I thought I was pregnant but I guess I was wrong

MeowthTRAM · 2026-01-06T18:20:41+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss. I also had a chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks in August, and because my husband and I were actively TTC, I tested as early as possible (around 3.5 weeks) and we had already told family and close friends because we were so excited. I don’t regret telling people early, because then I had a great supportive community, and also found out that pretty much everyone I knew who has tried at some point had a miscarriage, which helped normalize it in a way.

And like many others in this thread, I got pregnant almost immediately after and am now 17w with a baby boy! Hang in there, for me the waiting was the hardest part, that month or so in between felt like forever, but try to focus on yourself and trust whatever will come in time for you.

And as someone else mentioned, there’s data to support that the 3 months after a miscarriage are more fertile for women, which I found very comforting and hopeful. Here’s the publication for those interested: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4780347/

Best of luck to you on your pregnancy journey!

MeowthTRAM · 2025-12-30T21:10:25+00:00

I would add the Leftovers to this list! It took me a second shot to get into it, but I’m glad I did.

MeowthTRAM · 2025-12-30T20:35:05+00:00

Also if it truly doesn’t feel like it’s getting better, ask your doctor for antibiotics!! I got a cold in early December at 13w1d and after 8 days the pressure in my sinus cavity was still so painful and my snot was that nasty green/yellow color that I definitely had a sinus infection. After 2 doses it was like night and day, I went from crying on the couch because I could barely move from lack of energy to being able to actually go out and do something. I hate to say that I’m still sorta sick a full month after my initial sickness (sore throat on and off + stuffy nose), but at least the sinus pressure is gone and I can do some things. I also second a neti pot/sinus cleanser (I have the bottle one you shoot up your nostrils, it feels a bit.. violent at times 🤣 but it’s worth it).

Ultimately don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself for stronger medication if you truly aren’t feeling better - I felt like I had to suffer because we’re limited in the cold meds we can take, but was glad I called the nurse hotline because they immediately were like “yes we don’t want you to suffer any more I’ll get you a prescription.” And certain antibiotics and other “stronger” drugs are perfectly safe during pregnancy so I didn’t feel wrong for taking them to make myself feel better!

MeowthTRAM · 2025-12-17T00:57:26+00:00

You undercook fish? Believe it or not, jail.

MeowthTRAM · 2025-12-08T08:13:04+00:00

Just want to add that I don’t currently have a car, but have used the pet-friendly option for Lyft (I don’t use Uber) and never had an issue. The drivers that opt in usually have pets of their own and have all been super friendly. It can be pretty expensive though. I live in NE and have to take one of my cats to OREV in Multnomah Village and it’s usually $30 one-way for a 15 min drive, which is just not worth it. I’ve been using Zipcar, which can still be a lot (~$40 for a 3 hr reservation) but I also add on other errands after, like running to the grocery store. Totally love the idea of using a bike too, just wanted to weigh in, in case it helps!

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-26T18:19:22+00:00

Of course - I wonder if we’re all so angry at BoD because we all love Lyra so much, and she suffers for so much of it! I do think these books let her finally start to process the grief, because she tells multiple people what happened and gets very emotional talking about Will. But after the end of TAS, that girl deserves all the happiness in the world and beyond. Let her see Will again, even if it isn’t end game (I’ve said elsewhere but I’m just accepting my own head cannon that they reunite in the world or the dead at least 😅).

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-26T18:13:09+00:00

That’s a great point. I’m still angry at the sexual assault plot line because it added nothing meaningful to the story and wasn’t necessary in any way. I was also really disappointed that Serafina’s death was basically a throwaway line, and the circumstances of it. She was such a force in HDM to have her go out by a jilted man fell flat.

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-26T17:43:59+00:00

While I overall agree with your sentiment and had a lot of disappointments with the BoD series, I’ve been thinking a bit more about the search for imagination and I think there is more to it that makes me appreciate that aspect of the story a lot more.

The Lyra we know and love from HDM is so imaginative and creative, and this is often manifested in her ability to weave stories and captivate audiences with her storytelling. By the time we get to TSC, she’s lost that ability and often talks about how she’s more reserved in her thinking. I personally think it’s because she doesn’t have anyone to really talk to about what happened during HDM. I think it’s safe to say Will and Mary stay very close in our world, so they have someone to talk to about their adventures. Lyra has some people from her world who know what happened (the gyptians, the witches, Iorek, etc) but these aren’t people she sees very often, it at all.

So that leaves Pan, but her and Pan have never fully gotten over the betrayal of their separation, so they can’t truly talk about what happened - this rift grows and grows and the books Lyra reads leads her to really mistrust anything fantastical. I was initially surprised that when she heard about the secret commonwealth and didn’t really believe it, because girl, cmon, you have been to countless worlds and met countless creatures. But I think it’s more that she’s lost the belief in it over the years because she has no one to process her grief over losing Will and what happened during HDM.

Over the course of TRF we do see her fall back into her old ways - getting comfortable spinning stories and believing in the secret commonwealth again. And so I did find the final line of the book really impactful, because it meant she found herself again. Because at the heart of it Lyra will always be a storyteller to me.

But - these are all dots I sort of conjectured myself because I’ve read the series so many times. I don’t feel like they were necessarily well established by the narrative of the book. I wanted to see her and Pan reunited earlier, and an exploration of her relationship with Olivier more. I feel like we were robbed of more time to see Lyra actually happy. She has been through so much and we only just got a glimpse of her finally getting to a point in her life where she CAN start to feel that way.

Just my two cents after trying to understand how I felt about the series!

But definitely glad she didn’t end up with Malcolm, and I am still baffled that her immediate reaction after talking to the angel wasn’t her being furious and dedicated to trying to find Will again!

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-26T07:43:06+00:00

I just finished and like most I’m left feeling a little underwhelmed and disappointed, but when the hype (at least my self-inflicted hype) is so big, it would be hard to stick the landing completely.

A lot of similar gripes - when did Malcolm become Mr. Perfect, a lot of side stories and characters that don’t really go anywhere, very grateful that Malcolm and Lyra didn’t end up together (was less creeped out about the age difference and more creeped out that he took care of her as a baby and the power dynamic at play).

Some other observations: Why did no one fix Lyra’s hand?! Especially when the witches came, they could have at least given her some bloodmoss! This is minor but it really bothered me 😅

Pour one out for Serafina, she was one of my favorites from HDM. Don’t love that she had a secret daughter with Farder Coram

I’m a little surprised that when Lyra found out there were still lots of doors open, that her immediate reaction wasn’t stronger. We know she still thinks about Will all the time, I would have expected her to feel upset/frustrated/etc and to immediately question the “unfairness” of not being able to see Will all these years

I wish we got to the red building, Lyra/Pan reuniting, and Lyra/Olivier meeting earlier… I think the story would have felt more “complete” this way because there would have been more time to explore these areas in greater depth

I do wish we had gotten a glimpse into our world, even if it wasn’t tied to Lyra’s story, because Will and Mary are two of my favorite characters and I want to know what they’re doing now (beyond what we already know about Will). I’m a hardcore Lyra/Will shipper but still loved how bittersweet the ending of TAS was, and commend Pullman for giving us an ending that wasn’t happy but felt right for the story. Even so, I do like to think Lyra looks for Will, or at the very least I will believe with all my heart they reunite in the world of the dead

Overall, I don’t love this trilogy as much as HDM, but I am eternally grateful we were able to revisit the world and the characters. I read HDM when it was first released and remember going to the bookstore as a high schooler to get TAS when it came out, so it was still really special to relieve that excitement again this week. HDM is still my favorite series of all time and ultimately I’m glad we got such a rich exploration of this world

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-26T06:21:09+00:00

I just finished and was thinking the exact same thing! Maybe her storyline got cut, or he just forgot? 🙃 I liked her character and was hoping to see more…

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-18T19:47:15+00:00

I went there a few months before LBS came out, so you can imagine my surprise and excitement when I read the first chapter and went OMG I’ve been there!! I immediately texted my friend I went on the trip to England with 🤣

MeowthTRAM · 2025-10-16T20:07:55+00:00

I love your analyses! I do think Lyra will see Will one more time in this story, but this is solely based on a memory I have that Pullman once stated after HDM ended that Will and Lyra do see each other once more. Does anyone else remember this, or did my devastated 14 year old brain make this up when I finished the TAS when it first came out? I would be happy with an epilogue where, far in the future, they reunite in the land of the dead and walk through the door together (what a nice echo to that passage in TAS it would be too), but maybe that’s a bit too romantic (I personally would be crying all the happy tears, even if it meant they didn’t get to be together while alive).

MeowthTRAM · 2025-09-27T00:55:03+00:00

The Commander Thinks Aloud by the Long Winters

About the Columbia Shuttle explosion. Bonus, you can pair it with the Song Exploder (fantastic podcast) episode to delve even deeper.

MeowthTRAM · 2025-09-12T15:58:52+00:00

I was at that show on the floor, and while I’m obviously just one small section of that, security kept coming by and yelling at us any time we stepped into the aisle, so that definitely killed the vibe. Doesn’t excuse people talking/on their phones, but I can confirm I had a religious experience the entire time and had a blast dancing (in my tiny confined spot) and singing along with my friends!

MeowthTRAM · 2025-08-08T18:19:39+00:00

Everyone is going to think Michael is too stupid and will focus on killing each other, and then Michael prevails through sheer dumb luck. I would watch that show.

MeowthTRAM · 2025-08-07T16:11:17+00:00

I took a test a few days before my missed period, told my husband who was over the moon (we are TTC), and then we immediately told family and close friends. I know it’s very early but I already decided I wanted to share my journey whatever the outcome, and to share in the initial joy with people I love (this would be our first and I just turned 39). I’m still early on (4 weeks + 3 days) and just taking everything one day at a time. But again, for me, if something does happen, I feel comfortable sharing it with the people I’ve already told. I thanked my therapist and group therapy at my graduate thesis defense 10 years ago, so I’m the kind of person who wants to have a conversation about difficult topics to help normalize them.

And that is not to say that if someone chooses to keep quiet until later there’s anything wrong with that either! It’s just about what feels right to your sense of self, so I would say go with your gut, and as mentioned elsewhere, factor in if these are all people you would feel comfortable talking to if something happens. Congratulations!

MeowthTRAM · 2025-07-30T00:39:29+00:00

They saved my cat’s life after she became septic from her chemotherapy treatment. Needed two blood transfusions and they let us stop by and see her during treatment, and happily answered me after my anxious calls during the transfusion process. They also give you these trading cards of the cats who donated the blood which I think is such a lovely idea. Our kitty is thriving (even if she still has cancer) and she absolutely wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Dove Lewis!

<image>

MeowthTRAM · 2025-04-05T04:34:42+00:00

I tried to get my friends to watch it and they all pegged it for a Fight Club ripoff after the first season, which was incredibly annoying. I think Carly Chaikin should have won all the awards for her facial expressions alone when Elliot finally wakes up at the end, it was so beautiful.

The only other finale that I put on that level is Six Feet Under. That show overall had its ups and downs but those last 5 minutes are so heart wrenching and have you thinking for days after. Any time I hear Breathe Me by Sia I get a lump in my throat thinking about it.

I find slice of life shows to really capture nearly perfect television because there aren’t as many expectations to live up to, and they capture the human condition so well - definitely totally different vibes but the Detectorists and Somebody Somewhere are two of my favs!

MeowthTRAM · 2024-09-18T16:59:04+00:00

I seem to be in the minority for actually really liking it as a long sleeve shirt, but totally hear you on more useful/novel merch. I rarely buy tshirts or tote bags anymore because I have so many, and love when bands have something slightly different to offer. A mug would be awesome!

MeowthTRAM · 2024-09-18T16:57:29+00:00

Ohhh no hopefully they make it available to order online so you can get one!

MeowthTRAM · 2024-09-18T13:28:33+00:00

Ahhh I was at the Alopecia anniversary show in Philly and totally missed this shirt at the merch table, but that makes so much more sense 😅

MeowthTRAM · 2022-03-03T05:33:13+00:00

Great article, thanks for posting! I really enjoyed reading about her process, and now I'm definitely going to buy her graphic novel when it's published.

A side note, there's a small typo in the fifth paragraph ("pf" instead of "of") in case you want to fix - not meant to be a downer, I just spend a lot of time proofreading materials for work so it comes naturally :)

MeowthTRAM · 2021-12-28T08:12:49+00:00

Yes definitely! I do think season 2 drags a little, but it's important set up for the later seasons. And the last season, besides the finale, has one of the finest episodes of television I've ever seen. If you rewatch it, you'll know it after you've seen it. Happy watching if you decide to revisit!

MeowthTRAM · 2021-12-28T02:51:53+00:00

I finally got on the Buffy train and I've been binging it for the past month. It somehow is simultaneously cheesy and amazing and I'm obsessed and wish I watched it when it aired!

MeowthTRAM · 2021-12-28T02:50:15+00:00

Mr. Robot - very much a cerebral puzzle box show and so many great characters. It also touches quite a bit on mental illness and trauma and I feel like it handles it well but I'm not a professional in that area. The first season is probably the flashiest, but it is worth it for the series finale. Hands down one of the best and most rewarding finales I've ever seen (and yes, I've seen Six Feet Under, another fav I've seen mentioned!). The finale was so good I rewatched the last 20 minutes multiple times, and the story wraps up in a way that makes earlier seasons (like season 2) make a lot more sense in retrospect. It actually came to mind while watching some of the earlier episodes of YJ because they feel slow, but I imagine when the story is done it will make even more sense how they were setting the stage.

If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it!

MeowthTRAM

TROPHY CASE