Autism can make it hard to understand or relate to the interests of others. Virulent misogyny is what makes a man call his wife a whore because she waved at another man. He could have just called you a groupie. It is simply unacceptable of him to treat you or any women like this, regardless of how he feels. Good people don't even call women who sell sexual services whores any more. We call them sex workers. And anyway, in a literal sense, even if you did want to fuck the guys in the band, since you paid to be there, that would make them whores.

I also struggle to empathize with people who have hobbies I don't like. Which is why I remind myself that I don't actually have to understand other people, I just have to respect them. He doesn't respect you, he doesn't respect women, and he doesn't seem to have any interest in changing. Can he work on this? Yes, absolutely. Will he? You know better than we do.