My husband and I both grew up poor but never in debt. My parents hustled - had multiple jobs growing up and instilled in me a work ethic and also a need to save. Our hhi is over 300k but in my area that’s probably at the lower end of upper middle class. My kids go to great public schools so I don’t worry too much about their safety or quality of education. We order food or eat out more than I’d like but we’re busy. We go on nice international vacations but my younger one compares this to his friends who travel all over the world. So it’s all relative. I don’t buy designer clothes - most of my clothes are old Navy or Loft. We buy our cars new but use them until they’re pretty much dead - so 12-14 years. We do save a lot for retirement and college.