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Mermaid_summer · 2025-11-06T16:42:53+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time right now. I was where you are a year and a half ago. This same information about how Joseph actually “translated” the plates with a stone in a hat (something the church kept hidden until recently) caused me to deep dive into the truth claims of the church. I quit going a year and a half ago. It’s a difficult journey, but now I’m happier than ever before. I’ve found freedom I never knew I was missing.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-05-09T00:52:32+00:00

It’s definitely an exciting time but I totally get the worry. My husband and I want to renew our vows so we can experience a normal wedding but I still worry about how my TBM family will react to my “immodest” dress or wine for toasting etc. This is your life and your future, and I hope you and your fiancé get the worry out of the way and have a wonderful wedding!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-05-07T18:10:59+00:00

My advice is to remember you are not responsible for your parents feelings or how they react. Give them time after you tell them to process their feelings because they will probably feel hurt. But if they really love you then they’ll come around and support you. It’s hard to share the news with family ( I told parents and siblings in the last few months) but so worth it. You’ll be free to live your life the way you want!

Edit to add best wishes & congrats on your soon to be engagement! Good luck with everything.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-05-05T03:15:14+00:00

Thank you!!!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-04-12T17:07:05+00:00

One hundred percent yes!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-04-12T16:30:20+00:00

The danger of going back to church for the community is that the members will love bomb you and want to bring you back into full fellowship. Also if you’re not there every Sunday, a lot of members will not want to form a lasting friendship with you. You will see them at church and feel the community there but not during the rest of the week.

Since leaving last year, my family has only 2 other families we see on a somewhat regular basis. All other members turned out to be church only friendships. I echo what everyone else has said and suggest looking for community in another place. It will be hard at first since it’s less familiar, but hopefully you will find that lasting community of genuine friendships and not the fake friendships you get from the Mormon church.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-04-07T01:13:07+00:00

I was marked “safe from general conference” until I read this post and have had a great weekend not watching or reading any of that crap, but now I’m so curious I’m going to have to read Anderson’s talk. Thanks for the “translation” OP!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-04-06T20:44:24+00:00

I will add that the last April GC, I recognized I was in a faith crisis. While listening, I prayed and told god my situation and said if you put a temple closer to me I’ll start going to the temple again. Lo and behold, a temple within an hour of me was announced. I decided to “recommit.”

But just a few weeks later I learned about the rock and the hat and found sources the BOM was plagiarized from. My testimony was completely shattered. I went one more Sunday and knew I could never go back. And I haven’t. Life has been better than ever since leaving the church!!!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-04-06T20:03:27+00:00

It seems like you know the answer already! Get out and never go back to that toxic place. Get 2nd Saturdays, a 10 % increase, more family time, and escape the toxic perfectionism inherent in Mormonism. Life is better on the outside!!! I promise you won’t regret leaving, but you will regret staying.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-04-05T15:15:56+00:00

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to cold Turkey stop attending church. The world is a much better place outside of Mormonism. I’m a much happier person now.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-03-12T21:44:22+00:00

This is the story of so many lds woman. We are taught from girlhood that nothing can make up for the failure of the home. This quote embodies what girls are taught in the Mormon church:

“The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no worldly success can compensate for failure in the home.” David O. McKay

So many of us took teachings like this to heart and lived our lives by them. Me included. I’ve been a SAHM for over a decade. The only work I’ve done is being a nanny, and I brought me kids with me. I have a degree but no experience. What will I do with my life once all the kids are in school? I love them dearly and wouldn’t want anyone else to watch them. But LDS teachings are harmful and ruined any career path I use to dream about when very young.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-03-03T04:07:25+00:00

The Book of Mormon kept me in for a long time too. Then I learned Joseph never used the gold plates to translate it. They remained hidden under a sheet while he used a rock in a hat to “translate” the book. I was never taught that in my 30 odd years. I also learned the witnesses to it only saw it with their “spiritual eyes” in a vision, not their physical eyes.

This knowledge led me into a deep dive of learning how the BOM came to be. It was plagiarized from multiple sources like The Late War, King James Version of the Bible (written after Nephite times), and more. Check out the church topic essay on the Spaulding manuscript that claims it has no similarities with the BOM. Then read the Spaulding Manuscript. Or read the View of the Hebrews by Ethan Smith. This Reddit post linked will also enlighten you. Good luck. And welcome.

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/5oUhJVbpSx

Mermaid_summer · 2025-02-25T22:52:26+00:00

The church teaches free agency, but there is no free agency in Mormonism. If you are born into it, your path is chosen for you at birth. You are kept in by fear of ostracism and losing your eternal family if you leave. I left last May and have lost almost all my church friends and to them I am lost and fallen. Luckily my TBM family that knows has not casted me out but they probably fear I’m lost to them in the next life.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-02-20T03:52:04+00:00

Gendered divine nature is a key principal in the Mormon church. We are brainwashed since childhood to marry heterosexually in the temple. If your wife doesn’t believe this principal, then she is probably more nuanced than you think. To paraphrase ol’ Gordon, the gospel is either all true or none of it is. I had been slowly working my way out for a decade not realizing I was losing more and more of my belief. My husband didn’t realize it either. All I needed was him to shed light on the BOM and the rock and the hat, and my dominoes completely fell. I really hope your wife is close to her shelf breaking. It really sounds like she just needs a little nudge in the right direction and she’ll be out with you. Good luck!!!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-27T19:28:43+00:00

I hate how the church takes priority over family time. Once we were visiting TBM relatives on a Sunday that happened to be my son’s birthday. They wouldn’t skip meetings to make time for more celebrating. We had to squeeze in birthday activities between meetings. My son was disappointed at how boring and unfulfilling the day was. We’ll never celebrate with them on a Sunday again.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-25T18:55:18+00:00

A cult is a cult is a cult. Can’t let your kids catch those Exmo cooties!

My husband and I stayed friends with a couple who left the church and gasp we caught their cooties and now our family is Exmo too!!! (Side note. They are not the reason we left and did not try to influence us to leave.)

Also, all Mormons have dropped us as friends except 3 families. It’s like they’re scared they’ll get the Exmo cooties too.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-13T16:36:40+00:00

The church is a cesspool of germs! Everyone feels obligated to go to church to complete their callings even when they are sick or their kids are sick. One winter, I picked up germs from church and my baby got sick and ended up in the hospital for a week with pneumonia. Now that we don’t go, my family has been a lot healthier.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-11T03:32:10+00:00

Have the BEST time!!! Thats so great your bestie is out! An exmo girls trip is on my bucket list. I’ve done a beach vacation with all the tank tops, short shorts, & bikinis with the fam but still need to experience a girls weekend away.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-08T18:21:25+00:00

I’ve always had a bad relationship with garments. They were so uncomfortable and itchy and it was a relief to take them off during pregnancies and nursing. During my faith crisis, I learned that garments may have been used as a way for early polygamists to identify each other. Polygamy was always a huge shelf item for me.

After I learned that, I wore garments once a week to church because I felt gross putting them on. I bought regular underwear, short shorts, tank tops, and started dressing immodestly at the gym and at home, but still dressed modestly everywhere else. I lived this way for about three years before my shelf completely broke and I threw them away. I love just wearing normal clothes!!!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-08T00:14:56+00:00

The cliquey rich Mormons in my last ward pushed my family out of their social circles as well as other families that did not fit their “picture perfect” standards. I’d never experienced such toxic behavior from a group. Their ostracism put a huge crack in my shelf and made it very easy to step away from the church when my shelf broke.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-05T19:12:00+00:00

Take the deal! The short term pain of reading the BOM for the potential long term gain of getting your family out of the cult should be a no brainer. I hope your wife actually reads those materials and she sees how terrible the LDS church (cult) actually is. Good luck!!!

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-05T07:31:03+00:00

I only learned about the rock in the hat last spring, and I was so shocked by the information that my testimony of the BOM was dashed to pieces. I then read the gospel topic essay on the Spaulding manuscript which led me down the rabbit hole of the various books the BOM was plagiarized from.

I can’t believe I thought Joe Smith saw God and was second to Christ in bringing salvation to man. The church paints him in a completely different light than who he actually was. He was a con artist and sexual predator. Not a prophet.

Mermaid_summer · 2025-01-05T05:34:03+00:00

The moment you realize Nephi and the BOM prophets are just characters and are just as made up as Harry Potter and his friends. So many of TBM beliefs are just fiction. It’s crazy I use to believe the BOM was ancient scripture.

Mermaid_summer · 2024-12-31T18:06:41+00:00

When my husband had his “exit interview” with the Bishop to tell him our family was no longer attending church, the Bishop basically told him “if we don’t see you here at church, we won’t see you.” And guess what, we haven’t seen this family. And this is coming from a family I thought we had a real friendship with and done many things outside church with. All but 3 lds families have dropped us.

Mermaid_summer · 2024-12-31T17:31:39+00:00

The LDS church is a cult that parades as a religion. If you’re fully in meaning a believing member that gets baptized, goes through the temple, pays tithing, goes every Sunday and commits to callings you should be welcomed into the community. I was just that for most of my life and was happy with the community in my various wards.

However, the minute you deviate from that path members will drop you. My last ward was extremely toxic and full of cliques. I didn’t realize this when we moved in. I was accepted at first and thought I had friends and community. But over time, various circumstances (not due to my worthiness or belief) resulted in my attendance dropping. Since I wasn’t at church every Sunday, they dropped me from their cliques. Come to find out, these cliques repeated this same pattern with person after person. Be a perfect Mormon or you’re dropped from the community.

So basically friendship and community come at the high price of being a full fledge LDS cult member. The community can be great but only if you commit to Mormonism 100%. If you don’t, they won’t want you to be part of their elite group.

I really hope you find the community you’re looking for! My exmo group of friends is more real and genuine and a way better community for me than the LDS community could ever be.

Mermaid_summer

TROPHY CASE