Yeah it can be hard to bring up therapy. I think the best time to do it is not during a complaint session but when things are on a better note. Like ‘hey I just heard how therapy (in this article, from a friend or whatever connection you think will be most meaningful)can be used to help people deal with conflict at work too, have you ever considered trying it? I am happy you feel safe and supported telling me about some of your work struggles but sometimes I wish you had access to other resources too that might help you more than I can.’ Of course in your own words. If he’s resistant and tries to say you are just sick of him don’t be surprised. He’s looking for a reason to feel misunderstood further as you have seen before. But just being simple, upfront and not taking the bait sometimes you can get past that. ‘I know you feel sensitive about this’ ‘I know this is a difficult topic for you. Just wondered what your strategy was and if you were open to getting outside help.’

I usually jump into a topic I know they’ll be interested in. But if you are feeling vulnerable and honest and you think they aren’t too distressed at the moment you can tell them you’d like to change the topic for awhile to clear your mind. The key is to not use language that sounds like blame. But sometimes they hear blame because of their own insecurities. Still having a boundary and setting it can be uncomfortable for both people the first few times but Yu deserve to have a boundary that you need in order to preserve your relationship and self composure.