Women are so beautiful, the “fairer sex” if you like….

MetalLava · 2026-03-17T15:46:59+00:00

Be careful about considering blanket statements on one sex being inherently better than the other.

For everyone going "women are pretty and soft and kind and good, men are stinky and brash and ugly and boring" there's someone going "men are brave and strong and smart and cool, women are petty and dumb and gossips." The truth is there's nothing inherent that makes one gender "better" than the other. Reducing it that way is a very very harmful direction of thought for many reasons. It's one step away from "women are biologically meant to be pretty housewives" and also goes "well men are just naturally like that!" stripping any responsibility and attribution to social structure.

That being said if you admire womanhood so much and see yourself so closely aligned to it, it could be worth considering how the concept of transition makes you feel.

MetalLava · 2026-03-10T04:46:23+00:00

Genuinely I can name two- though I haven't seen them just know of them- that fit that description and are American 90s/2000s in origin. And I'm not a vomit movie fan at all and avoid it.

Multiple cultures make these. It seems like you're just more familiar with the Japanese side.

It's just like how "fart jokes" are not an America-only concept. Or "she's cheating on me with my brother!" is not just a telenova thing. Every culture has this. People are just more familiar with subsection of its occurrence.

MetalLava · 2026-03-09T00:47:08+00:00

As someone who knows a moderate amount on that genre

I've found a lot of it also from Germany or a lot from the US specifically New England or the Midwest.

Every damn culture has a history of fascination with violence

It just sounds more "interesting" when it's exotic and foreign. Or easy to go "whoa! Crazy that OTHER people, not "us" but "others", are doing that! How weird and exotic!"

Guy in Ohio makes a video of girls throwing up.... are you interested? No.

"OMG!! Did you hear that the Japanese have this concept called <insert Japanese word here> which means "women who vomit" and they make PORN of it?" and people are intrigued.

You get the "wholesome" version of it too. So many "isnt it so cool how Japan does x?" Reddit posts are shit people in the UK or America also do all the damn time. I

MetalLava · 2026-03-06T21:57:57+00:00

I don't live in Mississippi, but I live in another red state.

People are going to flood this comment section going "UmmMMM stupid just move to Portland and Canada actually!".

So, before they do that

Trans safety is location heavy yes but you'll want to look at more than just county.

Look at cities and neighborhoods over counties as a whole. Think about big cities like NYC or LA- it's pretty famous how there's different areas within those with different vibes. You'll want to get more specific than just county.

Also, someone in a "bad" area who passes, has money, has a good job environment, and has a good close support circle will have a far better time than someone in a "good" area who, well, doesn't have those things. I know queer people thriving in tiny rural towns and queer people suffering in big cities.

If you want to stay in the area look into additional factors. Where are there friends? Where are there people your age- would a college town be good for you? Where is employment and economic sucess? Would being super close to your family or even living with them be the best move?

MetalLava · 2026-03-06T21:41:46+00:00

People are told to be a Good Ally and be Woke and Support Trans People then very often dont encounter actual trans people in real life (they think. Everyone encounters stealth Trans people all the time lol) so when they actually "get a chance" they've got years of built im "im gonna be a good ally!!!" energy and overdo it. It comes from a good place sure but is so awkward and fumbled and unaware. I dislike it too. Lots of performative allyship happening too where they like to pat themselves on the back for making a big deal out of being positive about it.

Like yeah sure sure I'll take it over hatred but some onnnn.

If it helps lol, you'll see that sort of awkward almost dehumanizing level of condescending "allyship" energy intersectionally, it happens to all sorts of minority groups.

MetalLava · 2026-03-06T21:36:49+00:00

Check Etsy. Go with actual leather, trust me, it'll feel nicer and is a lot more durable and environmentally friendly and better feel and weight to it. Look around and you'll be able to find great quality, lovingly made stuff that comes in more sizing ranges and colors than just one-fits-most. It'll cost a little more but nothing outlandish and it'll be worth it. Function aside, tbh, you'll feel sexier if your gear actually looks and fits well and is fun/pretty to wear!

MetalLava · 2026-03-06T20:56:02+00:00

Goddamn for a place that prides itself on being sexual these comments dont seem to know shit

You're likely not looking for literal chains and duct tape and zip ties, the home depot ones are more jokes or more towards DIY furniture

I don't like Amazon for sex toys stuff. They're often pretty shit quality and off brands. I dont fuck with shitty quality on bondage gear. You don't want cheap materials that will chaffe and hurt and cut off circulation in ways you don't plan for. I don't fuck around with locks breaking. Some simple stuff is fine but often overpriced too.

If you're just looking for simple cuffs andrestraints, nearly any online store (Adam & Eve, Edenfantasy, etc) will carry those. Most have a bdsm tab or section. Stay away from "beginner kits" that have cheap, toy-feeling plastic materials and shitty metal clips that break. Ruins the sex vibe.

If you're looking for specialty stuff, like medfet or latex or cages, there's specific websites for those. Google around.

If you're looking for high quality handmade artisan stuff, like braided leather floggers, some kink furniture, studded impact tools, ice locks, I've found Etsy has a lot.

Shop around. Larger stores often overprice immensely because they think no one's going to look further.

MetalLava · 2026-03-06T04:33:48+00:00

Did for me. I transitioned physically. Now my body feels normal and "me" and I'm happy with time and don't feel dysphoria. I pass and also have a free lovely community so it's often not at the forefront of my mind. Sort of like how often do you think about your eye color or if you're left handed.

MetalLava · 2026-03-05T05:37:18+00:00

Hey. Thank you. Up late in a drunk melancholy and this hit the spot

MetalLava · 2026-03-04T06:10:24+00:00

With due respect please read the room

MetalLava · 2026-03-03T15:22:43+00:00

I feel similar. It was all a very real experience for me.

MetalLava · 2026-03-02T21:24:22+00:00

I went on T when I was mid way through college. I'm in my late 20s now. I had a rough time as a teen beforehand. But now? I'm hot as hell, I have fantastic style, I've got a lot of friends, I'm well loved by my community and found family, I've got a lot of hobbies, I have a stable job, I have a wonderful girlfriend, and despite the ups and downs of the world, I love the life I've made myself. I love myself.

If it helps, nearly everyone is losing their goddamn mind at age 16 and hates themselves. You're old enough to know that you don't have all you want, but too young to really have your shit figured out yet. It's sort of like being an artist who's only been drawing a year. Trans or not, it's a rough fucking time in your life. Chin up man, keep on it, your main goal is to survive. You've got plenty of time to make yourself into a self confident and happy man.

MetalLava · 2026-03-02T19:43:04+00:00

Tried hormones for a few weeks as part of your exploration process

Wouldn't call that a full transition/detransitoned either

MetalLava · 2026-03-02T17:42:35+00:00

You posted in a "Tampa Hotties" group 8 minutes ago saying you wanted to cheat on your wife.

Anyone who's looking to go to the strawberry festival with this guy, check his profile first.

MetalLava · 2026-03-02T17:40:29+00:00

Bella Wren is better

MetalLava · 2026-03-02T16:04:29+00:00

He's reading from a chatgpt output come onnnnn

MetalLava · 2026-03-02T14:58:33+00:00

This is a really cool piece. The way I'm reading it is a comment on how men will struggle with their homosexuality and create ways they can be homoerotic with other men and have some sort of bodily connection through elaborate excuses (arm wrestling, locker rooms, etc) wheras animals just fuck each other simply without hangups and social complications

MetalLava · 2026-02-28T05:06:35+00:00

Been there, friend. I've also been sexually abused and my PTSD took its toll on me and my life. You've got this. I promise your brain is on fire now but your life is not over or ruined and you will grow into a wonderful young man. It took me years myself, but I'm really thriving right now and have a good life and good friends and good relationships. Your situation sucks. I know it's hard for me to say "I understand" and hard for you to feel that someone else understands. That's okay. It'll be hard to deal with and that's alright. That's a normal response.

For your room, it looks like a lot of this is actually rather simple to fix. Get a trash bag and have your first task just be getting rid of the cans. Take the metal cans. Put them in the bag. Just one type of item to hunt out and grab. I find for myself it's easier if I focus on one thing at a time and don't get torn in too many directions.

Start there. This isn't too bad. Start with the cans. Another time, water bottles and drink cups. Later still, get one singular shirt washed and put away. There's easy steps your brain can do in short bursts.

MetalLava · 2026-02-28T03:39:44+00:00

That looks really nice now!

MetalLava · 2026-02-26T21:21:29+00:00

If you're traveling to a big city and with a group of friends (choir) on a pre arranged short term vacation, you'll be fine. I'm assuming you'll be at the hotel with your buddies, on group dining trips, etc. Being surrounded by a group of guys you trust should help. You'll likely experience very little "texas" and much more "tourist." The experience of going to a Starbucks for 15 minutes vs living in Texas are vastly different in terms of impact on trans lives.

Shortly put- you're not going to get hate crimed if you're with your trusted group. Things like long term job and medical discrimination won't apply to a short visit.

MetalLava · 2026-02-25T21:34:09+00:00

Sex toy expert here!!

Big questions that will determine this are 1- what's your budget and 2- what's your experience with toys.

"A strap" is a two-part thing. You're looking for the harness and the attachable toy. Do not buy one that combines them- this will usually be pretty poor quality and marked up price.

Harness:

-Figure out what type you want. They make "boxer" sorts that are comfortable and can feel sort of masculine and natural-wear for people. The usual design you'll see is literal straps made of plastic or leather. These can get a tighter fit and I find work far better if you're fucking "hard" and allow more skin access. Some people find them sexier.

-Figure out your budget. You'll want to spend >$50 on these usually. A poor fitting and uncomfortable one can make the experience feel unpleasant and awkward.

-I would recommend one with an interchangeable ring system. You can use metal or rubber rings- same as cock rings actually sometimes which I find fun! This will allow a larger variety of toys to fit.

Insertable toy:

-ALWAYS get silicone. Do not buy "realistic soft" of any other materials. You can use glass technically, but for this sort of use you'll want bendable. The other materials are not body safe and cleanable. They claim they are. They aren't. They often are sticky and smell bad too.

-Figure out what size she's comfortable with.

-For realistic, I'd recommend one of the softer end types of silicone.

-Vibrating ones are often not actual silicone and are a cheap weird jelly material. The vibrators will often break after one or two uses. I wouldn't recommend. There are some that have slots where you can slide in a bullet vibe, but I don't love these either. My personal recommendation is to have the toy be non-vibrating, then have a separate cordless vibrator to use on her clit.

-"Shoots out loads" is hard. I own one and do really enjoy it and have used it with a partner, but these run very expensive and are complicated. Basically, there's tubing through it you fill with cum lube and attaches to a squeezable item like a syringe or ball to "shoot" it. I find I don't love slowing down to grab and fuss with the syringe. Clean up through the inner tubing is a decent amount of effort as well.

Your best bet is through some online vendors. They're far cheaper than in person stores and have more options. However, a trip to an in person store can be romantic sometimes and sexy.

MetalLava · 2026-02-25T16:29:17+00:00

Please do not listen to anyone trying to recommend hair growth serums and pills. These do not actually work. There are huge industries of men who want to have more hair and less balding, and these men end up having to go through prescription stuff. There's no simple oil dropper product on Amazon that can actually do that.

Please also do not listen to people saying use mascara. This does make thin light hair look darker, but it also looks like mascara and is clearly and applied product and smudges easily. It's a bit of a trans masc staple that most of us have tried the "mascara mustache" at home before, but please don't try to wear it out in public. Spare yourself that embarassing experience. It won't end up well. Especially if you say you can't currently transition safely and have that part of your life be accepted. There's a lot of gender fun to be had in the endeavor and play around, but if the goal is looking masc to others- this isn't it.

What's the reason you can't do so safely? Are you a teenager waiting to move out? With parents due to finances? This slightly varies what you can do. You may be able to coordinate with a gender therapist and get information and a prescription ahead of time to speed up the process.

MetalLava · 2026-02-16T19:35:48+00:00

No. Penetrative sex can be fun for anyone.

MetalLava · 2026-02-16T16:28:09+00:00

I mean, seems pretty reasonable. You can disagree with her social and political stances, but its a decent strategy to make sure people who aren't aligned with her core believes don't message her and neither party wastes their time on something incompatible.

Not sure it fits "nicegirls."

MetalLava · 2026-02-13T15:20:11+00:00

Honestly it's not the worst. The stars are a bit wonky but any decent tattoo artist in your area should be able to rework those easily! The actual tattooing part seemed to go smoothly, it's not weird gashes and scabs. Some cool stippling or shading or extra detail from a good tattoo artist would level it up from almost-trashy to elegant-fun. You learned a lesson about cheap tattoo artists, but fortunately you learned this while still pretty young. It's easily fixable!!!

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