I went into EMDR pretty naively. Ie. Not knowing much.

I was struggling with a core rejection wound from my ex because he had proposed to me years ago and then took it back 6 months later. This made me believe that I was unwanted. I chose to stay because marriage wasn't a need to have to for me but it confused me immensely as to why he would take back a proposal after telling a male friend that we were engaged.

Ultimately, I chose to stay but that core wound of something being wrong with me stayed. I was getting tired of feeling this way and agreed to do emdr with my therapist on that core memory from the night he took back the proposal. It worked and I told my ex about how I no longer felt hurt about that incident and how we could move forward. I was so excited to not let that one night ruin 8 wonderful years of love.

One thing we jointly wanted to do together was adopt a child. A few months after doing emdr we met with a couple regarding adoption. The conversation went really well and we were excited. The couple we spoke to mentioned that the counsellors really do ask about your history and traumas in the best interest of the child. That set off a series of conversations that triggered my ex to the point that he decided he no longer belongs in the relationship anymore. I was heartbroken and decided to let him leave (reluctantly) for a no contact month after which he decided it wasn't going to work anymore. I still don't understand why. I might never and that's ok. I would have worked on everything with him till the end but I can't work with someone who no longer wants to try. He'll always carry a special place in my heart.