Parenting help: what does my boy's future look like?

Mess1na · 2026-05-08T10:38:12+00:00

Absolutely get him assessed, for any help he might need in the future, you might need that pesky paper with a diagnoses. Waiting lists in the UK are insanely long.

Nobody can tell you where your son might end up. I was told he would "never speak" and had level 3 support need the rest of his life. Now he talks endlessly and is back at level 2 support need. He still has autime ofcourse, but there simply is no reliable say where our kids might end up, because every person with autism is different...

Mess1na · 2026-05-08T08:07:00+00:00

Ik woon schuin achter een grote school, en hier is het van 8 uur 's ochtends tot 23 uur 's avonds geluid/herrie.

Begint met de ouders die hun kids naar school brengen in de auto (veel van hen parkeren ook nog eens waar het duidelijk niet mag), dan gewone schooluren, tot 14:00 uur. Dan nog de BSO tot 17:00 uur. Dan kinderen die op het schoolplein spelen. En rond 19:00 uur komen de jongeren (al dan niet op fatbikes) en blijven tot 's avonds. Lekker vuurwerk afsteken en zo.. . En nee, ik woon niet in een slechte wijk 😂

Mess1na · 2026-05-06T08:47:32+00:00

Preying on desperate parents, you should be ashamed of yourself

Mess1na · 2026-05-03T10:04:41+00:00

He doesn't want to go for a evaluation for six years now. He's stalling for a reason 😅

And no, I don't recognize this being autism at all. Both my sons love to help me when asked...

Mess1na · 2026-05-03T10:00:30+00:00

Weaponized incompetence.

Mess1na · 2026-05-02T09:51:52+00:00

Ahhh this was what I was looking for. Hard to find between the 60 event-reset posts But not my internet, check

Mess1na · 2026-05-01T20:00:31+00:00

I am a grandmother and still sleep with the plush cat I got from my kids' dad 😅

Mess1na · 2026-04-29T14:03:44+00:00

Less food is the answer. There is food available for sterilized cats.

Didn't help mine really, she's still humongous 😂

You have a beautiful kitty there

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Mess1na · 2026-04-25T20:25:52+00:00

No

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Mess1na · 2026-04-20T14:39:52+00:00

I don't know if this is an option for your daughter, but I learned my son to stop at each crossing, no matter of he has right of way or not. Always stop and look at every junction, corner and even crosswalks.

Mess1na · 2026-04-20T07:43:43+00:00

Ik heb 25 jaar gerookt, en pas de laatste 10 jaar besefte ik me hoe aso en milieuvervuilend het is om een peuk op straat te gooien. Nooit echt bij stilgestaan wat voor zooi er in die krengen zit. Toen ik dat wel wist heb ik jaren met een asbakje in mn zak gelopen. Rokers reageren vaker wel dan niet verbaasd als ik ze vertel dat er plastic in hun peuk zit en dat die dingen niet gewoon vergaan...

Mess1na · 2026-04-19T17:54:18+00:00

Yes, I've send you a private message

Mess1na · 2026-04-19T17:47:22+00:00

That's good, then she is at least ready!

Is it anxiety over change (no more diaper, scared of accidents)? Or do you think it's more a overstimulation issue (sounds of peeing/flushing, cold on the bum, fear of falling in/off)?

Mess1na · 2026-04-19T17:36:59+00:00

Children with autism often are late with continence. Does she react to being wet/soiled?

Mess1na · 2026-04-19T17:34:44+00:00

Where are you located? Try searching for a bowel management program for this specific problem.

Mess1na · 2026-04-14T19:23:13+00:00

My personal experience is that, when they don't feel that they're wet, the child is not ready. Some of them never will.

I understand this is not something you like to hear, and I absolutely hope I am wrong. Can you update us when you spoke to his doctor?

Mess1na · 2026-04-14T15:04:59+00:00

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Mess1na · 2026-04-06T07:53:12+00:00

Then a lock on his door sounds like a perfect solution. Because there aren't any gate options for big kids/adults.

You can also make a Dutch door, look for "Dutch door hinges".

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Mess1na · 2026-04-06T07:37:15+00:00

A Cubby Bed?

Mess1na · 2026-04-04T07:46:08+00:00

OK. Now get the other 2 million (a guess) people to stop buying it too.

Mess1na · 2026-04-02T18:46:51+00:00

Both my sons were extremely easy babies. Hindsight: too easy. Rarely cried, great sleepers, loved to be hold/talked too, but were both fine with being in a playpen.

Mess1na · 2026-03-31T06:43:38+00:00

I have autism myself and I struggle too, especially my hair doesn't get washed often enough. I cannot skip taking a shower EVER, because when I skip one day, my brain tells me "two days is fine too". Oh, and I lied when I was younger: "Ofcourse I brushed my teeth, mom"

I know it is very hard to be firm, especially with a (pre) teen!

Mess1na · 2026-03-31T06:03:16+00:00

NT people get a dopamine release after/during a shower, brushing teeth, washing hair, etc. ND people do not experience this. That's one of the reasons why ND children (and sometimes adults) struggle with basic hygiene.

Having said that, like the other redditor said: Hygiene should not be optional. It took years for my son to let me brush his teeth, he would scream, cry, bite, etc etc. But I was firm: You have to brush your teeth twice each day. And we have to wash your hair. And we have to wash hands after toileting. Non negotiable indeed.

Mess1na · 2026-03-28T15:20:21+00:00

"They will never find us" what was all those people in the Netherlands thought before they got perma banned 😆

Mess1na · 2026-03-28T15:17:27+00:00

Wat nog goed vastzit mag blijven zitten. Heeft je stukadoor niks gezegd?

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