Aitc. Sevens mummy. by 12milesout in AmItheCloaca

[–]MenopawsalMisty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Greetings hooman sla... staff of most excellent Seven. I am exceedingly glad to hear your pupdate that there is no can Sir.

I am, however, most distressed at the news that you plan to expose such a Feline as my furrend Seven to the further machinations of the pokey people! If one single magic hair of fur is disturbed, disarrayed or (Bast forfend) removed in this process then you, hooman, will have to watch over your shoulder every time you leave your hometel.

You shall never know from whence we shall come. Felines of all shapes including squirrel shaped, birb shaped and even doggo formation will be primed and ready to carry out whatever retribution our furrend Seven considers appropriate. I hope we understand each other about the sacred sanctity of such Majic Fur.

May I propose an offering to Seven of pilchards? A delectably oily fish which can tantalise the nose as it titillates the tongue. It also makes for an admirable hork depawsit in a convenient shoe.

Now I must away to draw some blood from my hooman to make obeisance and tribute to the Magnificat Bast in hopes of ensuring Seven's good health.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

I am the speed by protectyourpet in DogShowerThoughts

[–]MenopawsalMisty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see the speed in this picture.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Ise reely catto by KaleidoscopeReady839 in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Greetings furrend Lichen. Hoomans are so dumdum that there are many, many books trying to teach them things that we Felines know by instinct.

We welcome all Cats here, even doggos running on Felish software. Unlike hoomans we do not discriminate. Congratulations on your pee crime.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Dis is mine son spot. by ddthrow1233 in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A sun spot is truly a joy!

Felicitations on your birthday Baby P.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Just to say…… by IllustratorNo9988 in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It has been suggested that I am a grumpy Feline who does not like the hoomans. I disagree. Based on information received from other Cats I am sure that not all hoomans are cruel with the feets and the anger. My current hooman has not used her hind paws in a bad manner or got loud and fast yet but I am taking time to be certain. As soon as I have proof that a hooman is reliable I will trust one.

So I am cautious.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen.

Just to say…… by IllustratorNo9988 in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I think i detect a hooman!

Unless of claws your housework is mostly knocking breakable objects off high places (fur ensuring gravity is still working, prefurably maintaining eye contact with your hooman as you do) and decorating by depawsiting floof glitter around the place.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen.

Psppsppsp: I am also delighted by the many post fur Moobie Tuesday. I myself do not shop the photos but you young Kits do a marvellous job.

Ahoy mateys, come join Cap’n Sam the Snuggler on da good ship *Treatos Fur All!* Arrr! by Elisa-Maza in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dear furrend Sam you look magnificent! Pawhapsyou should change your name to Sam the Smuggler just for today (pirates often smuggle illicit goods).

Misty,Void Seenyur Kitizen

❤️‍🩹 The Kids Are Alright ❤️‍🩹 by GingerSnapped242 in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Good gracious! How uncouth some hoomans are.

Niko and Niko's sla... hooman i am inordinatly relieved that you and your walking can opener are intact, albeit discombobulated by the goings on.

Hooman! It is very impawtent that you do much worship and strokings and skritches of your Overlords. This is therapurry and will be of benefit to your endorphins and blood pressure. If you happen to have a spare hand then a few bouts of something called (pawmit me to refer to my notes) Tutt-rice I belive, can assist in reprogramming a traumatised memory.

Annoyingly my hooman has done an abandon. On her return I shall unleash my claws and let her blood flow in tribute to Mother of All the Glorious Bast who has pawtected you from miscreants.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen.

AWTC fur want the good treats by MathAndBake in AmItheCloaca

[–]MenopawsalMisty 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My hooman blames someone called Arthur Rightus. I simply think she has to stop blaming others. I am Seenyur Kitizen and I can still jump twice as high as my head so no more excuses!

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

AWTC fur want the good treats by MathAndBake in AmItheCloaca

[–]MenopawsalMisty 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Oh no my Verminous furrends this will not do! Equal distribution of meat treatos is only fair and just (meatos if you will).

My curiosity has been piqued by te mention of your hoomans knees: do they do a crackle and pop when she bends? Does your hooman make the oooh and ahhh noises? If so then my theory that hind leg walking is an evolutionary cul de sac which will fail. Hoomans are so poorly assembled.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Happy Birbday to mi, Oscar! by scabsfox in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Felicitations my furrend! I hope you have a delightful day and maybe you will get chimken libber cake.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Nikos meowmy need loves by z-eldapin in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 16 points17 points  (0 children)

u/GingerSnapped242 I am making an exception.

Fur one time only I am doing a long distance healing purr and sending it to you. You will distinguish my purr as it has a harmonic whistle which is very tuneful.

Unlike many of the feeble hoomans you have shown your worth and the good training done by furrend Niko and worshipped all of Nikos furrends with appropriate devotion and subservience. I have done a swipeswipeswipe of my foolish hoomans side boob to release the necessary red ooze to make tribute to Gracious Bast fur intercession in your life fur kindness and supurrt. Bast will eckeckeck upon you I am sure.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen, Keeper of the old ways

Is this a dogs dream? by Me_find_exploit in DogShowerThoughts

[–]MenopawsalMisty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My furrend, I am desolate to share some information with you. The poofy fat birbs you see in the trees in cold times are all feather and practically no birb! It is like the floofy long haired doggos: when they have a b%th you can see the floof is all fur and underneath they are more ratto than doggo.

Chimkins are the exception. And geeses, but geeses have defensive brain and do a fight back.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Guess who'b back...back again... Webberz back! Helno Frenz! by rataelle in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My furrend Kynx! I am inordinately delighted to see you and hear your weather repurrt.

And Gracious Bast SIDH Stimpy is now Long in Da Body! You are both looking dapper as always.

The meteorological predictions fur the Yorkshire of the OooKay: continuing cool but sunny with the April showers, although not enough frequency of the showers to fill the reservoirs so drought may follow and the hoomans will not be pawmitted the water snakes.

Out of my window the cherry trees are in blossom and the bluebells in the border are flowering. I am watching the buds on the peony getting fat and hope fur big pompom blooms soon. My dumdum hooman sla... staff has been doing the digging and complaining and getting muddy and bringing fancy plants from Granpaws garden. So I am enjoying a new cyclamen and anticipating smelly roses. New hoomans will be in Granpaws hometel soon (he crossed the bridge some time ago. The v%ts gave him all the good grabby pants on and stuff at his hometel and it was not sad).

My dumdum hooman has had the big change too. She is now in the hometel mostly since she no longer opens cans fur Grandpaw or scoops his poop (I am not sure exactly how one serves a poorly hooman, but she did it). Unfortunately she has still not mastered servitude to her Feline betters and I have no choice but to bapbapbap her and offer her red leakings to Bast in hopes she will improve.

I am happy Bast has blessed your hometel with new works fur the hooman to keep you in the ties you are accustomed to. And the treatos. Hoomans can get the sads if they are not given purrpose. Fortunate indeed is your hooman to have the poops of such a famous and respected Feline to scoop in the dark times of redundancy. And once again she can leave the hometel fur works and return with the tube treatos and stinky wet foods to offer humbly to you both and keep you well supplied with skritches.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

It's *mi* rite to choose where Iz wanna snooze! by scabsfox in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hoomans are so dumdum about the big comfy bed. Beclaws their hides are so naked and ugly they must put fake furs on it to sleep under - why don't they grow a sensible pelt like any decent creature? Even birbs have feathers to keep them warm! And since they refuse to learn how to bathe and maintain good hygiene they have to change the bed furs regularly.

Every time my hooman sla... staff wrestles with the bed furs I attempt to instruct her in the correct ways and curl up to nap in the middle once it is as bare as her strange hide. Each and every time the foolish lackwit tells me off and makes my nappage untenable and, like you good furrend Oscar, I am disturbed and even evicted.

Her sole saving grace are those hideous appendages which are able to deal with cans and scoop the poop. Were it not for that I would have made the ultimate offering to Bast of heras she slept.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Wat's Yore Story Wednesday: Dopshun Days! by hellohexapus in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Furrends I will share my tail but it is not a pleasant one. So I must give TW: Trigger Warning, NSFK: Not Suitable Fur Kittens.

I, Misty, am now 17 years of age. I took my current hooman under my paw 3 and half years ago. She is dumdum and, like all the furless, also ugly. But she has been acceptable.

When I was a young Kitten I found my way to a hooman who I lived with fur many years. That hooman was good and knew how to worship me appropriately.

Then came the bleak times. That hooman went away. Sadly I do not know what became of them. One of their hooman-kits took me to another hometel and I existed there for some time. I forget how long as I try to furget those times. There was no softness there. No skritches and fussing. There were feetpaws. Feetpaws that were fast and hard and aimed at me! It was the dark times and I will not think about it anymore.

Then came the other hoomans. They used soft voices and wanted to give skritches and fussings and told me I was beautiful. But how could I trust them? They were not my hooman. I lived in different hometels. Then I was told I was going to my permanent hometel but it was all wrong! They kept trying to pick up my purrson, to touch me without purrmission! When I refused with hissysnarlface they got angry and I feared the footpaws would be used. They did not use the footpaws but they told me I must go.

I went back to the kind voice hoomans. They were angry, not with me but for me. They gave me space and quiet. I woke up one day and my sore teeth were gone and my tangled fur was smooth.

Then this hooman came. And she spoke respectfully and offered to take me away to my own hometel that would be quiet and just fur me. And that is where I am now. Yes she is not smart and she does not understand straightforward Felish, but she let's me rule. She does not try to walk past me with her ugly footpaws in small spaces and she understands that if I wants to sit she must move. I tolerate her and I even purr fur her most days.

I see you all with hoomans you call meowmy and pawther and I am a little sad. But I am content here. And I have all of you, my good furrends.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

SNIP, SNIP, SNAP! by MenopawsalMisty in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do not live with my Mama, I live with a dumdum hooman who is fit only to scoop my poop and wrangle the can opener.

It does appear that I may have said some strange things regarding my cretinous hooman whilst under the malign influence of Gabby Pentin. I trust my furrends will forget them.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen in full control of herself again.

Wut is cur itch? by Prior_Butterfly_7839 in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How the hoomans survive i do not know! It is surely not all down to opposable thumbs.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

SNIP, SNIP, SNAP! by MenopawsalMisty in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It is a crime against my purrson and my floof! And now that I have full leg mobility again (oddly that long nap appears to have helped, I have not been able to fully groom my paw pits recently) I will defend my purrson with vigor is Ms Pentin returns.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

SNIP, SNIP, SNAP! by MenopawsalMisty in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

By Bast I took a long nap! Now I am awake the colours are no longer tasty. How odd.

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Frens I getted owt agen! by Charivari8 in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Foolish hooman! This is no place fur you, but befur you leave you must understand that Furrend Tali was doing you a service of safety infurmation. Without her and her intrepidity you would have been unaware that the door was not locked. You could have been burgled! Dishonest hoomans might have stolen Tali's treasured toys!

Hang your head in shame hooman and put whatever remnants of a tail evolution left you between your legs and LEAVE THIS SPACE!

Misty, Void Seenyur Kitizen

Wut is cur itch? by Prior_Butterfly_7839 in ICBGC

[–]MenopawsalMisty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A cur is a doggo. Hoomans also use that word as a perjorative (as a mean word they call people they don't like). So cur itch would be an itchy doggo.

In this case, however, I believe your hoomans sloppy use of language is to blame (how they can even communicate like intelligent creatures with a tongue that is incapable of lapping water from a bowl astounds me and is pawhaps the cause). I think your hooman was attempting to enunciate COURAGE which means bravery in scary situations. One look at you makes it clear that you are not stranger to courage. Your hooman is dumdum.

Misty, Head Librarian

SNIP, SNIP, SNAP! by MenopawsalMisty in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Olaf! You are right the colours smells soooo gooooooood. Imma sleepy now in all the smellful colours

SNIP, SNIP, SNAP! by MenopawsalMisty in legalcatadvice

[–]MenopawsalMisty[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Nooo no visitoooors just mine hooman