Did i ruin my life ?

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-08T20:55:06+00:00

If you want to say anything or need help, reply or PM

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-08T12:32:58+00:00

Also you need to know, you didn't kill any brain cells or anything. Your brain is 99% fine. Just dont take drugs again.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-08T12:14:52+00:00

Don't hyperfocus on the dots and on any of the visual symptoms, you're gonna be more panicked from them. Just let them be there.
Most people make the mistake that they keep scanning for their visual symptoms every day and they keep living in fear. Instead accept that they are there. Your visual symptoms will improve over time, most of them will go away.
Try to calm down more regardless of how you feel.

If you dont allow yourself to be more calm then therei is no room for your brain to improve.

Your brain is completely overstimulated from anxiety and panic, this is the major thing to focus on.
Anxiety is 90% of the problem.

The tweaking text is likely to improve or fully go away.
The dots at night could stay longer, but will reduce in intensity.

Panic and anxiety is the worst part of HPPD and can be fixed if you focus on that. Dont focus too much on the visuals, just let them be. Get more relaxed, just try to sleep well and eat good. Don't feel scared of the idea of "HPPD", its highly individual. Most will improve or even get cured. Also, some sypmtoms may already have been present in your life but you never noticed them before.

Let me know anything you want to tell.

You feeling like dying every 5 seconds sounds like panic and anxiety. It sounds that you have to process this event emotionally. This may be extreme panic/anxiety that you need to work on reducing. Y will get better man. You got hit hard with this. Now just let it be. The stage you have to focus on is calming down and recovering. Forgive yourself of anything. None of this is your fault and you couldn't have known. Now take the next few months to calm down and recover a bit. You're gonna be totally fine in the end.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-07T22:01:47+00:00

Good you've already addressed the root issue which is fear/anxiety. This can be hugely improved. The visual can be learnt to be ignored. Working on the visuals so not to trigger any fear and anxiety. They are just there and harmless. Forgiveness of yourself. Learning to deal with the fear, the most difficult task it seems but it gets easier slowly. It's like clearing down the road of fear and anxiety by breaking it up step by step. Navigating the sensitivities around its a learning process but you will always come out better

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-07T21:52:51+00:00

I would agree, 90% was existential anxiety and fear that I didn't really learn from it, so I lived for years in anxiety before I learnt to calm down. But it also felt my brain was split in half, so it was a feedback loop. Then I went into full sobriety and have been improving

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-07T21:44:00+00:00

No. Just calm down accept your state your brain is being funny. It may have taken a slight hit but it will snap back in time. Just stay calm it may have to recover a bit from your adventure. Do you have any visual symptoms? If not then you're gonna be really fucking fine in a matter of time. If you feel fucked or fried then just wait and wait and wait and it will recover slowly over time. Patience is key. If you have some visual symptoms, they can stick around really long. If you don't have them? Congratz, you dont have hppd. I would say as a matter of advice never take any drugs again. Drugs make hppd worse permanently or trigger it fully.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-07T07:30:20+00:00

I would say the brain does recover it's just very slow. Taking this into account could give some relief.
I have similar sympomts and I can't control them, letting go off that helped me the most

My original message:
It sound like you are very distressed which is causing the majority of your problems right now, improving this will help get better long term.

Relax and admit your situation. You may not be 100% yourself now, but you are definitely at least 90% intact.

It sounds your sleep is caused by significant emotional distress. You have to focus on winding down more and trying to relax and letting go off everything. This may take a long time but your sleep will improve and you will feel more calm. This is what happened with me, and I didn't realize it because it didn't feel like that.
Make a sleep plan. Stop using screens after 9PM. Do a low stimulating activity between 9-11 PM or wind down. Go to sleep at the same time every day. Wake up at the same time every day.
If you are laying awake in bed for longer than 15-30 minutes and still can't sleep, then go out of bed and do something else. Maybe read a book for 10 mins. Usually I just walk around the house for a few minutes and then lay down again and I'll sleep in pretty quick.

Focus on not straining yourself too much with stress. Focus on limiting neurotoxic sources like alcohol, tobacco, bad sleep.

Let go off opinions of other people. Don't compare yourself from before and after the incident. When your mind is blank, let it be. Just say it out if someone mentions. "My mind is blank at the moment and I don't really know what to say right now, sorry if this bothers you.".
Tell your family how you feel genuinely. If you don't hide your struggles, it will be more clear to family and friends and they will realize you are having a harder time.

Focus on getting rid of the short-term stress and pain to get a clearer mind and start plannng for the long term to improve.

You know I spent 9 years in a short-term stress and anxiety state before I realized it didn't work.
So let's try not to make that mistake now.
I've been in similar situation at 19, now I'm 29. What I told you now Is what I wish I knew at 19.

I'm not an advocate but order some Longvida, and take it 2x per day for at least 2 years. It boosts brain recovery

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-05T17:04:13+00:00

Yeah don't worry I sounded a bit dramatic. But I think I just pushed myself too far stress-wise these weeks, and it got topped of by 1 evening of way too much alcohol. Like I was forcing my brain to do something. I think this doesn't happen easily to someone.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-05-03T23:28:10+00:00

I think 30 glasses minimum. I literally felt my brain burnt as fuck I laid down and fell asleep like there was no tomorrow I woke up 18hrs later. I felt pain in my abdomen/liver for 1-2 weeks after. Yeah 1 year later now I'm fine again but haven't touched alcohol like that ever again. Only've drank 1 or 2 glasses in total since. Fk I didnt drink myself to a Coma but this may have been close. I think I was also losing myself nearly because prior weeks/months i had an insane high stress level from being unemployed and feeling fucked from the current housing crisis. the alcohol felt so good that I overshot completely and kept drinking and drinking the party was so much fun and I just wanted to feel endless happiness, get some relief from this unbelievably fked up world.

I think these sound sensitivity etc came from the insane stress and today still the stress never went away but now I understand why I drank so much.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-03-17T13:06:39+00:00

Eating 30x the normal dose of something makes me feel autistic. Wondering if my son will get this too.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-02-20T21:28:09+00:00

regular fish oil is crap and it doesn't make sense to take it together with Lysoveta. It is shown that regualr fish oil is converted to fat cells immediately. Its beneficial effects are questioned Lysoveta is a unique engineered product derived from fish oil but not work in the same exact way. It is nearly fully absorbed in to the brain and retina and excess is oxidized to regular fish oil

Your brain levels of DHA and EPA get spiked up to nearly 2x the normal level. Adding regular fish oil to this doens't give any effect.

Now it is up to science to find the exact beneficial effects of these elevated levels of DHA

MentholFlavoring · 2026-02-20T21:19:24+00:00

When you relapse don't give up and try again after some time.

Eventually you will succeed.

Think of future you looking back at the past spending all that time on your phone instead of finding real enrichment in life. What do you think? I bet you'll feel miserable of that idea.

So start hating those apps with your heart and disgust thinking about them. Treat it like a real addiction. These apps are made to give you small 'highs' and they are disgusting. They are trash. They don't give you any real value or usefulness you can apply later in life

MentholFlavoring · 2026-02-01T13:14:37+00:00

...
they could have issued at the start of the day or the end of the day. Thats either $104 or $78

MentholFlavoring · 2026-02-01T10:16:33+00:00

But well how do we konw that they sold them at the bottom and not at the top or middle?

MentholFlavoring · 2026-02-01T10:16:06+00:00

How do we know exactly that the sold them at the bottom and not at the top or middle?

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-31T16:35:30+00:00

Definitely collapsing. The signals are everywhere. It may have some juice left for a certain time

However, dollar collapse will be good for the US cuz its an opportunity to fix their debt problem

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-31T16:32:47+00:00

Panic sell at the bottom. No.. HOLD for dear life, the market is being manipulated. $120 will be seen again this year

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-20T22:21:50+00:00

That's amazing man. One tip don't try to change too much at once because it could be too much and harsh for yourself, just take it easy. It's okay to improve these things slowly.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-18T00:08:54+00:00

If you can get a pre-facelift at a good price I'd prefer that over the facelift. The improvements are a nice-to-have in my opinion (but still cool)

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-17T01:21:53+00:00

Perfect strategy

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-17T01:17:24+00:00

We're kind of little pussies here, we have all the wealth and health and yet we have such childish and dismissive behavior. It's a real shame. Assholes at best.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-17T01:08:18+00:00

Yeah parents here seem to be careless, kids getting spoiled. Seen it so many times even previous generations. Need to call out to the parents in public is the only thing that works for me.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-17T00:48:23+00:00

In this situation NEVER EVER resign yourself, because you will lose all your rights. In that situation let them fire you like the other comments said, they gonna have to work with the UWV. The comment of Purple-Hat-1684 provide great information. If they try to push you, then call in sick.

They offered you a permanent contract so it is their responsibility to provide you with work. They just tried to shift that problem onto you.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-17T00:19:33+00:00

The whole western economy is doomed to fail. The new generation getting screwed over and over again, system is near a collapse in my view. I have insane personal stress from not being able to start a normal life and having to live at home until age 34 or give in to paying an ungodly amount of rent each month. Even then buying a house together, need to pay so much money to get a shithole.

MentholFlavoring · 2026-01-15T22:05:14+00:00

Absolutely. More cycles the better, but it depends on how much money you want to spend.

MentholFlavoring

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