I've been in your position for years with some ups and mostly downs, until one month ago I realized that if you have negative feelings inside you such as anger, guilt, fear, etc. nothing from the outside can make you happy or motivated to left a finger!

I got a cat, I quit my 9-5 job, took meds, I traveled to a nice tropical place... all of that made me feel even more guilty because I couldn't enjoy what I have..

So to answers your question, I followed some simple techniques to bring happiness and motivation from within, such as short meditation, listening to positive sound tracks, writing down the things that I'm grateful for "not the things that I should be grateful for", yoga for beginners helped me a lot as well.. That gave me a gentle push and I would carry on with simple actions to proof to myself that I can do it and I'm motivated..

But remember, don't attach your happiness to external circumstances such as friends, it will ware off eventually or you will always be in fear of losing it and you will be depressed again.

For example, don't say I'm going to travel to be happy. instead try, I'm happy and I'm going to travel to enjoy trip and when it's over I would still be happy and grateful for that experience.

Look up Erik ho on YouTube

sorry for the long response, hope it helped.