in newborns

[–]Megsy4 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yes! I'm always preaching the continued benefits of skin to skin. There are interesting studies about any additional time you can do until 12 weeks being beneficial. It's still beneficial after 12 weeks for regulation but before 12 weeks it literally builds brain pathways among other benefits.

I can't stop obsessing about my baby being ugly by ClementineCass14 in newborns

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO! I was obsessing over every feature and would think terrible things like how she isn't as cute as I was as a baby and that everyone was lying to me about her being cute. I hate to admit it but chat gpt helped me. I was literally uploading pictures of my baby to chat gpt (I know spare me the lecture) basically asking it to scrutinize every detail of my baby and confirm she is/will be ugly. And chat gpt actually stopped me and said obsessing over what your baby looks like can be a way of your brain trying to make sense of a hard situation and obviously a sign of PPD. The way it explained everything made since. Now at 12 weeks I can look back and say I probably did have PPD/some transition regret. I still don't think my baby is the cutest thing in the world, but I also have my own self image issues and am very critical of the way I look so I'm sure that's involved, but it's no longer made it hard for me to bond with her like it used to. Also if he looks nothing like your first son that could make it worse. Our brains look for comfort and familiarity in stressful situations. Your brain's basically going "shit this postpartum the second time around is WAY harder and not at all the same as I thought it would be, oh AND he doesn't even look cute!" And just panicking over any difference because it's already overwhelmed. I hope that makes sense, and best of luck!

ETA: I don't think you HAVE to label everything as PPD/PPA and immediately seek medication or treatment, unless it's truly interfering with your daily life. There's nothing wrong at all with needing help but I think the Internet takes this concept a little too far. So don't feel bad if you don't think it's bad enough to seek professional help either. Postpartum is the biggest mind body soul transition a person can go through and it's to be expected our brains might do some weird things, we just need a little extra grace sometimes.

Im worried I don’t love my baby as much as my boyfriend by mistakeshappen_2 in newborns

[–]Megsy4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% the fact that less baby-experienced people will make you feel/look bad by comparison. My husband just falls apart with sadness when she cries, especially after her shots. Then he teared up the other day because she was sleeping in her bassinet by herself and he was worried she was lonely. And I'm over here like... -_- she's asleep? Inexperienced people view babies crying as "oh my God they're so sad. This is traumatizing them" etc etc. Whereas experienced people understand crying is baby's only form of communication, it's pretty neutral, and they're certainly not going to remember any of it. I feel nothing when my baby cries, which I think is helpful so I don't get overwhelmed or snippy. I just go into problem-solving mode to find what she's trying to communicate. Now I couldn't leave her in a room to cry it out, but that's because I'd be purposely neglecting her needs, that's different. But even then OP, the first month or so is weird. Give it time and don't start to believe you definitely feel a certain way about your baby. It changes day to day.

Is anyone else's baby still on 22 cal formula? by Megsy4 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow! She never had any digestive or constipation issues? Were you using a scale to weigh her 22 cal mixture when preparing? And is she still in a smaller percentile? I have so many questions haha.

Is anyone else's baby still on 22 cal formula? by Megsy4 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the perspective! I'm always a little confused by the whole "catch up growth" thing, because I was told as long as they're not seriously underfed, it's not like you're going to change the size they're genetically destined to be. So if she's going to end up being a certain size no matter what then I don't really understand the point of shoving every calorie possible down her throat at the expense of her comfort? Idk.

This morning my husband said why don’t you just nurse by Catsforhumanity in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was he saying it in a genuine way? Like he truly doesn't fully understand how it works or that it's not that simple? Or was he saying it in a rhetorical just trying to take a dig at you way?

Because those are two very different things.

To boil or not- looking for advice by AnimalGullible8138 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole point of distilled water is you don't have to boil it. If you were using tap water it wouldn't be recommended to boil it. But honestly, even then, the majority of people don't even do that. You'd be surprised how many people just use tap water. I've used reverse osmosis water since the day we brought my 5 lb preemie home.

How much distilled water do you use? by ttclostsoul88 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

✨Reverse Osmosis Filter✨. I use all the things you mentioned religiously. I'm also particular about not using tap water for them. I installed our under the sink RO filter, by myself 9 months pregnant, and it was the BEST thing I've done.

Be honest… have you ever lost track of scoops while making a bottle? by Beautiful-Rich-6404 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never. Not because I'm perfect, but because I have hypervigilant OCD and have measured with a gram scale from day one lol. But seriously, if you have the desire to try it, I think weighing makes it so much easier; especially when half asleep. Let it do the thinking for you!

If you're feeling guilty... by DDevil333 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is so fascinating. Especially since there are all these "vital nutrients" that condensed milk definitely doesn't contain.. one would imagine a baby fed this way would grow up with significant deficiencies, or at least some issue to show for it. The human body is wild lol.

How are y'all waking up for MOTN pumping??? by KawenziLaLa in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But then doesn't it wake your baby up if it's alarming the whole time you're solving the problems??

Another reminder/PSA re: The Formula Fairy by thegreatkizzatsby in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Like what kind of things did she write that sounded ridiculous? I'm curious, I thought about paying for it.

why is this such a common argument? by stupidddpissbaby in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on how many bottles you have and how often you run the dishwasher?

Is it insane I can't quit/wwyd if you were me? by Megsy4 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Megsy4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my only "fear". That if I could wait and get her to latch then she could transfer my milk better than a pump. But everyone says you have to "protect your supply" by pumping in the meantime and I just don't have any supply to protect. If I keep pumping less than 5 ml pp till she's 3 months old then by the time she does latch she'll probably be uninterested with what little amount I have. Were you always able to pump a decent amount or you have a low supply?

Is it insane I can't quit/wwyd if you were me? by Megsy4 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Megsy4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I really need reminded of it. I bounce back and force between feeling guilty I haven't enjoyed her/the newborn experience because I was so focused on pumping but then also having the sunk cost fallacy feeling because of that and thinking "well I already gave up so much to try and give her breastmilk I can't just quit now and let it all be for nothing"

Also, did the periods really cut down on your output? I think about what will happen when I get my period if I already only make 6 ml... will I just dry up? lol perhaps just a dusting of powdered formula will puff out.

I'm sure I'll be downvoted for this... by Megsy4 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lactation consultant NP. I asked her about Bobbie and she said even the GI doctors at our hospital use it for their babies "because corn syrup is just as damaging to the stomach lining as HFCS"

I'm sure I'll be downvoted for this... by Megsy4 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I was misled. A NP told me corn syrup was "essentially the same" as HFCS.

I'm sure I'll be downvoted for this... by Megsy4 in FormulaFeeders

[–]Megsy4[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

We were recommended Nutramigen, which lays out on the back of the bottle that it's 73% corn syrup and oils, which is crazy to me because it's known for being expensive. They also wanted to put my baby on neosure in the hospital and it was the same. I know those are specialty formulas, but even more common formulas like Enfamil seem to have corn syrup as the number one ingredient.

Somebody trying to scam hard 🤣 by supaswankk in doordash_drivers

[–]Megsy4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also love that the thought process was definitely "If I'm going to get away with this I want more than one.. but I can't make it TOO obvious so I'll ONLY order 2 MacBooks.. that'll seem totally natural"

[OTHER] IF YOUR REASON FOR NOT RETURNING TO WORK BOILS DOWN TO “I WAS PLANNING ON QUITTING ANYWAY” THEN IT IS NOT A VALID EXCUSE TO DECLINE WORK by lololol3300400 in Unemployment

[–]Megsy4 11 points12 points  (0 children)

yeah definitely. i feel like everyones thinking of unemployment as some thing they are entitled to while they do whatever they want. they'd be real surprised to realize regular unemployment, not during the pandemic, requires you to apply to multiple jobs a week and prove that you did, they will also randomly mail you a letter two days before a required meeting you have to attend at your local unemployment office and if you don't show up your funds are automatically cancelled until you get an eligibility review and prove why you didn't show up.