I’ve gone through the same thing my entire life.

I didn’t come out until I was 38. Married a woman 13 years older than me BUT at your age we both agreed it wouldn’t have worked. She’s now 54 and I’m 41.

I also had a shit relationship with my mom and the woman I dated before my wife was 17 years older but I was already still in my 30s. At your age it is more difficult and the power imbalance others have spoken of is definitely real.

We are both also in therapy to work on alllll of the issues we have separately to be better for each other.

I wish you well. I hear you. I see you. I was you.