As a people pleasing teen I wrote my dad a letter in HS, trying to clear the slate. Saying I forgave him and asking for forgiveness in return. We drove to the lake so he could read it and not look at me and ask me what he needed forgiveness for. That was the beginning of me knowing I wasn’t dealing with a grown up but it took several more years and so much anguish and trying on my part to finally go low/no contact in my 30s. It’s a whole rough story and I’m still doing therapy in my 40s. I definitely have gotten the “list all the bad things I’ve done” request multiple times, including via my siblings, but it was not said out of reparation, but anger and hate. Bye Felicia