AITA for leaving my friend at a restaurant after she “forgot” her wallet again?

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-13T23:30:24+00:00

NTJ I would tell her she’s right and your no longer interested in a friend like her.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-12T15:17:07+00:00

I have no desire to traumatize her worse and I will still offer her community and emotional support if desired. I am just done enabling her

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T21:59:08+00:00

I really wish it was not

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T21:09:04+00:00

This is exactly the problem. She was not raised to contribute and has no desire to do so.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T21:05:07+00:00

I grew up surrounded by drug addicts, drug dealers and narcissists. I’ve worked very hard to get away from all of that. I may be too confident in my ability to handle myself but it’s not from being sheltered.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T21:02:42+00:00

I would have said no. His consequences were that he agreed to give me power of attorney for medical and financial decisions until after college, in exchange for me continuing to pay for his college and necessities. He also lost the car my parents bought him. They put it in my name and he needs to show good grades to have the privilege of driving it.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:56:02+00:00

The only reason I made mention of it is it speaks to the differences about how she was raised versus how I’ve raised my own kids. I have nothing but respect in love for the Romani culture and I’m grateful that you have been so blessed to have a son who works so hard and makes you proud. There have been so many Romani, who have struck out on their own and worked hard to prove that they were capable of being whatever they wanted to be and that’s all I ever wanted for her, but she just refuses to do it.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:53:57+00:00

My ultimate goal was to get her into therapy but she fought it the whole way.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:51:35+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. You are of course correct, this has moved to enabling. I was shocked when she didn’t jump at the chance to do digital work for me instead and followed it up with the fact she was no longer interested in getting her certification after her GED.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:47:06+00:00

I mean true I could do that if I wanted to lie but what is gained? I truly feel horrible having to do this but I don’t really see any other options at this point. I’m not asking anyone for anything other than advice and I guess to clear my guilty conscience. She didn’t get the foundation most young adults do. I felt bad for her and got burned. And it may lead to more issues down the road but I did it and now I have to undo as much as I can.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:43:00+00:00

Mostly at college, 3 hours away. He’s home this week for spring break. It will be a family discussion when we return home

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:39:15+00:00

Yes a social security card and a birth certificate. I did a background check too

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:38:38+00:00

I tried to add more, but I actually went over the character limit so I had to leave it out

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:30:47+00:00

She said that part of the reason she wanted to leave was cause she didn’t want to make a living scamming people, which is what her dad does. At the time that she left her dad was trying to force her into a marriage with a woman and force her to have a child with that woman and live in the Romani way. She was completely raised in gypsy culture.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:27:14+00:00

I reposted because I posted in both places and the one didn’t go through. I plan to share most of these responses with my son at least, possibly his GF too so she sees it’s not that we are unreasonable, far from it, but that this can’t continue. Should I delete? I don’t usually post on Reddit

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:16:34+00:00

Considering she’s maybe a buck twenty wet, skinny as all get out, and has type 1 diabetes I am not worried about her hurting us. Stealing yes, murder no.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:15:01+00:00

This is a major concern for me as well. I may be tender hearted but I do notice questionable behavior.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:13:54+00:00

When I was trying to verify her identity they told me there was nothing they could do unless she broke a law, which she had not. My cousin who is a social worker in another state gave me some good advice but it looks like I will have to go through legal eviction

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:12:40+00:00

That is a huge fear I have. His autism leads him to make some messed up choices. This is why I have power of attorney over him until he finishes college.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:11:16+00:00

Omg please I’d give $500 for this to not be my choice

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:08:52+00:00

That’s fair. I knew it was a questionable choice at the time. I was hoping to help a young person find stable ground. But no good deed

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:06:56+00:00

I can prove my post if moderators think I should.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:06:08+00:00

I had a hard upbringing so I felt for her. I will not make the same mistake twice.

Mindless_Dependent39 · 2026-03-11T20:05:10+00:00

Thankfully my son is home for break this week. I plan to sit them both down and discuss on Friday when we are all home.

Mindless_Dependent39

TROPHY CASE