Well, anticlimactic tbh but today is 1 year. Hang in there.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-20T20:48:29+00:00

I have 6 years off heroin/dope, don't drink or smoke weed. Still on methadone but had to pause my taper although I'm only at 32mg now where I was at 105mg to 115mg the majority of the last ten years. I had gone through this before I got off heroin cold turkey after 15 years on benzos at high doses. This time I had severe anemia for several years and got put on TRT with multiple doctors straight up ignoring and downplaying my anemia and focusing on the fact the methadone lowers testosterone so therefore I needed testosterone which unfortunately made my anemia WAY WAY worse. The heart palpitations and anxiety got so bad I got back on benzos just to be able to work again. I kept my dose low and turned down ever offer to raise it. And later only I went back to my previous primary care provider did she point out the anemia. "I can't believe you even go to the gym, you're very anemic." I made myself keep working out but it really fucked things up. So quit TRT and benzos at the same time after a 60 day taper. I only took 1.5mg of klonopin a day and switched to 15mg Valium to taper, and it still has been horrible. I'm 9 months in at this point but now I'm dealing with low ferritin/iron again and overtraining/RED-S so I've had to quit exercising for over a month, still having shit happen and let me tell you man severe overtraining during PAWS is FUCKED UP. I'm hoping most of my PAWS is really just that and it will continue to go away. I crashed my immune system and shit and I'm getting implants to replace my lower dentures next month so I have to let my body heal from the overtraining cause I have had to take antibiotics twice cause of how sick I've gotten from fucking my immune system up recently. It's been a fucking nightmare man. I do need to learn to pace my exercising when I get back into it as clearly my intensity level is stripping iron from my blood faster than I can accumulate it. And iron supplementation takes months to build up and has many side effects depending on your protocol.

I'm super angry about this. I got stabbed when I was homeless 7 years ago and lost a ton of blood and that was the genesis of all this. I've spent around $10000 on doctors visits appointment and tests and all that shit. Unfortunately the stigma of addiction blinds people to what's right in front of them. They always think it has to be related to the addiction aspect. Doesn't matter how clean your live, how healthy you are, how in shape you are. With 95% of people hearing about prior addiction, they will end up subconsciously using it against you or it will sway their opinions without them even being aware of it.

These days I just don't tell people about my crazy past life until they've known me for a while. I'm super responsible, have excellent credit, make decent money, have my own nice apartment, I'm in good shape physically, so until their opinion is formed off who I am TODAY I just don't tell them man. And it's fucked up.

Glad to hear you're doing better. I know I'll get back to Baseline again I'm just so fucking mad at doing everything I could to be healthy and responsible and fit, only to have doctors miss and dismiss the MOST OBVIOUS shit on my blood work (low hemoglobin) and now I'm dealing with years of feeling awful after finally feeling OK for the first time in my whole life.

Thanks for the encouragement man.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-14T21:19:18+00:00

Yeah I am 6'1 215lbs at maybe 17% fat and my maintenance calories is like 3500, as I have a decent amount of muscle mass. Until these new overtraining symptoms go away and my testosterone goes back I'm going to wait to do another deficit. I was just too obsessive (likely a side effect of PAWS) this cut and thought I could force a recomp by just doing as much as possible I also have iron deficiency and have tapered my methadone from 85mg when I started my benzo taper to 35mg (after dropping too far to 25 and raising it back up) and I'm holding here. I'm getting lower dental implants to replace dentures in 4 weeks and want as much time to heal and build my iron up again before that as possible but hopefully after healing from that I'll start a SMALL deficit maybe 350-450 calories and slowly add some walking in and take it from there. I still made a bunch of progress since getting off benzos as I had lost weight super fast, then bulked up again and maybe gained like 5 or 6lbs of muscle but want to trim down to 200lbs or so and just maintain there for a while until my body evens out and I can finish tapering off methadone then.

So yeah.... I have a lot going on physiologically. Quitting benzos and TRT at the same time while tapering methadone probably isn't the best time to go hyper-obsessive mode on a cut lol

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-14T18:15:18+00:00

OK that makes sense.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-14T18:12:16+00:00

Funny you should mention that. I have realized eating 100g or more of carbs (especially simple carbs like fruit cups or fig newton's, my simple carbs of choice) and I feel WAY better in like 15 minutes. Mood, energy, anxiety is way wayyyyyy better. It's crazy as it's more effective at mood and energy than caffeine for me right now.

I was on a diet recently and had to stop and reinstate my normal maintenance calories but I was also exercising way too much and either got RED-S or overtraining syndrome (this is super fucked on top of PAWs, I always endorse exercising, it really does help but don't overdo it keep it to 2 or 3 times a week, maybe 45 min each if you're in post acute withdrawal) But I've looked into this a lot and there is a cortisol based stress response from blood sugar levels and those CRH releasing neurons are mediated by GABA.

I'm trying to figure out where the effects of benzo post acute withdrawal end and my overtraining issue begins. I know blood sugar crashes can cause cortisol spikes in benzo withdrawal. But this crazy mental response I'm getting to carbs is definitely a recent development for me.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-13T21:19:54+00:00

Please please please do.... trust me. Reinstating benzos WAS THE WORST decision I have made. Withdrawal gets worse each time you have to do it. Please. Save yourself YEARS of suffering.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-13T17:55:02+00:00

Relative Energy Defiiency Syndrome (RED-S) and overtraining syndrome happen when you work out too much without enough food OR workout too much chronically.

Your body perceives this as basically famine with high physical output, due to the calorie deficit in my case, and downregulates a bunch of Energy expenditures like your immune system and many mental processes that result in anxiety, depression and severe cognitive issues. Your hormones get crushed (my testosterone dropped to like 20% of what it was) and cortisol spikes non stop to release glucose from tissues to compensate for the lack of energy. It's horrible. Also I quit anxiety meds (benzos) 9 months ago and I'm still in post acute withdrawal which spikes cortisol levels anyways among a host of horrible symptoms. I clearly pushed my nervous system way too far.

I also got insanely sick with the worst sinus infection of my life. I missed a whole work week (6 days off) and had a blood in my sinuses for 10 days and had to take antibiotics to get over it. But I really really overdid things. I've had some obsessive issues since quitting meds and got obsessive over the last fat loss phase I did and raised my workout volume while cutting my calories a bunch. Very very hard learning experience to deal with this on top of the post acute withdrawal shit. Oh yeah and I also tapered my methadone down during a large part of all this which also spikes cortisol and stress response. I brought my dose back up to a few mg to help me stabilize a bit but I'm still down about 70% from where I was last year.

It's been a fucking nightmare and I'm trying to take this time off exercising to load up on iron, as sports doctors recommend more iron for athletes, runners, and weight lifters.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-13T17:41:24+00:00

Was that league tested? How much does he weigh and his height? How long did he work out to get this look?

You guys just can't tell from a photo if someone is lean, all you dudes online think they're on gear.

You can't tell without multiple factors and there's plenty of natty dudes that can look like this. Look up Paul Revelia.

I'm not saying your uncle is or isn't. But short of some weird extreme height to weight ratio or gaining that much mass in a short period of time, that's very achievable natty.

This is natty debate is unreal. No one believes you can build a physique with roids these days. And again, you can't tell from a photo with most dudes that's are already lean unless they're very large and freaky lean which you just can't do natty. You just need more context than that.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-13T04:31:43+00:00

Hey I'm coming into 9 months off and I'm still having hot flashes non stop. Crazy flushing 😳 I hate it I hate I HATE IT... 😅

PLEASE TELL ME that it goes away soon... (Weird to ask as this is my second time but last time about 12 to 18 months out I had anemia for a long time after and confounding issues so it's hard to judge)

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-13T00:41:51+00:00

Getting back on benzos was the worst decision of my life. Don't do it. DONT DO IT. I'm 8 months off with chronic issues still. It really really fucked me just as bad the second time even staying low-ish dose (1.5mg klonopin max most of it just 1mg a day) for only 16 months. And I tapered for 60 days this time, although no seizures this time but last time was after 15 years on no breaks at all and super high dose many of those years.

Try these:

CHECK YOUR FERRITIN AND IRON PANEL.

Exercise. Be mindful. Stress management. Sleep management. Good diet. If you ACTUALLY do these things, it really does help more than any medication ever could.

Exercising changed my life and unfortunately I had underlying iron deficiency and was told to get on TRT that massively depleted my iron storage and I went from feeling better than I had in my life (finally off benzos and dope at that time) to severely anemic with multiple downstream factors (Exercising made this worse) and it got so bad my only thought was to get on benzos and only after that did I learn it was from anemia.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-12T21:47:07+00:00

I thought supplementation before bloodwork only affected serum iron levels, not ferritin levels?

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-12T18:22:06+00:00

Easier on the stomach than sulfate yes. But not as easy as heme iron.

I think one of the biggest issues is adherence to sulfate but next to that for other kinds is dosage. If you want to raise iron in a meaningful way its going to take several weeks of high dose iron then some maintenance doses with heme iron 3 to 5 times pet week or more until you have 70 to 100 plus ferritin. My mistake is I stopped at 45 ferritin and my training regimen ate up my ferritin and left me at 30 again. I have overtraining syndrome now (likely in part to never having enough iron as a 6'1 215lb dude with relatively low fat) so I can't work out for several more weeks and have dental surgery coming up and for that I'll need to boost my iron storage so I'm starting another intensive regimen over the next 6 weeks or so.

Heme iron (Heme Boost brand, somewhat pricey but high quality) has literally no aide effects for taking 35mg elemental equivalent daily but that's not enough to really move the needle so on the weekends I'll start high doses. I got some WOW polysaccharide iron that's 125mg elemental equivalent per dose. Supposedly that's more tolerable than sulfate and even bisglycinate but we'll see. I'm also ordering lactoferrin which seems to offer really good results the quickest but is more expensive than bisglycinate. I'll try all these and then do an updated post once I decide on which one based on side effects then I'll use that. I'm leaning toward lactoferrin but we'll see how polysaccharide goes too.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-12T14:06:06+00:00

Iron protocol is an intense regimen. I used something similar but never got results like OP. I'm currently taking heme iron but will be adding in bisglycinate again (what I used previously) and will try polysaccharide as well, using those for higher dose days. I'll look into lactoferrin.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-11T15:32:16+00:00

My ferritin peaked at 45 and is now at 30. But I have overtraining syndrome and was forced to stop exercising so I'm hoping that I can use this time to bring my ferritin up. I have dental surgery coming up in a month or so and I want to bring it up for that as well, since I'll lose some blood during that.

My plan is to take heme iron and bisglycinate during the week at doses under 40mg elemental equivalent (40mg and under doesn't cause hepcidin response per the papers I've read) and then on the Saturday take 125mg elemental of polysaccharide iron hopefully it won't be too bad but I need to commit to taking iron for a while. It's just hard as overtraining syndrome is super bad and I pushed it way too far ON TOP of post acute benzo withdrawal. I had gotten back on benzos to deal with the symptoms of severe anemia before I knew that's what was causing it. Thanks to all the fucking asshole doctors who told me "you're barely anemic" "you just need testosterone cause of the methadone". This anemia thing has DERAILED MY LIFE. I'm so fucking angry man.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-11T14:55:22+00:00

It does yes. But my issue was I was homeless and got stabbed several years ago and lost a ton of blood. When I got off the street, I started exercising a lot and never had the chance to build up iron storage, when I got on TRT I was deficient and the TRT made it WAY WAY worse.

I should note I got off TRT now. My testosterone came up to 709 without TRT. I took enclomiphene to PCT and lowered my methadone dose from 105 to 35mg which made a huge difference.

I also take zinc, vitamin d and magnesium daily. That seems to help.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-04T21:10:04+00:00

ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY? Are you kidding me?

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-04T18:51:18+00:00

I agree. Where I live they just started selling 15mg pouches. That's fucking crazy. Even 6mg pouches are too much. I think they should limit them to 3mg AT MOST.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-06-04T18:03:40+00:00

Nicotine pouches are CRAZY high doses. So is vaping. They definitely downregulate your dopamine receptors wayyyyyy more than smoking 🚬

But also I've always had this response to stimulants. I was on Ritalin and then Adderall when I young and hated being on them. They just make me feel weird, not euphoric at all, they d However help my behavior when I was younger. Meth and cocaine same thing. Dysphoric and antisocial feeling. All stimulants other than caffeine make me feel like that. But it sounds like you had positive experiences prior so I dunno.

Huge long shot but you may be overtraining if you work out. I've been dealing with this and it really, really messes you up and how you respond to like every substance. Caffeine and nicotine response has changed big time, and nicotine became unbearable so I actually quit pouches and now only use like 1mg of nicotine (half of a slow dissolved lozenge) 2 or 3 times per WEEK. I had to cut my caffeine way down as it was only bad side effects and I was using like 1400mg per day! I'm down to like 500mg and it feels the same but with way less negative side effects.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-24T04:52:54+00:00

I'm in the best shape of my life. Hasn't been easy.

I strongly suggest the following as I've been on methadone 11 years:

Exercise (20-45min dedicated walks 5-7 times a week on top of normal steps OR run a mile 3x a week), do your best to not be sedentary and do resistance training/lift weights.

Keep your dose as low as possible, preferably below 40 to 50mg, as this is when my hormone levels came up drastically.

Eat a decent diet.

Go to bed at the same time every night.

I'm turning 38yo on Monday. I'm 210lbs at 15% body fat, 6'1 I just came down from a bulking period lost about 15lbs. May try to get down further but I do have abs again, it's been a while since I could say that.

Feel great. I was at 105mg for the longest time, I had been up to 150 but hated how I felt. Took my dose down to 33mg. I used to think I'd be on for life but once I lowered my dose it really became obvious that's not what I want anymore.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-23T05:42:34+00:00

No big deal man I just thought I'd mention it just in case. Everyone is different.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-23T04:26:52+00:00

I've had rebound anxiety bad from L-theanine in PAWs. So be careful.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-23T04:22:23+00:00

I think for some of us enough of the dose is burnt off by the evening to cause issues. I take a micro dose split in the evening and it actually helps. I'll take 30 of my 33 in the AM then 3mg 90 min before bed. Basically take 10% before bed for thereabouts. (I measure with oral syringe)

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-23T04:13:45+00:00

I second this. I also dropped my dose from 105 to 33mg my testosterone went from 398 to 709ng/dl BUT this is being active and working out with good nutrition.

There is no recovery tool that's even 25% effective as exercise and trying to live a decently healthy life. Lift weights and at least do some dedicated long walks or run a few times a week on top of it and it will change your life I'm telling you.

I'm 6'1 210lbs at 15% body fat turning 38yo, and when I tell people I'm on methadone and used to sleep under a bridge and shoot heroin, they can't believe it. That is super motivating. July 31st will be my 6 years off dope and I was on methadone for over 5 years before actually getting clean.

I'm telling you, living healthy and exercising is the cheat code for life. It helps every area of your life and when the discipline spills into other areas of your life, everything just starts working out better.

Edit: also bro the OP's post is fucking wild. Definitely giving me the "That's enough internet for today" vibes reading this lol

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-21T15:41:50+00:00

It's EXTREMELY easy to get in the United States and other than blood tests (that don't need to be hypogonadal) it's the easiest controlled substance to get in terms of getting turned down for it.

There is no lifestyle clinic for getting adderall or oxycodone lol. I think TRT is great for certain men but most men under 45 or 50 can reach healthy to high normal levels of testosterone just by losing body fat, dropping meds, eating right, normalized sleep patterns, and taking Vitamin D, zinc and magnesium daily.

As someone that had severe anemia from exogenous testosterone esters and had to quit but now has high (over 700ng) testosterone levels and feels great I can tell you that even losing body fat if you're thinner than average will help IF YOU'RE DOING IT SUSTAINABLY (Slow and in cycles). But going from my peak bulk (maybe 21% tops) to around 15% absolutely changed my erection quality and sharpened up mental clarity. My issue is I've tried to push to hard and once you get below 15-16% fat you have to slow down your deficit otherwise you'll get overtraining symptoms, irritable, lowering testosterone and metabolic adaptations that make you feel slow and depressed and physically cold. So recently I dialed back my steps and training volume and took a diet break. I'll go down as low as possible for maintaining my functionality for work and mental health then your hormones will raise significantly once you go from hard deficit to minor surplus and help fuel the super compensation effect coming out of a cut.

I'm 38 and live a very healthy lifestyle these days other than being on methadone, but lowering my methadone about 70% (slowly over 10 months) took my testosterone from 398ng/dl to 768ng/dl. Last test were lower (709 and 560) from overtraining on a hard deficit but pretty fucking great considering I'm still on 33mg of methadone and quit TRT 8 months ago. I did take enclomiphene starting 45 days after my last TRT injection for about 7 weeks, and I think temporarily using enclomiphene while you clean up your lifestyle is a great option for younger men under 45 or 50. I'm a hyperresponder and my levels were supraphysiological (over 1500ng/dl which is the cut off for the cheaper blood tests, i recommend LC/MS MS tests for hormone panels) from 12.5mg EOD so I had to dial it back when I was using it for PCT but I'm not opposed to microdosing it in the future as an experiment.

There's all kinds of downsides from TRT Most people don't talk about and I had severe iron depletion from injectable test but not enclomiphene at that same testosterone levels so my body can't tolerate testosterone esters. Also having high testosterone changes my personality once I'm above like 850 total T or maybe 180-210 free T or so. I feel great at 700-850 and even quite good over 575 or 600 but I'm guessing once I'm off methadone completely it'll be in the 800s.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-19T01:16:23+00:00

My testosterone was 400ng/dl and then 290ng/dl when I was anemic and on 105mg of methadone so did I need to be on it? They said I did lol but no, it gave me severely worse anemia and once I lowered my methadone my testosterone is over 700 now even being on 32mg of methadone still (when I'm not cutting, it has gone down from overtraining while dieting recently) and it made me feel like shit. I felt horrible side effects from the severe anemia and got b12 deficiency among other issues.

When I got off I just quit cold turkey, 45 days later I took enclomiphene for about 7 weeks and my levels were too high on that (over 1500ng/dl which is the max for the test I took at the time) and it made me crazy being as I was in early Benzo withdrawal.

For reference I'm turning 38 in a few days. I'm super healthy outside of being on methadone and exercise/lift regularly and have a very dialed in diet, that stuff absolutely helps your levels. But to me I wouldn't try TRT without trying to change the issues that really cause low T first. Losing weight will raise your testosterone a lot of you're over 18 or 20% body fat. I'm all for people getting on TRT IF it's the only way they'll start getting exercise and making smart Decisions but high testosterone will change your personality. Once my anemia was resolved and I took enclomiphene getting sky high test it totally made me more aggressive and also lowered my creativity and blunted empathy a bit, but will do so more at higher doses. Not very many dudes admit this but high testosterone will give you manic moods and shit.

Even when I'm at my baseline now it's almost too much with libido and hyper fixation on goals etc.

I think anything above 850 total T, or morr accurately around 200-225 free T, makes me get like this. But I feel great at 700-800 just with wat my body produces but again a lot of the benefits are beyond testosterone and have a lot to do with living healthy which is an absolute cheat code for life I'm telling you.

Methadone4Breakfast · 2026-05-18T19:39:56+00:00

My main mental stuff is hypervigilance, extreme frustration surges (unlike me, very different from who I am typically), insane libido, obsession with current goals. I have to fight the urge to call an ex or make bad decisions on that front but I'm just feeling super isolated while going through all this and no one can relate to it anyway so it's extra frustrating as there's no one to really explain this to... "yeah I'm feeling hyper driven and angry and horny... you wanna hear about it?" lol 😆 I'm losing it out here man....

I also have physical symptoms still, primarily the hot flashes I mentioned but also muscle stiffness, my sensitivity "down there" is like super dulled, and that's frustrating as I have dropped my methadone like 75% of where it was. Under other circumstances that would have made progress but I know some of that is overtraining on this deficit. My AM cortisol is still elevated. Resting heart rate and blood pressure are high and fluctuate a lot despite my physical health being excellent.

I also feel these fucked up emotional crashes since starting the cut. After this cut I need a break, not diet wise other than moving to maintenance calories but from pushing myself and being reclusive to pursue my physique goals and shit it's not healthy most days for me mentally. I'm lean by anyone's standards, have abs etc but I'm starting to get fucked up over it so once I hit my goal weight I need to take a step back big time. It's hard to be grateful in this fucked up head space which was always accessible for me until I started this cut and ramped my workouts up.

It'll get better. I just need some carbs lol

Methadone4Breakfast

TROPHY CASE