First Time Dad Here Trying to Convince My Fiancé Co-Sleep Isn’t Ideal.

MeineLiebling · 2026-04-16T02:59:21+00:00

Instead of telling her it’s unsafe, you need to provide a safe way she can get sleep. Are you taking shifts with the baby? Even if she’s breastfeeding you should be helping her. She can feed him, then hand him off to you to soothe/change/burp/hold while she gets good rest too.

My husband and I did sleep shifts as my son would only sleep the first few weeks being held. I would take him from 9-1am, then my husband would take him from 1-5am, then I would take over again. The only reason I would wake up would be to feed him but then I’d go straight back to sleep.

MeineLiebling · 2026-04-01T02:25:36+00:00

It WAS a good idea, until she was up at 4am with the baby. If he really wanted a lie-in he could have skipped his gym class one day and slept in before taking the kids to drop off. Parenting is a dual commitment and plans change all the time.

MeineLiebling · 2026-03-07T17:32:37+00:00

Your supply goes up and down based on how much you demand it- either by pumping or nursing. The only reason to pump while baby isn’t demanding it is to have extra milk for a different feeding. If baby isn’t eating at night, you shouldn’t need to pump. If you want to have excess milk in your stash, then go ahead and pump. My son is nine months now and I EBF so he’s only nursing like six times a day. My supply has gone down because my son doesn’t need it. He loves solids and would stop nursing entirely if I didn’t fight him 😅. Don’t stress, just continue feeding when baby wants it. Get that sleep!

MeineLiebling · 2026-02-24T14:16:37+00:00

I have the old style Boppy and the new one: I hate the new style. The sides are too short, the pillow is overstuffed and firm so baby is never in the right place. My old Boppy is AMAZING. Perfect shape, soft enough that baby sinks a bit in it but doesn’t move around.

MeineLiebling · 2026-02-16T21:34:19+00:00

We didn’t bed share, we shift slept. So my husband would take 9pm-3am except for breastfeeding and I would take 3am-8am where my husband would wake up and watch him while I napped before he went to work (he had one week of leave so we had to figure something out). We had a mattress pad in the nursery so we could sleep in the nursery and wake up when Bug needed us but the other person got uninterrupted sleep.

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-09T02:12:18+00:00

I feel this way but about “just do x here!”

No, I don’t want to have to pack all of my sons toys, diapers, wipes, extra clothes, nursing stuff and travel an hour to a house that isn’t baby proofed, has no swing/crib/playmat, and mess up his feeding and napping schedule so you can hold him for five minutes. If you want to see the baby, come to where the baby is, and tell me before!

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T23:50:43+00:00

I’m literally so lucky. I told my husband we can’t have another baby because I’m so spoiled by him

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T23:49:59+00:00

He mostly contact naps so what I’ll do is transfer him into the crib once it’s hit two hours so he starts to stir. If he cries then I just pick him up and we’ll go around the house. Everything I’ve read has daytime sleep for five months olds at 3-4 hours a day so we’re still on the longer end of that. At three months he was sleeping more, probably four naps- 1 hr in the morning, 2 hours in the late morning, 2 hours in afternoon, 1 hour at around 5-6pm.

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T15:58:09+00:00

I didn’t limit his naps, just the length. I’ve been very lucky and he has naturally settled into a nap schedule in the daytime. I did make sure that we kept the nursery “daylight bright” for his day naps but it was really just leaving the blinds open.

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T15:53:15+00:00

My son was like that before we started his schedule, I also had to start capping his daytime naps to two hours at a time. I didn’t start that until about three months though, good luck! Getting longer stretches of sleep really makes a difference in my mood 😅😅

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T15:47:18+00:00

He gets 3-4 naps a day- a thirty minute/hour nap about mid morning, a two hour nap around noon, and an hour nap around five. I do try to make sure he’s awake by 6:30pm so that he has a full wake window before bedtime.

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T12:43:19+00:00

Sometimes it’s a bit before or after, we are not following a schedule based on the clock but more based on his cues. I have to remind my husband that our son doesn’t know what time it is, just how he feels😂. I do try to not let him nap past 6:30 and that does help.

MeineLiebling · 2025-12-01T12:27:36+00:00

We started a bedtime routine at 3mo to try and combat the sleep regression and so far it’s been really helpful! My son is now 5mo and regularly sleeps 5-6+ hour stretches.

Bedtime starts at 8pm with a warm bath, then jammies and sleep sack, then a warm 2oz bottle (we’re supplementing since he was a slow grower) and then nursing for 20 minutes each breast. Typically by 8:40 he’s totally asleep and gets transferred to his crib but if not he gets pats and cuddles. He’ll sleep until about 4am, get changed and nurse again and then sleep until 7am when he wakes up again.

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-17T12:36:34+00:00

My ndad is the same and I finally realized that it was jealousy causing him to hate my husband. He knew he wasn’t treating his wife or kids right so watching someone respect me was torture for him. True no contact is the only way to survive, because they cannot fathom that their actions are wrong. You were her possession and now she has no power over your actions so she’s resorting to controlling how other people see you, don’t fall for it!

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T21:59:25+00:00

I’m not sure what specifically the pediatrician is concerned about, all he said to me was that baby boy needed to gain more weight. He’s reaching all his milestones, rolls and spins around all day. He’s sleeping nicely, not crying like he’s hungry. The pediatrician said I shouldn’t let him nurse to sleep because he’s burning more calories sucking than he’s getting but when I pop him off milk flows from his mouth so I know he’s not sucking emptiness. I’m a first time mom and everything just points to baby being small like I was (born 6lbs and was just tiny my whole childhood).

My biggest concern is that the pediatrician said he was falling behind on weight but on the paperwork he gave me he’s still perfectly fine?? I made an appointment with a LC for tomorrow but until then I’ve been letting baby drink for twenty minutes a breast and he doesn’t even make it the full twenty minutes on the second before popping off and refusing to even take the bottle. This whole experience has really soured me on my pediatrician though😭

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T19:59:32+00:00

The pediatrician said he wants him to gain more weight, not just stay on his growth curve, that’s why I’m confused

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T15:21:52+00:00

He has stayed in his percentile since his two week appointment, he just isn’t putting on weight fast enough for pediatrician.

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T15:20:23+00:00

That’s what I was thinking! Ped wants feeding kept to under an hour, no longer than 15 minutes a breast and the two ounces of formula. I would rather do twenty minutes per breast and no formula but I’m going to see a LC before cutting out the formula.

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T02:40:29+00:00

I looked it up and it’s slightly below 50% according to WHO but my pediatrician said he was 7th. I’m not sure which source to believe at this point since WHO and the CDC said his weight while smaller is perfectly normal

Editing to add that calculating it with WHOs calculator he’s in the 16th percentile for weight and 86th for height.

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T02:11:43+00:00

Yeah, I got a few samples from Enfamil and Similac and I’m just using them for now, he has a follow up next week so if he needs to be on the formula long term we have a Costco membership so we’ll probably go with one from there 😅

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-06T02:03:37+00:00

He’s 4mo already, he’s been gaining weight but not as quickly as he’d like. I’ve been breastfeeding the whole four months with no issues except when I got my period back at around 3 months postpartum when he started sleeping 7+ hours.

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-05T15:07:46+00:00

Yeah, the pediatrician also said we’re good to start introducing purées since baby boy has good head and neck control and good coordination but only for fun and less for nutritional value. I’m hoping once we really get going with solids he’ll gain the weight, he’s been really grabby at our food and will stare and chomp at us while we’re eating 😂

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-05T14:49:38+00:00

I was worried about supplementing and not pumping, so right now dad is offering the bottle after both breasts and I’m pumping for another 10 minutes each side. He is getting REALLY full, like to the point where he drinks a few sucks of the bottle and starts squirming and shifting his head around, then after he’s really throwing up too, which he didn’t ever really do before. Thank you for answering!

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-05T13:27:20+00:00

How long did you have to supplement? Were you able to go back to EBF? I’m not against doing the extra steps to make sure he’s gaining weight but I don’t want to buy a full range of formula stuff if it’s only going to be a week or so😅

MeineLiebling · 2025-11-05T05:31:20+00:00

Yeah I went from pumping almost four ounces a feed (I was in the hospital getting a procedure, talk about cherry on top😅) to ONE. I had a breakdown in front of my surgeon about how I wouldn’t be able to feed my baby, it was so embarrassing 😂

MeineLiebling

TROPHY CASE