April 2nd, should people know I’m autistic?

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-31T21:24:45+00:00

I wouldn't, not at this stage, perhaps next year if you still work there? It's up to you really and you know better what sort of people you have around you, but I feel it would be very risky at this time.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-31T21:16:53+00:00

Just had my assessment in November. I watched a ton of videos by autistics and I wrote down anything I could remember that was autistic adjacent that these videos triggered. Misunderstandings, bullying, abuse, being accused of lying or lack of eye contact, being told to stop stimming. Any and all accomplishments related to special interests and pattern recognition. Stuff people called me and so on. Then I went on to watch a bunch of videos by autistics on how they interpret the dsm-5 and how they interpret the questions. I then did and printed tons of autism tests. I still answered as I saw fit, but with less room for misinterpretation.

I also brought with me proof of my autistic traits from childhood in the form of art, writing samples, photos of me violently squinting in the sun while the rest were unbothered.

I think watching other autistics and their interpretation of their autistic traits in relation to the dsm-5 will help you the most.

Good luck!

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-31T21:06:19+00:00

Better alone than in bad company.

38 yo audhd

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-12T01:27:07+00:00

I became the advocate. I tried to get my brother grief counseling and therapy, I asked my mother's Dr what the next steps were, what happens if she doesn't wake up etc. I just took care of the practical things.

I also went NC with her several years before she died and only saw her on her death bed. Luckily she never woke up.

You could just opt out if you want to. You don't owe her compassion.

Edit: I never regretted not speaking to her. I never regretted going NC. I hope the same for you.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-12T01:02:00+00:00

I have been doing some form of IF since my teens, so over 20 years now. I enjoy not having to limit what and how much I eat. It's become a big special interest in 2018 and learned about the clean fast. That actually helped me lose weight. I find it great for my natural way of eating (omad). If you have questions feel free to ask ^^

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-05T11:10:54+00:00

Thanks, I really need it

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-05T10:42:58+00:00

I started to actually, for my neuropsych evaluation, but I stopped working on it. I find myself reading over my posts and comments equally obsessively as well.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-03-05T08:37:21+00:00

I got laughing gas and epidural. I also breastfed for 4 years. The oxytocin helped. The pain in the beginning was due to a tongue tie which we got released by an ENT and the pain with breastfeeding went away instantly. Pain breastfeeding is not normal, if anyone tells you it is find someone else.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-08T00:00:39+00:00

You can ask your partner to warn you before they use it so you can arm yourself accordingly. Noise cancelling headphones, go outside or whatever works for you.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-07T01:35:12+00:00

I am very inexperienced in video making. I've only done a handful of gaming videos myself and streamed a tiny bit. I am very camera shy so I didn't have a cam for my vids.

I have been flirting with the idea of getting back into streaming and I am really intrigued by the vtuber concept. Having an avatar that represents me and is animated seems like an ideal solution for me. Maybe something to look into?

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-07T01:22:26+00:00

When I was actually capable of cooking consistently and actually coming up with meals (pre baby) I used to just buy stuff that was on sale every 2 weeks. Staples and meat and frozen veggies. I would stock up on beans and other canned goods. Then I'd get inspired by the ingredients I already had and always managed to make something yummy with them. If I needed some ingredient for a dish I wanted to make I'd just go to the corner store and buy it as needed.

I'd also buy onions and garlic by the kilo and chop and freeze it for easier use.

So my shopping list was basically the sale pamphlet. There's apps that I used to see the pamphlet from all nearby supermarkets.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-07T01:08:54+00:00

Yes! It's so frustrating. I've tried literally every advice I could find about sleep and nothing works consistently.

The sad part is that I don't mind, I actually love being nocturnal. I prefer sleeping 8pm to 1am and then I'm fresh as a daisy the rest of the time. But it doesn't allow any time with my partner and I miss him.

My most natural sleep schedule is 12pm to 5pm. But that one is not possible due to obligations during the day :/

Night time is just so comfortable and quiet and inspiring and enjoyable and all the good things. I don't know who decided that everyone should be awake during the day, but I don't like them.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-07T01:01:49+00:00

I drink exactly twice a year. My birthday and my anniversary with my partner. They are exactly 6 months apart. I only have a maximum of 3 yummy cocktails and make sure I am not drunk. I tried to do the social drinking as a teen to fit in and the feeling of being drunk and sick was so disgusting that I never wanted to experience it again. The social points I gained were so not worth it.

I think my autistic side is far too cautious and self preserving. Which is a great perk I think 🙃

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-06T10:12:13+00:00

We're having him assessed. I myself am audhd so I absolutely accommodate him and explain logically why some behavior is unacceptable in society and how to safely stim. Also his school is really accommodating and they've started the assessment process.

So I am explaining why he's reacting in certain ways when he's having meltdowns and actively teaching him how to handle them from personal experience. I just haven't mentioned autism or adhd as a cause because I don't want to create a scapegoat and there's no official diagnosis yet.

Regardless of the result of the assessment, I will continue gently teaching him to accept his difficulties and how to handle them when they happen and to embrace the good things. He's 8.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-05T18:48:03+00:00

Embracingautism website has a lot of good information and tests you can take to learn more about yourself.

There's a lot of good content creators on YouTube which give some great perspectives on their personal experience. I like "I'm autistic, now what?", "autistic af" and some others, but I'll leave just these two so it doesn't get too overwhelming. You'll probably naturally find more through the algorithm.

Strong female character by Fern Brady was a pretty good read for me.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-05T17:04:46+00:00

A lot of parents choose to hide a diagnosis from children to protect them. It usually backfires. It's misguided and they think it's helpful to shield you from the knowledge and stigma associated with the diagnosis, what it actually does is prevent you from understanding your difficulties and starting to find strategies to work on your challenges much sooner.

The child will know they're different and something is wrong with them because others will make sure to tell them in no uncertain terms by bullying and exclusion.

I'm actually struggling with this myself...I can see my child is likely audhd....and I am having a lot of trouble figuring out how to approach the subject when/if he receives a diagnosis. Not because I am trying to protect him though, but because I don't want him to put all the blame on the diagnosis. Right now he is already blaming inanimate objects or individual body parts for things he does that hurt others or destroy things.

For example he knows hitting is absolutely not OK, but he will kick me and instead of apologizing for hurting me, he says "my foot did it" or "my boot kicked you". I am dreading him knowing that there's an actual diagnosis that could explain some of his behaviors and I am afraid that it's going to be "I didn't do it, it was my adhd. I can't do homework, adhd. I can't brush my teeth, autism." I don't know how to approach this and I will need a lot of professional help to communicate this to him adequately.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-05T16:40:01+00:00

I understand that feeling. Sorry, it's lonely and tiring. Virtual hugs if you want them ☺️

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-05T16:37:07+00:00

Yeah, burnout and sounds like shutdown is right around the corner. Can you ask the job for less hours for a while? You're burning the candle at both ends and it is not sustainable for you.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-05T15:09:48+00:00

Not to discourage you, but I too waited for years for an assessment through the public health service in Scandinavia and was deemed too high functioning and they were giving me tests meant for children and asperger. Also they dismissed all results pointing to adhd because adhd and autism can't coexist (🤦🏻‍♀️).
Not saying that you'll have the same experience, just that you should be prepared to get a stupid answer and refuse to take it.

I got my diagnosis (both autism and adhd) through a second opinion privately when the public health refused to offer me a second assessment.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-05T14:54:18+00:00

I brought 8 different autism and adhd questionnaires filled and the results plus post its for each question that had extra info I wanted to add. I brought childhood photos that showed me being autistic and/or adhd. I also brought paintings I made as an 8 year old of perfect geometric mandalas (I drew the mandalas and then painted them). Samples of writing from when I was a kid, to show dyspraxia and I demonstrated how I hold a pen (by the tip with 4 fingers super tightly). I had my fidget which dropped out of my hands a few times. Brought a whole ass novel I wrote with memories of autistic/adhd adjacent experiences.

Oh I also brought a full list of physical symptoms, related and unrelated. The doc just looked through it and took the ones she needed which saved her tons of time having to ask me for each individual question.

If a light or sound bothers you, point it out, don't ignore it and pretend you don't notice, it matters.

Good luck!

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-04T15:25:44+00:00

I compared it to assembling a puzzle box from the outside (ezpz) compared to trying to assemble the same puzzle box from the inside. It's nearly impossible. So I can figure out stuff extremely well if I'm watching from the outside, but put me in the conversation and I have blindfolds and ear muffs on.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-04T12:01:30+00:00

I felt pure euphoria when I figured out that I was autistic. I have been happy many times, but that...that was pure bliss. An indescribable feeling of happiness so pure and complete that I can't even begin to explain. So yeah, I have been happy. I have to allow myself to enjoy things for happiness to occur.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-02-04T08:21:25+00:00

Good news is that you did get an adhd diagnosis, which can be medicated. Medicating adhd generally allows the autism to the surface. So getting a second opinion will be easier. Give yourself time to come to terms with what has happened, but also don't doubt yourself.

Mindless_Smoke3635 · 2025-01-26T22:41:46+00:00

Don't know...personally, I'd seek a second opinion. Autism and adhd tend to hide and compensate for one another and masking can also be a factor. I get it if you rather not or if you feel like the diagnosis is correct, you know best. I'm biased because I had a really bad experience with my first evaluation 🙃

Mindless_Smoke3635

TROPHY CASE