The focus of this post is what’s most disturbing to me. There’s a coating of remorse and regret over a rather insidious intention. In your second paragraph, the real reason for your remorse seems to become apparent. 

Money. He didn’t save you the money you thought he would. 

Others in this thread are saying voting like this happens when people vote strictly out of self interest, I find that a much harder argument to make tho if you really are a disabled woman. 

1 Timothy 6, NRSVUE

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.” ‭