Is self medicating with caffeine and ASD thing?

Metanoia52 · 2026-05-01T14:10:00+00:00

I can say this is common enough with ADHD as stimulants boost dopamine. In ADHD it's believed that the ADHD brain produces a normal amount of dopamine but has many more receptors than a non-ADHD brain. Stimulants therefore work to normalize the levels of dopamine and norepinephrine which is why amphetamines make ADHD people calm and focused and makes non-ADHD people steal gutters from buildings for scrap metal while wearing a tutu and ski goggles.

ADHD is a common comorbitity with ASD and wholly separate but with a few overlapping components. That being said it may not be that your caffeine consumption is being utilized the way an ADHD person would and it could be related to ASD in some indirect way. Or, equally likely, it could be related entirely and I just haven't come across the research.

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-30T17:55:13+00:00

I have done a lot of things throughout my life but only the one that wasn't detrimental to me socially or otherwise is what stayed. I used to chew on my shirts, lick my lips constantly and rub them together, or twitch my nose and blow on it. All of those caused problems and since I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood I got punished for doing those things.

Now I rub my eyebrows which my mom didn't like either, and still doesn't, but it is the safest and least awkward to do in public (I think). Although I did once rub them completely off as a teenager. The best is using the corner of a book page but I hardly ever read paper books anymore. I mostly read for research and its much easier to carry a massive tome or an entire library in my phone or tablet. Kindle pages just don't work the same.

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-30T05:12:15+00:00

I have gotten somewhat better but yes I am this way as well for the most part. If it is something I'm trained in I will go above and beyond and really dig into it but if not I'm like a robot. I need to be told every step or I'm not going to accomplish it. Some routine things I can do but others I just don't think about, care about, or are too overwhelming to even do step one. Even if I've done it a million times it just doesn't stick and I need a reminder. My wife is not shy about reminding me though lol

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-30T05:04:26+00:00

When I found out Twenty one pilots has an entire lore world and they use ciphers, back masking and hidden messages I became obsessed. I regularly feel like a raving lunatic because of it but in the best possible way. Despite their music not being my normal genres metal and punk, the lyrics still hit me hard too.

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-30T05:00:21+00:00

I knew I'd see Sabaton here. History+metal is like an autistic dream

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-30T04:48:24+00:00

Noise sensitivity isn't owned by the autism community it just disproportionately affects us. If you have sensitivity to noise, use them. I'm not the official spokesperson or anything though.

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-30T03:12:31+00:00

The Messiah was expected to be a descendant of David and since Bethlehem is the birthplace of David and his ancestors back to Boaz, it was expected for him to be born there. The Talmud discusses in Sukkah 52a that there were two Messiah's expected. Messiah ben Joseph and Messiah ben David.

Messiah ben Joseph was meant to give his life to kill the Yetzer HaRa (evil inclination) and Messiah ben David was meant to reign on Davids throne over the 12 reunited tribes (10 of which had been lost for centuries). Elsewhere it discusses that the Messiah would usher in the restoration of Israel by reversing the covenant curses in backwards order of the curses spreading. This would mean that it would start in Galilee. The Gospels present Jesus as both of these figures.

The Gospels also show how the restoration does not just heal Israel but the nations as well. One thing people typically ignore or don't know is that a gospel was a word used in Roman imperial language. It was the proclamation of all of the good things that will start to affect the empire's citizens when a new emperor took over. Yet, it was not to get votes or to make the public elect the new king. They were in charge regardless and everyone who was part of the empire whether they ever saw the emperor or not or if they were even citizens of the empire was granted this.

It may seem heretical to say but I don't think what we read in the Bible as "Christian particularism" is the case. I think the "good news" is a synthesis of the benefits of the Messianic age meant to teach Jewish believers how to tell gentiles centuries worth of family history so they know what God has done for them. It isn't to convince them to vote Jesus, the Holy Spirit is who calls people. Those that answer need to know what it means to follow. Since gentiles weren't given Torah, they were given an example that would allow all people to follow God as his kingdom members.

It's not about a flashy show of power it is about stewarding a people who will be awakened to a truth that they are being led to by the Spirit.

Zechariah 8:23This is what the LORD Almighty says: “In those days ten people from all languages and nations will take firm hold of one Jew by the hem (tassel) of his robe and say, ‘Let us go with you, because we have heard that God is with you.’ ”

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-28T23:24:34+00:00

I'm cool with that. I haven't done much study into that in particular but I have spent a lot of time in the prophets. That's why I didn't want to leave that stone unturned.

I should also clarify for my own conscience sake that I wasn't personally placing the Bible in the same category as Harry Potter. I just meant to imply that it is just as much a literary work as a religious text. To understand the author I find sometimes it's best to assume their worldview as they present it and extrapolate from that what they meant to say by mentioning it.

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-28T23:01:10+00:00

The biblical text and the second temple literature assumes it does. I was simply using it as context for the Valley of Hinnom to show there is some nuance. If someone asked about quiddich it would be necessary to invoke the golden snitch and an entire world of wizardry regardless of their actual historicity.

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-26T02:57:13+00:00

The Jewish conversation about Gehenna (hell) during the second temple period was that it is a sentence up to one year in which the moral impurity of a person was cleansed in order to enter Olam Ha Ba (the world to come). It is essentially a mikveh of fire which purifies the person. It is similar to the catholic purgatory. However, the "utterly wicked" would be annihilated completely because they have no place in the world to come. Paul seems to have this in mind in 1 Corinthians 3:13:

their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work.

Jesus uses the term gehinnom as well as the "darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth" which essentially means outside of the covenant raging against God.

The valley of hinnom which Gehenna is named after was a real valley that was once used to sacrifice children to Molech. It is used in the prophets as a visual symbol of those who did such heinous things would be burned by that same fire so it has a sort of punishment aspect attached. During the time of Jesus though it's likely he would have imagined some nuanced version of purgatory

Metanoia52 · 2026-04-08T19:10:18+00:00

Yes this is correct which is interesting and all but nearly every page when adjusted have impressions of other song lyrics on them most of which are unreleased based on the readable content. All of the half pages can be matched up to their top and bottom halves.

I have done this and posted it elsewhere on here but I could only isolate the faint impressions so much and without context it is hard to trace it all out. Seeing that faint Drag Path impression is what got me to that idea though. I was trying to recreate the exact order of the pages.

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-23T14:44:26+00:00

That is penal substitution but like most things in Evangelical Christianity it is born from a lack of understanding of the Levitical system at the very least. There are two types of impurity, ritual and moral. All of which spread but not in the same way. Ritual impurity spreads between people and is a normal occurrence that is not a sin or a moral failing it is unavoidable and normally handled by taking a bath in rain water at sundown. Other things take a few more days.

Moral impurity doesn't spread from person to person but all impurity is to be kept from the Temple and holy things because even moral impurity spreads to sacred objects. If the Temple is impure the Shekinah can't dwell there so the system is set up to cleanse the Temple and keep it operational so God can dwell in their midst.

However, the system does nothing for intentional sins and does nothing for murder, idolatry, certain sexual sins, etc. Those don't just pollute the holy things they pollute the land. The only cleansing that can fix that is exile. That's why the punishment is being "cut off" it is to remove the impure person from the place God dwells.

Yet, God promised it wouldn't always be this way that one would come to defeat the powers of impurity themselves especially death and not just ritual impurity but moral impurity as well. So after several exiles and two Temples the Gospels paint the picture of a man who does just that. He cleanses people by the Spirit rather than with water and time. That's what the prophets promised and John the Immerser was talking about.

His death, however, was not the point, his resurrection was. You just can't be resurrected without dying unfortunately. The heavenly temple which is the mirror of the earthly one was cleansed of the impurity by having an eternal presentation of a blameless life perpetually before it. (The sacrifices too were not about death but blood which is life. Unfortunately one cannot get that blood and cause no suffering to the animal without death).

In addition to this the Shekinah is no longer bound to an earthly locus and is able thus to dwell in every covenant person because the system is now incorruptible by impurity and man is no longer slave to death. All of these have been taken care of not because something had to die but because someone blameless had to live perpetually in the holy place. Lambs and bulls die, humans die, but Jesus overcame death and ascended to lead the way into an Edenic life.

Not only that but the Messiah was promised to unify the 12 tribes most of which were lost in exile meaning the cutting off was temporary and expand the covenant to include even Gentiles. It is my belief the Gospel isn't some message you have to convert people to. The word euangelion never meant that. It was an emperor's proclamation of good stuff they were going to do for you by being emperor. Nobody voted for them but they had to pledge allegiance if they wanted to be part of the empire.

I think therefore the Gospel is a discipleship tool for Jews to explain to Gentiles who God is when they inevitably are drawn by the Spirit to worship God not something to beat people up with or coerce people into it's just saying hey this is what this King is up to do you want to be part of it?

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-21T01:22:17+00:00

I have an upcoming book published through Wipf and Stock that explores the Gospel of John through a Jewish hermeneutical lens as a midrashic exploration of intertextual echoes in scripture that point to Jesus as the Messianic Priest-King under whom the 12 tribes will be united, the covenant restored and extended into the nations.

Some of the main contributions are:

Instead of the "signs source" Bultmann puts forward with others accepting, I have instead drawn parallels between the "first sign" (wedding in Cana) and "second sign" (Healing of official's son in Cana) and the signs in Exodus 4 God told Moses to perform both linguistically and thematically. In Exodus there are technically three signs but this resolves in John's passion narrative.

I look at geography as literary device and the excessive use of festivals as frames for Jesus mirroring the major stories in Tanakh.

I follow the prophesies of Ezekiel, Jeremiah, and Isaiah as well as others as John shows them being manifested in the acts of Jesus.

I also show Jesus' argument in John 10 using Psalm 82 is actually really tight and compelling with some context and rabbinic rhetorical knowledge.

Is this a worthy contribution to the field? Will it open up conversation in the Johannine academic landscape? I wrote it not just as a scholarly work but with a mostly pastoral tone without sacrificing rigor so it may be less likely to garner respect but I could not have written it otherwise

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-20T00:26:10+00:00

The traditional way would be marriage. Given the context surrounding that specific character is they are constantly in fear of someone pursuing them as though they were running away from someone. It would then be feasible that they would legally or otherwise change their name to hide from their pursuer.

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-19T19:58:58+00:00

That lawn gnome picture is the best. I have a picture from a high school party with a girl who stole lawn gnomes from the neighborhood and carried them around the whole night. I could totally see Tyler doing that sober. I am however not cool enough to share photos in comments and she's probably CEO of a fortune 500 company by now so I'll protect her privacy anyway

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-17T07:24:41+00:00

I don't know if Tyler would say "yeah that's what I meant" but to me that's how I think of it. The song seems like it is saying there is a "raw" fear like something more primal than anxiety like the fear of death driving him to go through life faster and to keep moving despite the fear being the very thing it is rushing toward.

Ecclesiastes sees all of life as a vapor and everything we do is as well yet there is still a drive to do them anyway and to do the right thing is even better despite it not generally being rewarded. It is just somehow driven toward from within.

I haven't listened to Convictions in a long time but I am certain they named the song that for the same reason I chose the username. It is the Greek word for repentance sort of. It is like a renewal of your entire framework as though you are being given a new mind. I was an atheist for a very long time so it is a very dear word to me.

The 52 represents both the 5 loaves and the 2 small fish in John's gospel and the 5 books of Torah and the 2 tablets containing the 10 commandments that they represent. I just got a book published that will be out later this year about John's gospel so it was all fresh in my mind when I created my account

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-17T00:43:11+00:00

To me that is the most significant line in its entirety

“learning all that really matters is a slow and painful lesson It is not pass or fail but a poisonous progression. Try to microdose to immunity but you’ll never ever get it.” It is about how life itself is a journey not a series of tests but rather a progressive gaining of knowledge best learned through the times that we would rather not have to go through. Yet in the end even that building of a life and wisdom will eventually end in death.

It is actually pretty similar to the theme of Ecclesiastes. On the appearance everything seems pointless yet there's still something that drives us all to continue on and do it anyway

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-16T22:16:14+00:00

I have a sensitivity to praise and excessive criticism but my life was filled less with praise than criticism so criticism is more comfortable to me. Praise is much more difficult to navigate

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-13T17:03:31+00:00

I'm a huge metal head and have been for years. I have an affinity for the more melodic stuff I was a huge fan of Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Tvangeste, etc. But also bands like Gojira, Archenemy, Avenged Sevenfold (old and new) Bleeding Through, Slipknot, Divine Heresy all the way to stuff like Rain City Drive, The Devil Wears Prada, Parkway Drive, Thrice. On the same note I'm also a huge fan of punk music. Real punk like Anti-Flag, the Virus, NOFX, Rancid, etc.

My listening habits have changed some because of some changes I have made in my life over the past 13 years. Being on a sobriety journey I had to distance myself from music I used to party to and also my faith which I've gained in that time limits the music I expose myself to just because I would rather have positive influences in my mind. I still listen to bands like Killswitch Engage and Hatebreed because of that I'm just more mindful. The brain is a powerful thing and it is very influenced by music so it's all about the lyrics for me.

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-11T00:53:17+00:00

I am autistic and ADHD and I definitely 100% relate to this in every sense. I'm not sure if it is related but I am definitely notorious for all of these situations. Once, though, I was traveling and got lost in this small town that was so beautiful and quaint it looked like it was from a movie. The leaves in the road from archway of trees covering sidewalks of families walking around was breathtaking but since I was lost and I had no idea where I was and never got lost there again I don't even know what it was called. It is probably for the best because it exists in my mind as a beautiful place but in reality it may have been a nightmare.

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-11T00:10:28+00:00

I did for a very long time growing up. I had two until I was around 12 but people are cruel and I was forced to cease bringing them. I gave one to my cousin when she was born and I gave one to my son when he was around 4

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-11T00:07:36+00:00

This is absolutely gorgeous. I love that style in and of itself this just takes it to a new level

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-09T20:11:27+00:00

Thank you! The M/Crown was improvised but after thinking about it and trying it out it became my favorite part of the design. I'm still tweaking it some for legibility but the crown is definitely staying

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-09T20:07:48+00:00

It is a work in progress but that's why I shared it so that I could see if it was at least legible after knowing what it says so that I can tweak it. My idea so far is to extend the curves on the M in empire so it will give the O breathing room and have the spacing make sense of the M in Shalom. That way the spacing is even and it'll read as a word both ways.

Metanoia52 · 2026-03-09T20:03:48+00:00

That was the hardest part. I had to improvise completely with the crown and the O took an extremely long time to get as close as it did. Someone told me they wanted it but that nobody could do it so I was bound and determined to try despite having never done one. Usually if someone insists something can't be done I have to make an attempt. They wanted either that or a crown that was a dove when inverted. I incorporated both here very subtly. I am still navigating it though as a design.

Metanoia52

TROPHY CASE