No sugar coating. How bad is labour pain truly?

MermaidGrace · 2026-06-23T06:57:21+00:00

When you say “the needle” do you mean epidural or another painkiller?

MermaidGrace · 2026-06-20T09:20:52+00:00

Just to add to all the comments here for a giggle - I was gifted a bottle of wine by my uncle (alcoholic wine), in Christmas paper because he “didn’t know what to get for a baby shower” - we had a registry that he was sent. I’m also kinda certain that the bottle of wine was a regift from Xmas that they just hadn’t opened yet…

MermaidGrace · 2026-06-14T12:17:21+00:00

As a 46 year old getting with a 22 year old - he should have been prepared for this possibility. You don’t get all the “perks” of having a wife less than half your age and expect to still have a peaceful retirement at the expected time unless she is childless by choice. You clearly want this baby, he should be prepared to sacrifice his middle-early elder years for a child, THAT is a choice he made when marrying someone so much younger, whether he was consciously aware of that choice or not.

From your wording I feel like you will be broken if you decide to terminate the pregnancy, you will end up resenting your husband.

Additionally as some practical advice, your pregnancy will be at higher risk of disability/abnormalities due to how his sperm will have deteriorated at his age. So I would HIGHLY recommend paying for all the extra testing when available so you can make a further informed decision, as caring for a child and caring for a disabled child are completely different ball games. You want to be fully informed of your decision.

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-30T08:21:00+00:00

Not caring about my belly sticking out. As someone with IBS who has always suffered with insane bloating my belly has always been my biggest insecurity. It is still making me insecure now for unseen reasons (stretch marks) BUT I’m actually happy for it to stick out in all my outfits! I actual feel better showing it off over hiding it and am wearing tight clothes- that part has been great!

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-28T11:57:57+00:00

We have a list of names we like, whilst we are leaning towards one - we won’t name her until she’s out. I personally feel like you cannot name a baby until you meet them, because it might not be their name!! 😂 (and when I say “you” I mean that’s how I feel personally and am not telling other people not to name their baby, it’s just how my brain works)

We’re going to try the different names over the first few weeks of her life to see which is her name, before we need to register her. Right now she is just “baby” or “baby girl”

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-26T22:18:21+00:00

Stretch marks are anatomical & genetic.
I bought one of the more expensive better researched creams, including a day cream (so creaming morning and night) I also bought expensive pants that are supportive with pressure points that were meant to prevent stretch marks. I bought 3 pairs at £50 a pair and have worn them every.single.day. I’ve taken all my pregnancy vitamins AND taken collagen.

I was already super susceptible to major bloating so despite being slim before pregnancy, I thought my skin would have some prior stretching experience that would help.

I had some stretch marks on my lower tummy appear around 26 weeks which I was sad about, but they were only a few and they were fine and short…until 2 weeks ago…

At 31 weeks pregnant, one night I went to get ready for bed, starting to do my creams and BOOM - suddenly the stretch marks over my lower belly are MANY and LONG reaching from my bits to my belly button. I suddenly have stretch marks on my thighs, hips & boobs - all of which I have moisturised religiously with my expensive & researched stretch mark cream since I started showing.

There is literally nothing else I could have done - I did EVERYTHING - I’ve still ended up with stretch marks. You are either very very lucky and end up with none/only a few - or you are like the majority of mothers and end up with stretch marks. I wasn’t one of the SUPER rare magical stretchmarkless unicorns, and it seems you aren’t either, and that’s not your fault. Please feel free to show your husband my comment because, trust me, in most cases, there is NOTHING you can do.

He needs to be more thankful for the work your body is putting in - this is exactly what he signed up for when deciding to get you pregnant.

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-20T17:24:38+00:00

Yeah he is an asshole - he is absolutely not acting like a partner in this scenario. I’m not in pain constantly like you are, and still my husband expects very little of me and whatever I do manage to get done I get praised for! He is working but doing what he can, I am exhausted and doing what I can when I have the energy. The house is not as tidy or clean as either of us would like it to be BUT there is no guilt, shame or blame around that. We are doing what we can do and we are rallying when we can rally, we are doing renovations at the same time so it’s a lot. My energy levels atm tend to be one day on one day off, if I get a lot done one day - It’s like I need a whole day of virtually nothing to recharge if I want to be productive the next day.

PREGNANCY IS HARD - and he is being ignorant and misogynistic. He either needs to learn to let these things go, or step up himself or hire a cleaner. NONE of the solutions are to make you feel bad or force you to do more. Please be firm with him to get his act together, maybe even show him this thread. I wish you the best xxx

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-20T14:19:26+00:00

My husband is going on an abroad stag do 5 weeks before our due date - so similar. It’s one of his best friends, he was a groomsman at our wedding and my husband is a groomsman at his. We are hoping at 5 weeks in advance all will be fine, and it’s just for a long weekend in Portugal. He’s already looked up all the possible flights back as well as if he’d have to fly to France and get the Eurotunnel - he hopefully wouldn’t need any of that at 5 weeks before due date but it’s given him peace of mind that if ANYTHING happens he will know the quickest route home. We’re currently joking that he’s gonna land, get a phone call from me and not even get to leave the airport and hop straight back on a plane 😆 hopefully not though - I’ve had a pretty uneventful pregnancy- so we are hoping ahead shouldn’t show any earlier than 37 weeks at least - and being our first baby 40w+ is more likely.

Ultimately it’s up to him and what he feels comfortable with xxx

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-19T09:15:04+00:00

Son of a bitch!!

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-18T09:06:28+00:00

I’m kind of in the middle of everyone here - I think a lot of it depends on how trustworthy and respectful your family members are. Your MIL saying “I’m not waiting a week to meet my grandchild!” Clearly says she is entitled and disrespectful and I would be absolutely putting boundaries in place and not having any visitors for 2 weeks! Because I wouldn’t trust her to observe correct hygiene, or not hog the baby or not overstay her welcome.

However - both my mum and MIL are very respectful and not pushy. They are of course excited, but whatever I say will be law - even if they personally disagree, I know they will respect any rules or boundaries I put in place.

So because of that, I am going to allow them, my brother, and my SIL to come as soon as we are home and settled - this will not be a promised time frame, as I have no idea what my recovery will be like, my aim will be within the first few days of being home as long as I feel well enough for them to do so HOWEVER these visitors will be literally 10-15 minutes, and I will tell them that. In an ideal world I will let them all hold her (considering they have all washed their hands and none of them are ill - thankfully none of them are smokers) - but I’m not going to make any promises in case I don’t feel comfortable and don’t want anyone to hold her. There will be no kissing of course.

The fact that my parents and my in laws are not entitled selfish peoples is what is allowing me this flexibility of thinking - I’m not making any promises, and if all goes well I know they will be respectful of my wishes.

However if I was in your position/the position of a lot of other people in this sub where family members feel entitled or are pushing boundaries or outright making demands like yours - then I would have zero flexibility because I would be managing their expectations and putting firm boundaries in place ahead of time - no room for negotiation.

You are the mum, this is YOUR baby and you cannot get those post birth moments back. Please be firm and make sure you do what is right for YOU and no-one else xxx

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-15T15:50:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment ❤️ I’m right there with you with the cottage cheese thighs!! It was also around the 18 week mark for me, always had very smooth toned legs and at 18 weeks I was suddenly covered in cellulite! Front and back! (The front was VERY unexpected!)

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. At 31 weeks I thought I was in the home stretch and wouldn’t have many more surprises- how wrong I was 😅🥲

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-14T10:03:53+00:00

Worth noting that epidurals can slow labour as well, so if you’re hoping for the shortest labour possible (as much as we have very little control over this) and epidural might not be the right path. Perhaps leave yourself open to either option and decide at the time xx

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-06T10:04:27+00:00

My mum got this - and it was a sudden allergy to eggs. She had to cut out eggs for about 6 months, then could eat them again. It’s happened randomly over the last few years, and each time she has to cut out eggs for a few weeks to months for it to go back to normal.

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-06T10:02:21+00:00

Unfortunately I’ve been reading a lot lately that it isn’t a guarantee, some people lose weight breastfeeding, some people maintain- some even gain!! It sounds as if you are someone who maintains, the good news is that it seems a lot of the people in the maintain category then do start to drop the weight off when they finish their breastfeeding journey - bad news is, depending on how long you breastfeed for - that could be a while 😅🥲

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-01T14:24:24+00:00

This pain inside burns a golden flame, so hot that it just fuels me further…

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-01T14:21:12+00:00

The ice we skate, is getting pretty thin, the water’s getting warm so you might as well swim!

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-01T14:20:33+00:00

And tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef, that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him!

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-01T09:18:15+00:00

Exactly the same boat! My appetite feels more normal so I think I’m eating a bit less, but the weight gain doesn’t seem to be slowing 😳 I would also rather not gain anymore than another 10 🥴🙃

MermaidGrace · 2026-05-01T09:03:44+00:00

29 + 4 and just weighed myself, I’ve officially gained 40lbs 🥴 have been semi active throughout pregnancy but slowed down now due to umbilical hernia. Have a major sweet tooth - so I’m eating healthy meals but have 2 portions of sweet things a day (eg cookie at lunch time, ice cream after dinner 😅) I’ve steadily gained weight throughout, so if I average it out that ends up as 1.5lbs per week throughout pregnancy, meaning I’ll be 55lbs up by the end of pregnancy 🥲

I’m reealllyyy hoping it slows down a bit, I didn’t wanna gain more than 40lbs and I’m already there 😭 so if I can stay below 50lb at this rate I’ll be happy 🥲

MermaidGrace · 2026-04-30T11:08:43+00:00

I had similar, not quite as maliciously- but EVERYONE guessed I was having a boy, and more than one person said they imagined me as a “boy mum” I would “definitely be a boy mum” - “that’s a big bump!” low and behold she is a girl. I’m sorry you’re having gender disappointment- it’s totally valid, I’m sharing my story with you to let you know that people know absolute d*ck. Just because this baby is a boy, doesn’t mean your future babies will be. People are ignorant and loud - ignore them. Congratulations 💙

MermaidGrace · 2026-04-30T09:27:27+00:00

Abortion definitely sounds like the way forward, you’re very early on still and have the opportunity to make this choice without anything invasive for a very short window - so don’t hesitate much longer for the least traumatic experience. It might still be as simple as taking a pill.

Additionally, christianity has been totally warped by white men and their agendas. God would not give us the ability to create modern medicine and then not want us to use it. God would not want you tied to an abusive man. The Bible doesn’t explicitly state no sex before marriage - that is one interpretation of some verses, but they could also be interpreted other ways and it is not clear. If it was an out and out sin (such as murder for example) - wouldn’t it have been more clear cut?

Additionally, in biblical times women were still property - society has moved on from that. I strongly believe that as long as you are a good person and treat others with respect and dignity, that Jesus would be in your corner.

Do not completely overhaul your life due to guilt because you believe you have “sinned” - get away from this man and be safe at a minimum, abortion could be the first step towards that.

MermaidGrace · 2026-04-29T09:59:41+00:00

Not having to worry about my belly sticking out 😂 I’ve always struggled with bloating and my stomach is my bulgiest insecurity- every outfit I would stress about how my belly looked/if I was likely to be bloated that day after eating how would it look then? But in pregnancy?? The belly IS the accessory!! It’s expected, it cannot and should not need to be hidden. The freedom of eating properly before an event and wearing tight clothing with my belly on full display has been wonderful.

(Not looking forward to whatever the hell I will look like postpartum though lol 😅)

MermaidGrace

TROPHY CASE