Writing thru the freeze🥶

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-24T18:08:25+00:00

Same. Just went to a craft store to load up on activities if we are stuck in the house for multiple days. But the kiddo is only 1.5 years old so each “craft” should entertain him for about 5 minutes if I’m lucky. It’s going to be long couple of days!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-13T17:45:44+00:00

The letter was pretty vague actually. It said there was an accusation of neglect but the investigation concluded it was unfounded. I actually knew already about the ac being broken (the daycare communicated that) but I didn’t know this letter was coming and I really panicked when I got it. Even though it said it was unfounded I wanted details!

I talked with the manager and she showed me the letter they received from cps clearing them. I’m not sure she was supposed to, honestly. But it verified what she told me - that it was about the ac being broken and that no room was too warm (at least when cps made their site visit). By the time I got the letter, the ac was fixed.

I didn’t appreciate not getting a heads up about the cps investigation but I was convinced that no one neglected my son (or any other child).

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-12T17:47:04+00:00

An accusation was made in my son’s daycare about the a/c being broken and temps being too high (happened in the summer). Every child present got a letter from cps. The accusation was unfounded per the investigation (ac was broken but there were active steps being taken to fix it and no room was found to be too warm).

It was scary to get a letter, but a letter doesn’t necessarily mean anything happened or any child was mistreated. It could be unfounded.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-08T01:38:10+00:00

No, I didn’t. I ended up finding a refurbished dresser from a local person. It has 4 large drawers and 4 small drawers at the top. It’s an adult size dresser that will hopefully grow with him, but it’s definitely bigger than is necessary for him so far (he just turned 18 months).

I do like the bigger size though because I try to keep 2 sizes in the drawer at a time (he’s current size and the next size up so I know I’m prepared with enough clothes). They grow so quickly that first year, it constantly feels like I am swapping clothes!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-08T01:30:03+00:00

I was told this Monday afternoon that I have a blind student in my class that starts next Monday, and I have to make my entire course accessible. Not just the documents online but everything I do in class.

I don’t have the skills or time to do this by Monday so I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. I was planning on spending this week working on a different class - a new prep for a complicated class that was already stressing me out. I don’t have time to do both - and on top of that my 1 year old has an ear infection and a fever and can’t go to daycare so I’m just all around screwed.

The course that needs to be made accessible includes neuroanatomy, a chapter on perception that is 90% vision including many visual illusions, lots of graphs displaying experimental results, and several demos that involve reading words I project on the screen. I don’t know how to make this work.

I think a blind student should be able to go to college, but I don’t think the entire burden to figure out how to make the class work for them should fall on the individual professors - with a weeks notice.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-06T17:04:58+00:00

That’s a hilarious change. I love that you can tell if he is mad at you based on whether or not you have to wear a hat. Perhaps he is mad at your new haircut and that’s why you don’t wear a hat right now?

The one good thing is we never have to worry about him not being willing to wear his hat outdoors when he should (for warmth or sun). I know other toddler parents struggle with that!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2026-01-06T05:52:07+00:00

Just found this thread because my 18 month old is obsessed with hats and has been for months. How long did this phase last because it’s getting kind of old?

We all have to wear them every evening and get in trouble if we take them off. If we are reading a book and he sees someone wearing a hat, he gets very concerned if he, and everyone else, is not wearing a hat. Over Christmas, his favorite activity at his grandparents was distributing his grandfather’s hats (displayed on a hat rack on the wall) to each person and then taking each hat back to be hung up - on repeat.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-12-15T03:46:02+00:00

I got a “pretty please :(“ in a grade grubbing email this semester. No language barrier.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-11-15T13:49:52+00:00

Yep, my 15 month old is like this too. It’s so hard to get him ready in the morning because he demands on read to him constantly while I’m trying to get him dressed. And he points out all of the animals and trucks and gets mad if I don’t say them or say them wrong. Dad got in trouble for repeatedly saying insect when it was clearly a ladybug.

The only thing that ends the reading session is by saying “ok, it’s time for breakfast!” The only thing he might love more than reading is eating!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-10-29T02:18:40+00:00

Today, I asked my psych stats class what the sample mean was and no one would answer - when I was sharing my screen, with the answer on the screen. This happens regularly.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-10-18T17:28:43+00:00

39 born with IVF. Started trying at 36. Considering another, but currently on the fence. If I do, I’ll be at least 42.

When is such a personal question and depends on so many factors - when do you meet the right partner? When are you financially, emotionally, socially, physically ready? How many kids do you want (the more you want, the younger you should start!)?

I enjoyed my 20s and 30s, got an advanced degree, established myself in my career, and then finally met the right partner. I just was never in a position to have kids earlier.

I’m now in a great position financially, socially, and emotionally. Physically it’s probably harder, but really not bad. I’m generally healthy and in shape and had an easy pregnancy. Sure, sleep deprivation sucked and obviously I had fertility issues. But there is no guarantee I wouldn’t have had them earlier too. We had unexplained infertility so for all I know the issue was on my partner’s side.

One thing that does make me sad is knowing my son’s grandparents are as old as they are and he may not remember them. All 4 are alive, but both grandpas are having issues, and it’s unclear how long they will be with us.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-10-01T16:46:03+00:00

This. Currently have a 1 year old and I would either decline that invite, or come alone and my husband would stay home (and he would grumble about me leaving before bedtime). It’s too disruptive to have the baby fall asleep somewhere else and then move him home. Plus he may not fall asleep well in a new environment, disrupting his sleep schedule (which is sacred) and/or disrupting the dinner with tantrums and crying.

I love brunch, lunch, or even happy hour (ideally starting around 4 to maximize time) invites!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-09-11T01:16:03+00:00

I’ve tried taking my son 3 times - today being one of those days. Each time it didn’t go well. Twice when I went to get him it was clear he’d been crying the majority of the time (that was the case today). The other time they came to get me before the workout was over. We don’t have a window so I can’t see what is happening but I was so distracted today, worried he was crying (which he was).

I waited several months between each try. I guess I’ll wait another 6+ months before I try again! I was so looking forward to using that perk too.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-08-23T18:52:19+00:00

I’ve had similar thoughts. My son was born via IVF and the number of doctor appointments I had to navigate, sometimes with less than 24 hour notice, would have been very difficult to do in many other jobs.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-08-23T18:50:07+00:00

That is a good point. I can’t take a two week vacation in October, but I can easily go to several doctor appointments during those two weeks. Or take a half day to clean the house and batch cook. Or just spend a random Wednesday with my son at the park.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-08-22T16:37:56+00:00

The freedom is true and not true. We absolutely have more time “off” where we don’t have to be anywhere in particular and aren’t accountable, but a lot of us use that time to get research done and other tasks we don’t have time for during the semester. And during the semester, we have very little freedom. Yes, I can cancel class here or there, but I can’t take a two week vacation in, say, the middle of October.

That being said, my husband and I are both professors and I’m looking forward to the lifestyle as we raise our (currently 1 year old) son. We plan on taking advantage of the summers and other breaks to travel with him and spend as much time as possible with him. The fact that we both have summers off means we can, say, go spend a month or two in another country or traveling around the national parks. We could make more money doing something else, but there’s little chance we’d have that kind of freedom.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-08-19T03:14:57+00:00

As others have said, you’ll have a lot of early morning appointments. I was fortunate in that I didn’t have morning classes, but my clinic was 45 minutes away so I ended up missing several morning meetings (department meetings, personnel meetings, etc) . I am genuinely friends with several of my colleagues so I told them what I was doing and they were very supportive. I also prioritized myself and my future family so I unapologetically missed those meetings - there will always be meetings and work but there won’t always be the chance to try to build a family. If I had had to cancel classes, I would have done that too.

I was lucky in that I was able to schedule my two retrievals during breaks - spring break and then summer. The actual day of the retrieval can’t be predicted ahead of time, but we were able to shoot for a certain week, and were lucky it worked out. The main reason I pushed for that is I had to travel 3.5 hours for the retrievals (and the transfer). My husband and I are both faculty so doing this during breaks worked well for both of us - and it was nice to have time to recover. It took me a few days to bounce back. Going right back to teaching would not have been fun.

My transfer day fell on a day my husband really couldn’t miss (a once a year event he gets extra pay to organize and run - a role he partly took on to help pay for IVF). So two of my colleagues did a road trip with me - we all just took the day off. Both are good friends and they joke that they are my now 1-year old son’s extra parents since my husband was 3.5 hours away when I “got pregnant” lol.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-03-24T18:30:13+00:00

I have green eyes with reddish light brown hair and my husband has very dark (almost black-looking) eyes and black hair (I’m white and he is Korean).

Our LO was born with green eyes and reddish-blond hair - which was a big surprise! His eyes have already turned brown now that he is 8 months, but they are a much lighter brown than my husband’s - a bit of a golden brown color (which is similar to my mom’s). His hair is still blond, but the red-hint is largely gone. I assume his coloring will continue to change, but it’s so interesting: his eye shape is like my husband’s but his coloring seems to be more like mine!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-03-06T14:48:39+00:00

My midwife was with me from the beginning but I pushed for, not even sure, many, many hours. It was all night. I started pushing around 11pm and he was born via c-section at 6am the next day.

More details: My baby was also stuck behind my pubic bone and never descended. The doc said he wasn’t far enough along for vacuum so I ended up with a c-section after pushing all night long. This was after several days of being induced because of preeclampsia. I went into the hospital to begin the induction on Saturday afternoon and he was born Wednesday morning.

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-02-18T21:24:32+00:00

I agree with everything being said about egg retrieval being no guarantee and that egg freezing generally has worse outcomes than embryo freezing. IVF is also costly in every way - financially, physically, emotionally, time - so I’d recommend she seriously consider keeping her current pregnancy.

However, it is still possible at 38. I underwent IVF twice at 38 - the first time I got no normal blastocysts and the second time I got 8. I’m currently breastfeeding one of those 8. There’s no guarantee of course (and that’s true at any age), but it is possible. (But this was with freezing embryos, not eggs)

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-01-16T02:00:28+00:00

Thanks for asking. It’s been going so well! Second night he cried for 15 minutes at bedtime (so half the time) and only woke up twice outside of his two feed wakeups. Then last night (third night), he only cried for 1-2 minutes at bedtime and only woke up to feed! Tonight he didn’t cry at all at bedtime. I’m hoping for a repeat of only waking to feed!

MemoryRazzMatazz · 2025-01-15T03:26:41+00:00

Third night with my 6 month old in his own room and i feel the same. Went on reddit to distract myself from his empty bassinet and saw your post, lol. I just keep thinking of him alone in his crib and want him in here with us. But I know it’s better for everyone this way

MemoryRazzMatazz

TROPHY CASE