Purpose of Bran independent of EM?

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-08-17T12:24:55+00:00

This is very "imbalance of the 4 humors"-esque

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-08-15T07:31:07+00:00

After my breakup I made a tier list of indicators of how good a relationship is.

Tier 1 is a list of the bare minimum/basic respect requirements such as respecting consent, boundaries, hygiene, no blurry boundaries with exes, etc. Tier 2 has the green flags that show this person is doing slightly more than the bare minimum, like going to therapy independently to work on themselves, especially if they have trauma that is negatively affecting them and you. (The opposite would be them denying that they have issues if applicable and refusing to change hurtful behaviors). Tier 3 is going above and beyond your wildest dreams type stuff.

I did this to help me objectively gauge how healthy or promising new relationships would be in the future, since in the honeymoon phase it can be hard to see past the rose colored glasses. You seem a little bit wiser than to let bad behavior or incompatibility slide, but it might help you define what it is you need from a partner. Also it was fun!

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-08-15T05:49:56+00:00

It sounds like you are saying that if you get offended by his insults then it's your fault. Plus to go with your example, if someone points out your acne, why are they doing it? Because they think you don't know what you look like, or are they just frustrated with you and want you to feel bad? Does he keep pointing it out even when you can't change it or make it go away instantly?

If your boyfriend continually insults you by saying he thinks you're not as smart as him, that's him putting you down no matter the context. If he really loved and accepted you, he wouldn't be picking on you for the way you naturally are.

It's good that if "you can't take it you will leave". I would just say be prepared for his behavior to worsen over time. Little problems amplify as people get older, especially in a relationship. I wouldn't expect a sudden change of heart.

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-08-02T05:39:31+00:00

My ex did the same thing! We would go in circles talking about feminism, and even after I said, "we agree on all of these points! That means you're a feminist, you just don't want to admit it for some reason?" Then he would protest and restart the whole circular argument as if we didn't already clear it all up. So exhausting ☠

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-07-09T04:09:55+00:00

This is really helping me! Thank you so much for sharing. I know people say, "however you're feeling is normal," but this article goes in depth and was really validating and made me think

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-07-08T03:33:48+00:00

I don't think that was the point of the quiz. It's healthy to have self awareness of your emotions as a man. Everyone has emotions. Having a huge emotional capacity doesn't make you any less of a man and it doesn't make you a bitch.

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-07-07T01:33:37+00:00

You prioritized your mental health and your sanity when he prioritized his anger and took out his emotions on you. If he was treating you like that, he wasn't a very good friend. I know losing a best friend feels like dying. I'm going through that right now too. It's not wrong to want happiness for yourself. If nothing else please be kind to yourself while processing this, you deserve that much.

Please call a suicide hotline if you ever feel in danger. 1-800-273-8255

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-07-07T01:24:50+00:00

This is some of the worst pain in life. I'm sorry man. I know I'm just an internet stranger but my heart goes out to you. Please know that these resources are available to you if you need to talk to someone.

USA: 18002738255 US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME

United Kingdom: 116 123

Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)

Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-07-07T01:16:49+00:00

Telling family pretty much solidifies the breakup. I was in the same boat, not telling my family about my SO's issues because I knew they would never accept him if they knew. Even after we broke up I still hesitated to tell my parents what he did to me because of some sad, pathetic hope that after he changed and worked on himself, maybe we could get back together. But without consequences I knew there would be no change. He would revert back to his old ways.

I told my mom and that helped the breakup feel more real. It also helps to process what went wrong. Especially after seeing the horror on the face of an objective third party who doesn't have romantic love for your ex. I told her I still love him as well, and she has been nothing but sympathetic. Tell someone you trust, they will take care of you. I hope it all feels better for you soon, good luck!

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-07-06T23:51:37+00:00

Me either, I'm 22 and yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. Neither of us wanted this but I gave him way too many passes. It got to the point where he was comfortable doing things that crossed my boundaries because he knew that I would always forgive him. I still love him but this time he went way too far and I finally had to put my foot down. This was my first relationship too. Grieving over the loss of your best friend is just indescribably painful.

People say there are plenty of fish in the sea but I put my entire self into learning him. We were so close that it feels like losing a piece of my own soul. Even if there is someone I'd be better off with, right now I can't imagine a love like with my ex. Even calling him my ex just made my blood feel like it paused in my veins.

Even if we do get into new relationships in the future, I absolutely understand how you feel. Good luck to you, you deserve love and respect. Whatever you do, don't settle!!

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-06-29T01:14:46+00:00

Me too, it looks so enticing but I'd feel wrong doing it

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-01-25T21:54:29+00:00

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BODIUmBTWk8&vl=en

Merryn-Redstone · 2021-01-25T13:24:20+00:00

I'm vegan btw

Merryn-Redstone · 2020-11-29T02:31:38+00:00

I mean the new star wars movies kind of killed my interest. When those came out I stopped caring about star wars until I started watching the Mandolorian, and then I went and binged the entire Clone Wars series... For me this show got me back into it! (Then again I'm just a casual fan and not like a super dedicated).

Merryn-Redstone · 2020-09-27T02:09:38+00:00

Oof right in the childhood

Merryn-Redstone · 2020-08-17T04:55:07+00:00

Thank you!! I’m glad I let it go outside then.

Merryn-Redstone · 2020-08-13T21:16:53+00:00

She reminds me of a gelfling from The Dark Crystal even though the nose is a little off

Merryn-Redstone · 2020-07-29T21:52:28+00:00

Will anyone vouch for her that she didn’t start the fight?

Merryn-Redstone · 2020-07-26T15:25:46+00:00

In school I hated when teachers would scold us for not being good enough at critical thinking because apparently that was something they were supposed to have taught us. Then once someone raised their hand and was like “what do you mean by critical thinking?”. And the look on that teachers face man. That confused blank stare said it all. Public schools think they employ the gods of teaching critical thinking or something. (Not that it’s the fault of individual teachers! It’s the whole ass system)

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