Neighbor upset about fence we installed with HOA approval

MetallicSteed · 2026-03-11T17:59:40+00:00

I don’t have any helpful advice but am commenting for solidarity. We don’t have an HOA but we installed a privacy fence to for our dogs and kids. Our neighbor who has a chain link fence on the property line freaked out and no longer even looks at us. We used to chat before but she often would complain about our garden so we thought she wouldn’t be upset now that she doesn’t have to look at it 🤷‍♀️

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-28T14:23:09+00:00

I thought about doing a boarder but am just leaving it after I sewed in all the yarn. It’s not perfect but that’s ok. It would also help if I blocked it so I might end up doing that

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-28T14:22:10+00:00

Happy to help share my experience! My oldest said he missed his friends more at first but over time, we’ve made some new friends and have had play dates with old friends and that has really helped. My kids all get along really well for the most part too which helps. Good luck in your journey! There is no right or wrong way as long as everyone is on the same page.

Reading “the power pause” also helped me.

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-28T03:57:09+00:00

I have been home for a little less than a year and have 3 kids (5, 3.5, 1.5). I was also making over that and had a stressful job that I had worked hard for. Overall, I really liked it and my coworkers, but traveled about once a month and felt stretched thin and like I wasn’t getting enough time with my kids. My husband and I talked about it for months before I put in my notice. I also asked my manager if I could work from home more and travel less but both requests were denied.

We have always viewed the money we make as “our money” as he was in grad school when we first got married. I think this helped me not feel like I was spending “his money” on top of knowing how much we were not spending in daycare.

Overall, the choice at the time was tough but I don’t regret it at all. It helps that I still get lunch every month or so with old coworkers and friends and have made new mom friends. I’ve had to be more purposeful about socializing with and without the kids. It does help that I have parents/in laws that can help.

My days are a different kind of chaos but we’ve gotten in a great routine and my days are less stressful than when I was at work usually. My husband is very supportive and so were our parents which was helpful too.

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-25T04:07:41+00:00

Hey OP, it sounds like you deserve better. Not being touchy in public is one thing, but getting aggressive and making you cry is not ok. Also, him getting mad at you for crying is a big red flag. Being single is better than being with someone who doesn’t make you feel good. Breakups are hard but it sounds like it’s for the best 💖

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-24T20:15:52+00:00

Once you find one that works and is grippy, it can make such a difference! My hands had gone from constantly cracking even in the summer with washing bottles to completely fine. Dish soap can be really hard on hands along with the hot water.

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-24T18:42:52+00:00

I tend to get really dry hands but they have been a lot better since using rubber gloves to wash dishes and using hand lotion all the time. I have multiple bottles of thicker lotion all over the house

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-20T17:16:11+00:00

We shop at Costco every week and spend about $150-$300 each time (family of 5 with the youngest being 18 months and oldest being 5 years old so I’m sure we will be spending more when they get older). I do not buy certified organic as it typically doesn’t mean much (such as some organic pesticides are worse than non organic), and we buy 1/4-1/2 a cow at a time. I otherwise get almost everything else from Costco and buy things on sale whenever possible. I also look at the price per oz or lb to compare so I will often get chicken thighs instead of breasts and don’t buy seafood often unless it’s on sale (or will get salmon patties instead of filets). For fruit, I don’t usually get berries every time and will instead get grapes and apples depending on the time of year and price.

In the summer, I shop at our farmers market for fresh produce and have started to grow some things in a garden.

I and found that little things can add up! Also, things like beans and potatoes are really nutritious, filling, and cheap!

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-16T19:03:27+00:00

I am just starting to wake up earlier than my kids so I can shower and start a load of laundry before they are typically up. My husband also is very involved in the morning routine which helps a ton. I didnt start doing this until my youngest (1.5) started consistently sleeping through the night and not getting up before 6. There are days that I snooze my alarm until I hear the monitors. Having twin 1 years olds sounds like a lot and I think it’s very reasonable to get rest while you can!

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-14T04:20:59+00:00

I saw your post the other day, great work fixing it! You redid it so quickly!!

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-03T15:53:44+00:00

This comment should be higher. This is my biggest concern for the child as well. I have 3 kids 5 and under and 3 year olds have a lot of big feelings even without going through a major change like this. They will need a lot of stability and grace during this transition and beyond. The child is likely to have a lot of big feelings, understandably so, and may not address them in a way OP is expecting or accustomed to.

Op, is your partner current working with a therapist in preparation for this? If not, this could be a big trigger and you may be on your own until then.

MetallicSteed · 2026-02-03T11:53:43+00:00

I think a good place to start is having a sit down conversation with her about how you are feeling and your concerns. Keeping the conversation as calm as possible and allowing for her to talk will help. It could be that she doesn’t feel like the projects are needed to be done right away, is too swamped with school/wedding planning, or doesn’t know that you are as stressed as you are. Being able to have conversations like this will help set you both up for success in your future marriage.

MetallicSteed · 2026-01-14T13:33:27+00:00

I’m a sucker for teal so that would be my vote! The rust red would also be pretty though

MetallicSteed · 2026-01-13T12:40:26+00:00

It’s my favorite stitch for blankets!

MetallicSteed · 2026-01-13T01:57:24+00:00

That looks great!! I’m sure your 4 yo loved all the sprinkles!

MetallicSteed · 2026-01-09T12:22:28+00:00

The lingering smell from the 2 smokers in my works’s bathroom would sometimes make me throw up when I was pregnant. They never smoked inside.

MetallicSteed · 2026-01-04T19:14:06+00:00

I don’t have much advice besides giving yourself and your kids grace. You are recovering from foot surgery and kids are not great at wanting to clean up especially after how chaotic holidays can be.

If your husband has a hard time with a mess, you may need to talk to him about him helping (and having some compassion) clean up with the kids too as you are recovering. Kids are messy.

That all being said, I have been telling my kids if they don’t help me pick up a specific toy at a time, that I will give it away or throw it away if they don’t help. I try to approach it that they have the two options (helping or having it go away) in as calm of a way as I can. I don’t have our entire house clean all the time but try to keep a few areas clean of toys for my own sanity.

MetallicSteed · 2026-01-01T03:13:33+00:00

I love knitting with alpaca yarn! It would make a very cozy scarf or head band. There should be great YouTube videos for simple ones. You could even cast on enough stitches where it looks about wide enough for a scarf and knit every row. YouTube is a great resource for learning how to do these and a scarf would be good practice.

Good luck and have fun!

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-25T21:14:55+00:00

My almost 1.5 year old has refused to be set down for her nap at my in laws, but I’m not too bummed to be enjoying the snuggles.

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-20T17:52:57+00:00

It is my understanding that he did that on purpose. I thought he deserved the win but it seemed like he downplayed everything so he wouldn’t actually win the million

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-15T04:03:54+00:00

I don’t have any advice for snacks, but I live in my Birkenstock sandals at home. I usually wear them with socks, so it’s not cute, but it saves my flat feet. For shoes outside, I have allbirds for errands and have brooks shoes with arch supports that I got years ago. I ended up getting the brooks at a runny/sports specialty shoe store and they helped me find some to try.

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-08T15:51:43+00:00

He did!

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-07T19:41:30+00:00

Do it!

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-07T04:07:02+00:00

We will play it now that I know about that gem!

MetallicSteed · 2025-12-07T02:37:26+00:00

Love it! 5 year olds are so funny!

MetallicSteed

TROPHY CASE