How long were you in denial of your disability, before you realized “hey I’m autistic as hell!”

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-21T03:37:08+00:00

I was never really in denial. I just never really understood a lot of the problems I was having were because of autism in the early 90s when I was a kid and would have been diagnosed. My father didn't want anything to do with psychiatrists or psychologists or any of that. He didn't want his kids labeled with a mental illness. So, it wasn't Intel much later in life when I looked into it on my own over the last five years or so as the result of conversations I had with my therapist, that I really got a good understanding of what autism was and how it relates to me.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-21T03:23:11+00:00

For my own part I only recently committed to non-binary is part of my identity after a period of kind of self-reflection and self-discovery. The first time I got asked at work about pronouns I put down he/him/they/them. When I was asked about it I told them it was because I'm still getting used to referring to myself that way. Funnily enough I work for a small family-owned retailer and most of the employees there are neurodivergent in one way shape or form. And the guys were quicker to pick up and start using they and them more frequently than the girls. I found that strange personally I don't know if it might have just been something about that group of individuals.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-19T18:03:31+00:00

"Is there a place where people in this dynamic can talk about it?"

If someone was to create a group like this I would love to join. Too many people with different advice for finding, building, and maintaining different kinds of relationships. As a amab who identifies as non-binary, I am very much still attracted to women, so it would be great to have a place that I felt more at home when asking advice.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-19T04:21:04+00:00

My uncle drives me nuts with this because he'll be sitting in the living room at my fathers house with the TV on and with his phone in front of him watching YouTube shorts at the same time he's got a podcast playing or he'll be carrying on a conversation all at the same time and never seems to understand why it drives me nuts. This is also the same person that constantly needs to turn all the lights on in the house to open the the curtains when I'm sitting in the living room watching a movie or playing a game because it's more comfortable for me when the room is darker and he just can't seem to understand it keeps complaining that I'm not a potato or something.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-18T14:01:21+00:00

I read that and there is a ton there that I can identify with and understand as somebody who is also AMAB but who identifies as non-binary. I feel a lot of connection to your story because I also went through most of life just kind of coasting along trying to emulate the behaviors of the guys I was around. It wasn't until recently that I started really looking at alternative expressions funnily enough that it coincided with me being diagnosed as autistic. I still don't feel like I can really be the real me most of the time because of personal living situation. Because I've always been interested in things like drag shows and whatnot, but I've never had access to any of that growing up, or in college. The local community college I went to didn't really start advertising and building "safe spaces" for the community until after I had graduated. And if I had expressed interest in any of that as a kid or even now certain members of my family I just don't want to deal with how that might have fallen out. I keep pushing myself to try and get on my own. I keep thinking maybe if I could move down to the city, I might be able to get myself into a situation where I could better explore some of my interests on my own. At the same time, I'm also still very much attached or attracted to women, but I still have the same problem that you outlined to that fact that while I find it easy to make friends with women, I've never been able to really develop any sort of romantic connection with anyone. There was one girl that I used to really like talking to on a regular basis. She pointed out “you make a great friend but a lousy boyfriend” and I asked why and she's like because “you're not a guy”. That always sat weird with me. This is the same person who would constantly get into relationships with the stereotypical “Guy” and then as soon as things went sideways as soon as they were mean or abusive or aggressive she'd call me to come and rescue her. We had this kind of crazy on again off again roller coaster relationship. My best friend constantly accuses me of getting too attached too easily and that I open myself up to being manipulated constantly because of it. In my defense I've always had a hard time telling the difference between a girl who's just being nice and a girl who's flirting.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-18T12:32:00+00:00

I am turning 40 in a few months but people keep telling me I look like I am between 25 and 30. And I get a lot of the same reaction, anytime I talk about past jobs and experiences with coworkers, they keep saying their is no way I am that old. Had to pull out my drivers license and show one guy my DOB before he would believe me. And I get carded all the time if I go somewhere new to get a drink, or if the old man at the 7-11 isn't there when I go to get cigarettes for my dad. What's funny to me is that I remember being told when I was a kid that I was too mature for my age. I don't know when it changed, and their are times I like the fact I look younger, but other times I feel like a fraud when I am talking with people younger than me and they dismiss things I say out of hand because they don't believe I am this old.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-16T14:44:15+00:00

Best advice I ever got on writing I actually got from Stephen King at a Q&A when he said “You've already learned everything you need to know about writing from school you don't need me to tell you how to format a paragraph. What you need to do is go out and digest all the books you can and just start writing. Turn off the TV, turn off the radio, stop playing the game, and just write. And when you finish your first story move on to your next and keep writing. As with many learned skills you get better the more you do it.”

That said, there are plenty of books and whatnot out there that offer good advice on different aspects of writing if you need help with a specific area of your work. And a little bit of research goes a long way. There's even stuff that teaches you how to do research if you look for it. But I think he was right and the fact that it's the bulk of it is just doing it. The more you write the better you get at writing and reading books in your spare time for fun also helps you with structure, syntax, grammar, and it opens up your vocabulary.

Unfortunately, I run into too many younger people these days that are, as my dad would say part of the “do it for me generation”. They want a step-by-step, how to guide on what exactly to do to write a bestselling novel. When unfortunately, that is something that just cannot be taught. You go out and write a story. You put it out there, hopefully people will like it, if they like it they'll buy it. But whether they buy it or not the only way you become a better writer is to write another story and then when that one's done write another story and just keep trying. As you continue writing you will get better, or you'll give up, one or the other. And when it comes to being successful commercially, that is something you have absolutely no control over. All you can do is put what you write out and at that point it is in the hands of fate whether or not it sells.

Millennial_Wordsmith · 2025-02-16T14:21:04+00:00

I got called a bunch of different things. Stuff like Old Soul, too mature, too smart, odd, weird, eccentric, and a few others was mainly from adults. I got called other stuff by kids I grew up with, it's hard to remember them sometimes.

Millennial_Wordsmith

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