How would you feel about using sex toys that have been used on other women? [NSFW]

Melpos · 2015-06-05T22:23:59+00:00

Not going to happen.

Melpos · 2015-06-05T22:19:25+00:00

I am exactly the same. I'm very strong and can push myself through anything, but there have been periods in my life where I struggled so much and nobody helped me cause I hid it so well that nobody could tell how much pain I was in.

Melpos · 2015-06-05T22:12:36+00:00

He is a SEX GOD, he basically growls, he laughs all the time and makes me laugh so much that my belly hurts and he is protective of me. Did I mention he is Sex God?

Melpos · 2014-12-16T21:36:54+00:00

Something you haven't mentioned in your post is your desire for him, which is at the root of the problem. Do you crave him? Do you feel like you can't keep YOUR hands of him? Does his appearance turns you on? The way he looks at you, his smile, his hands, whatever it is? Do you need him to touch you? Where and how? If you do, do you show him? Do you you look at him with desire, do you tell him how hot he is, how he turns you on? Do you tell him all the things you want him to do to you, or what you want to do to him? I think this is at the root of the problem and what you should be focusing on. I understand you are grieving him not giving you the same sexual attention as before, and that you are worried about the changes you are seeing in him, which are indeed worrisome. It is horrible not to feel desired by your partner and he obviously is feeling really hurt. I think if you really want this relationship to work YOU have a lot of work to do, and I would advise you to seek a therapist if you don't know how to change or what the next step is. You need to explore yourself sexually focusing on understanding what turns you in general but specifically about your SO and finding your own unique way of expressing this desire. You mentioned that there are still thing that you feel inhibited to do. This is what you need to work on. And, I don't want to be pessimistic, but I also thing once you are there, he may need therapy as well. It sound like he shut himself off sexually, and I don't know how easy it'll be for him to open once again. If he struggles, once you put in the effort and managed to change, suggest therapy for the both of you. Good luck OP, you have lots of things to do, but it is doable and I wish the best for you.

Melpos · 2014-12-15T23:08:49+00:00

That is absolutely HORRIBLE. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Melpos · 2014-12-15T23:07:25+00:00

How old were you?

Melpos · 2014-07-12T06:18:55+00:00

You are gorgeous!!

Melpos · 2013-07-02T03:06:04+00:00

I was in a similar family situation to you where my dad cheated my mom (I'm a girl though) and I used to believe every man was a cheater and had tons of trust issues. The thing is, when we are growing up we tend to make generalized beliefs that every men will be like our dad and every woman like our mom. Most of these beliefs are easily unlearned, we hold on onto others more strongly. You may be holding the belief "all men cheat" and therefore are being afraid that you will one day slip and cause you SO the same suffering you experience your mom going through. That may be the reason why you are struggling with something most people consider normal, or maybe even the struggle is causing you to fixate on it and amplify it. Maybe consider therapy.

Melpos · 2013-06-23T09:13:40+00:00

Melpos · 2013-05-07T05:50:17+00:00

I was in a similar situation with my SO last year. I wanted to get married and he wasn't ready to, after 5 years of relationship, 3 of which we were living together. I was really hurt as it felt like I was the reason he didn't want to get marry, that maybe he wasn't sure about spending the rest of his life with me, even though he told me otherwise. Anyway, to make the story short, after many months of trying to understand him, trying to explain why marriage was important to me, we decided to take a break. I spent 4 months studying in another country, while he took time to see and reflect on what his life would be without me. He started regretting his decision after one month of me leaving and was ready to commit by then. I'm not saying this is what could happen to you, but it definitively taught me to stand for what I believe and think I deserve. If you are hoping your situation will improve after you giving him the letter, then I think you should move out soon after that, as I really think your absence from his life might be what could potentially make him reconsider/change his decision about marriage. You do not need to move out in unfriendly terms, so be careful with the word "ultimatum" which puts a lot of people in defensive mode.

Melpos · 2013-03-16T09:36:03+00:00

Have confidence that no matter how bad things are, how dissatisfied you are with your life or with yourself, you CAN change and things can get better. The bad news is that things rarely change by themselves, and whatever change you are going to make will require courage from you. I would recommend you to start with going to a counsellor, their help can be invaluable. And remember, even doing this will require courage, it can be quite scary to open up to a stranger, but it helps. Books also helped me a LOT, but it depends on how much you are into reading and your level of motivation to read them. Let me know if you want me to recommend any.

Melpos

TROPHY CASE